Why Modi?

The Congress and its allies must be delusional.  Their supporters must be even more so.  Or else how could someone who thinks there was no loss to the nation in the 2G spectrum allocation scam still be expected to show up in the media at all?  Wouldn't anybody with even a modicum of brain want to hide such a fool from the public eye?  

Yesterday, Finance Minister Chidambaram made a condescending remark about Narendra Modi saying it appears as if Mr. Modi is taking an interest in the economy of the nation.  An interest?  No kidding!  A man who knows nothing about the economy can actually reform a state and make it the most productive, sought after investment destination in the nation?  Really?  Where the hell does this attitude to ridicule come from, after failing in almost all economic tests?  Inflation, out of control!  Current Account Deficit, massive!  Imports, increasing!  Exports, no growth!  Savings of Indian people, going down!  Some record this!

Chidambaram had the gall to say he welcomes people taking an interest and hopes that they will try to learn, first by unlearning, and then learning anew.  No shit!  This great learning is what has caused India's coal reserves to be looted, its spectrum allocated to random parties with huge losses to the exchequer, labour shortage in agriculture, terrible schemes like the rural employment guarantee schemes in which nobody benefits while the nation becomes full of beggars waiting for the next round of freebies ... the list goes on and on.

There were real opportunities - to rope in a huge amount of energy security for India.  Venezuela was willing to sell oil at below OPEC prices to certain nations, and India was on that list.  Iran already had a great relationship and was even willing to purchase in rupees!  What did the bloody Congress do?  Refuse Venezuela and agree to "wean" itself off Iranian oil, because that white female political goddess Hillary Clinton thought we needed to be weaned, like fucking babies.  She is the same woman who once said Mahatma Gandhi ran a gas station in St. Louis, Missouri!  Can you believe showing this moron any kind of respect?  There wasn't one Congress member with any bloody spine that told her to shove it.  Obama would have understood - that's the way the Americans are.  If you're straight with them, they get it.  But these slave minds are bent, crooked, even to us, so of course they'd bend over backwards for a white woman from the USA!  What we need to wean ourselves off is dependence, and sycophancy.

Here is why I will vote for Modi and hope he becomes PM of India - the guy actually has a track record of growth, a model of development, and a showcase of work he is willing to do.  Gujarat is not a hot destination for nothing.  This guy actually thinks he can do that to the rest of India.  The idiots in Congress, starting with their puppy, think India needs to be on life support, and they are the heroes that will provide it.  Modi thinks India can do better and do much more, and we don't need condescending and insulting programs - and he thinks right.  He will make India work.  That alone will get me to vote for him.

Screw the Congress, screw being lethargic, and screw being stuck in rhetoric.

Rahul Gandhi says he would like to see young people in politics.  Hello!  He's young and he's a dodo.  What if more young dodos join politics?  That's not what we want.  We need able people to run the show.  Age is just a number.  Just because Manmohan Singh is proving to be senile doesn't mean age is the problem.  Being senile is the problem!  Rahul Gandhi is proving you can be senile at a pretty young age.

Kapil Sibal wants a debate?  Seriously?  What for?  For Modi to waste his time?  Is this the best tactic to weaken Modi - so he can be debating with this fool instead of campaigning for the BJP?  How much of a debate can you have with someone so hopelessly delusional?   I am sick of this Congress lot.  Just to get them out of the way I'd vote for the BJP.

The Congress is the best party to rule a nation that no longer exists.  It is the Congress that created that weak nation, and it is the Congress that needs such a weak nation, in order to further their unimaginative agendas, sycophantic dynasty, and retarded notions.  Despite their strongest efforts, India has managed to come out of the delusion, and is now taking a deep, good look at itself.  Indians are frustrated, not because of not having enough to eat, but because of being suppressed from reaching their true potential.  

We don't need free food.  We need a free nation.  A nation free from the Congress party's antics.  A nation free from Kapil Sibal and Chidambaram.  A nation free from the pseudo intellectual Delhi high society coterie imagining it can run a nation.

I'd vote for Modi - nothing political, nothing personal, just for the fun of seeing fools kicked out.

- BSK

What's the fuss all about this damn movie?

Vishwaroopam.

No matter what, the support for Kamal Haasan is extremely well deserved.  At the very least Kamal Haasan has tried to do something he believed in and he has pulled it off very well. 

Unfortunately, what he has tried to do isn't anything great.

The fact that this movie is being hailed as something great by some people is an indication of how pathetic the other movies around it are!

Kamal Haasan is an incredibly talented actor.  That's also because he has invested himself heavily for many, many years in that art and craft.  He has made no such investment in directing and it shows.  He still does better than many so called "commercial" directors and that shows as well.

Let's not set the same standards for Kamal Haasan as we would do for others.  His fans have every right to expect better, unless they have refused to grow up or are disrespectul enough to lower their standards for him.  If you've been around in the industry for over fifty years, and you've won national recognition, you need to get your shit together.  It's that simple, as far as I'm concerned.

This movie has a hard time deciding what it is.  It works quite well as a good guys vs. bad guys movie, without any of the pretentions of global ramifications, nations involved, plots that humanity should worry about, religion and all that bull.  For this film, it doesn't matter who the bad guys are.  They are terrorists and that would suffice.  But there are irrelevant elements that attempt rather childishly to take it to some other level, and fail miserably.  If this is Kamal Haasan trying to be "global" in his viewpoint, then I'm afraid he simply doesn't cut it as a storyteller.

The transformation from the effeminate dance teacher to awesome action hero that leaves the girl drop jawed was fantastic, even though we expected it.  A few seconds of action, and the switch was complete.  The moment the slow motion replay followed it, the whole effect was diluted and pissed away.  This is Kamal Haasan the director making sure, rather condescendingly, that we get it.  We sure got it, for expecting better.

An uncouth hero, who doesn't give a damn about any God can be just that, without picking any arguments with anyone.  He can just pretend as convenient, as needed.  In fact, that type of character would be a karma yogi and would be incredible.  Kamal Haasan hasn't reached for anything that high.

The physical obstacle course that the ageing protagonist puts himself through, all by himself, for absolutely no reason, really asks the question - "Why are we watching this?".  If he is such a superhuman operator, we know he must be capable of going through an obstacle course just like all other jihadis who're training for militancy.  This is Kamal Haasan's irrepressible narcissism gaining momentum.  It culminates (in this movie) with him sleeping with the girl.  Just in case we had any lingering doubts about his virility, since he has led her on so far to believe he's really married to her for convenience, and obviously for safe cover.

The conversation with the black immigration official is priceless trite.  Clearly Kamal Haasan the writer knows nothing beyond the stereotypes his front seat fans already have in mind.  Thankfully, it is in English.  Erm, American.

If anybody ever figures out why the Nigerian terrorist shaves his pubic hair before going out, and why we had to see it, please enlighten us.  Not that we're heavy with anticipation, but some lightening of the load of bull would help considerably.

This would have been a fantastic movie with Ultimate Star Ajith in the lead.  In fact, he would have had more fun with this sort of role.  Except that there is nobody who can write a script even this good for him.  Kamal Haasan the writer constantly supports Kamal Haasan the actor, but where is Kamal Haasan the visionary?  Certainly invisible in this movie.

The US military's soldier, uttering "shit" when he shoots a woman from his helicopter is ... what?  I seriously don't know why this movie has to lick up to the Americans, found as they are in the wrong countries fighting wars with people completely unconnected to those that attacked them! 

There are any number of dreadful lapses, but the humour survives!  I'm not sure why we would want to be humoured through so much labour to make us laugh, but this is again Kamal Haasan not knowing what movie he is making.  The actor in him easily takes on all the lack of congruence though!

The most annoying thing about the movie is its unformed world view.  The grey areas are great, but what's the defining conflict?  It's between a group of bad buys and good guys, with two chicks in the mix.  That's it.  What is the fuss all about?

- BSK.

Kamal Haasan is a Genius!

For all the hype surrounding his movie Vishwaroopam and the premiere show on DTH platforms, the controversy within the industry over this decision, and all the arguments, there is buzz too!  And the buzz isn't about anything in the movie.  Kamal Haasan is a genius!

The cost of the movie is 95 crores says Kamal Haasan.  Nobody knows if this is true, but if he says it is, it must be.  Not that anybody has come forward to buy it, but there are so many things nobody wants to buy at cost price, so if you're not able to sell the new house you built, you can always rent it out, or lease it out.  There are other alternatives, and Kamal Haasan is going after them, because he is a genius!

Here is his interview:

http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/todays-paper/tp-oncampus/viswaroopam-will-hit-homes-first/article4188964.ece

and another article: http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/industry-and-economy/marketing/airtel-dth-to-premiere-viswaroopam-on-jan-10/article4235220.ece

He has spoken about some people fighting a war against technology.  It must be some sort of amazing star wars technology if more than fifteen lakhs of Indians have been watching TV through DTH for a while now.  So, it must be a WAR out there against this "technology" if more and more people are buying DTH systems for their homes.  Wow!  Kamal Haasan is a genius!

All DTH systems in the country have been delivering movies for a long time now, but surely they will need a new set of microprocessors, software, upgrades and modifications if a movie has to be aired before it comes out in the theatres.  After all, this "technology" has to be "embraced", not just used, says Kamal Haasan, genius!

Kamal Haasan expects 40-50 percent of a target 15 lakh DTH subscribers, that's a good 6-7.5 lakh subscribers, to watch this movie one day before its theatrical release, by paying Rs.1000.  He also says there is no way this can be pirated, while humbly accepting that there is no way to really fight "technology".  There it is again!  But here is the recorder you can use to pirate it - http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/703341-REG/Elgato_Systems_10021040_EyeTV_HD_DVR.html.  But who knows?  Maybe it won't work when you and I connect it.  Kamal Haasan is a genius!

Kamal Haasan expects this movie to make 150 Cr. rupees.  That's the equivalent of every single resident of Tamilnadu, all 7 crore people, including children and old, poor and rich, shelling out 20 rupees each and then some coming from somewhere else.  How many of them want to see a Tamil actor in a film of "international importance", jumping, shooting, saying things like, "I'm the villain and the hero, both!", that keeps a serious, if fat, tired and sleep deprived face while saying so, is beyond some of us mortals in this population, but then, Kamal Haasan is a genius!  He must know.

The movie contains kamal haasan, guns, white guys, kamal haasan, muslims, kamal haasan, explosions, kamal haasan, a young chick, terrorism, kamal haasan, and some kind of plot involving all the above and Kamal Haasan.  It must be important to get the viewpoint of an actor from Alwarpet about these burning topics, because he is a genius.

The movie itself, of which there has been no talk, is billed as a spy thriller.  Here is the trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP3a-cQ19Og

And here is a trailer of another spy thriller, that came out years ago - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD-uQreIwEk

And its sequel - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-HqyyfBbSo

But maybe you like Kamal Haasan's English accent better?

- BSK.

The Nucleus of the TN power shortage.

Kudankulam is hardly the root of the problem with the acute power shortage in Tamilnadu - it is corruption and rank inefficiency of the TN government and its politicians.

I was at a gathering in Erode, where grievances were put forward.  An industrialist with a sizable investment and hundreds of employees in his spinning mill made this request - "We know there is shortage of power and power plants are coming up.  Can you ensure you supply us the same 8 hours of power, but do so in one stretch, so we can be productive?  We have some machines that take 20 minutes to get up to speed, so we get only forty minutes per hour, if you cut off electricity every one hour.  How can we pay wages for 8 hours to our workers, when only 3 hours of work get done?"

Then came some revelations - Tamilnadu has been encouraging investments in wind power for sometime, and there were many takers, who put up windmills.  Their windmills supply power to the grid, and TNEB or what is called TANGEDCO is contracted to pay the suppliers.  Of late, nobody has got paid, and if you are one of them, and you asked for your payment, a bribe is demanded.

So, many windmill owners have decided to switch off their windmills, since they at the very least, don't have to incur maintenance costs!  So, even when there is wind, there is no production, because the government is unwilling to make payments without officials being bribed!

If you want to set up a new windmill, the going bribery rate for approval is 18 lakhs!  For your own willing investment of around 1 Cr., which is beneficial to the whole nation, a bribe is being demanded!  One can imagine why no new investments in wind energy are coming forth!

The Tamilnadu government recently announced some incentives for new solar power projects, with subsidies around 30%, which the providers will discount right away when you want to purchase the various components for your home or industry.  None of the suppliers have got any notification, so none are able to offer the subsidy.  It has been about two months, and considering this notification is only a piece of paper, one can bet some money that it can be "obtained" if a bribe is paid.  But there is no guarantee these solar providers will be paid for the units they put on the grid if they choose that scheme.

Maintaining the shortage is actually beneficial to the corrupt officials and politicians, because they can collect bribes.  In other words, denying a full supply of electrical power is a cash cow at various levels.  First, you have to bribe to get a new industrial connection.  Then you have to bribe to keep your supply coming reliably.  Industries are even willing to do this!  Since the government has promised uninterrupted power supply to twenty new industries that are investing in the state, one can imagine they must have paid bribes too.  Even if they did, those are the shining industries with brand value so they cannot be ignored.

The loss of productivity is compounded in several ways and is impacting the nation in so many ways.  Diesel is burnt by many to run their generators, and almost all of them are bigger in capacity than they need to be, simply because there would be no point in having a generator supplying less than required.  So, almost all of them are burning diesel needlessly, and producing power that is not used, because the excess power doesn't go beyond the captive unit.  It is simply wasted.

By forcing small and medium sized industries and institutions to invest in new technology like solar power, with or without subsidies, that money gets sucked out of their core activities, and contributes to more expensive products and services, reducing competitiveness.  Those that invested in wind power are severely regretting their decisions now, because they could have used that money elsewhere.  Money getting sucked out of the economy in ANY way is an illness, and the corruption and inefficiency cycle is exacerbating every single problem.

People are buying UPS systems for their homes in large numbers.  UPS systems do not provide power, they merely store energy in batteries, to release later.  There are latent inefficiencies in such systems, and all that is happening is an increased consumption when there is supply!  A UPS system draws power even when it may not be used on those miraculous days when there is no power cut.  These units are not cheap, considering how many homes are buying them.  More money sucked out of the economy!  But these are much smaller crimes compared to windmills that are not spinning even when there is wind.

Now the Chief Minsiter Jayalalithaa wants all the power from Kudankulam to be given to Tamilnadu.  If this happens, the rest of the nation is to be denied power from KNPP not because TN is suddenly needy from its incredible economic growth, but because it doesn't have its house in order. 

People who supply transformers to TANGEDCO have not been paid in several months.  If they choose to start a litigation, the ruling will undoubtedly be in their favour - to be paid all dues, with interest.  But since they have invested crores of rupees in their manufacturing units, they don't want to be unofficially "blacklisted" from future orders.  So they will not sue.

I spoke to an (AIADMK) Ward councillor at the same gathering, and this is what he had to say, rephrased only for translation - "No matter what we do, you're going to kick us out in the next elections, so why do you want to stop us from making some money?"

- BSK.

May all these VVIP helicopters crash.

It's been a while since something grabbed my attention and made me seethe with anger.  Considering this is India, that in itself is an accomplishment for both parties.

The VVIP helicopter purchase scam has come to the fore now, as if the other scams have been sorted out, reversed, done and dusted.  None of that has happened, and yet, this one is particularly disgusting, not because our VVIPs are involved, or in fact, an Army Officer is involved in a bribery.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/army-officer-sought--5-mn-bribe-italy-probe/1022157/

None of this should surprise us anymore, as Indians, as the weasels of the world, as the scum of the earth, as the uncaring sloth filled silent murderers of anything that is sacred or sacrosanct like human dignity.

What should surprise us these days is if anything is devoid of some kind of corruption, some kind of illegality, of illicitness, or outright fraud.  No, India is not a great nation by any stretch, but we really don't have to compete to be the worst either.

Okay, so we need helicopters for our VVIPs.  Let's take a look at who these VVI pricks and pussies are in the first place - politicians!  About 95% of these helicopter rides are going to be used by the ruling class of India, which is unbelievably rich, wealthy beyond anything possible to imagine by most of us working in any enterprise.  I don't grudge them their wealth, if the wealth of the nation has not been stolen for this purpose.

Mother India has been raped, and is a constant rape victim, each time either an illegal mine is being dug or spectrum is sold at prices well below what is fair.  Our Mother is getting raped, because we, her children, participate in this act, willingly, and happily, to get some kind of out of turn favour.  As a result, we have cultivated an entire breed of rape specialists called politicians and bureaucrats, who think everything should belong to them, and basically NOTHING should belong to Mother India.

These helicopters were ordered from AgustaWestland, which is an Italian company, and at this point, we don't quite know if Sonia Gandhi or one of her cronies is involved.  We cannot point fingers to everything that is Italian and illegal and say she is a party to that.  That's not the point of this salvo.

There were bids from Kamov (Russia), Eurocopter (EU) and ostensibly a few others as well.  For some reason, the number in question is 12.  The figure available for this scam is around 3800 Cr rupees.  So the price for each helicopter is 3800/12 = 316 Cr!

Compare that to the Advanced Light Helicopter, made by our own Hindustan Aeronautics Limited, and it is cheap, since the ALH costs approximately 39.3 crores of rupees per unit.  So, at some level, this must be a convincing argument that we got a really bad deal, right?  Indeed, except that it hasn't registered yet!  We are stupid enough to believe in paying ten times the price of our "exceptional, world class" helicopter for an Italian one!

Buying all these helicopters from the HAL, and ordering any number of variants would have cost a lot less, AND the money is being put into our own economy - merely internal Central Government of India paperwork, ultimately.

We have already spent a lot of money developing the ALH, and many foreign countries have bought it from us!  But it is not good enough for our VVIPs?  Why not?  Because you cannot make money through kickbacks if you buy from Government of India FOR Government of India?  Who would pay a bribe to an undeserving vermin, piece of corrupt shit?  Moreover, these scum probably know the ALH, being made by their own corrupt brethren is likely to not live up to expectations.  In other words, the fucking thing might crash!


We were ready to throw a vast amount of foreign exchange at a foreign company that is ostensibly in competition with our own!  Bloody corrupt VVIP vermin!

Now, there is a finding that India changed the technical requirements in order to bring AgustaWestland into contention!  http://www.indianexpress.com/news/chopper-deal-kickbacks-india-changed-tech-requirements-to-help-italian-firm/1024929/

How far would we go to help out our Italian connection?  How far, when Ferrari's Formula One team has no problem "showing solidarity" with two of their sailors being tried in our legal system for murdering our fishermen in open waters?  It gets bloody hard to believe Sonia marrying Rajiv has nothing to do with this.

The absurdity doesn't end here.

When any Government of India employee goes on the paid vacation under the LTC (Leave Travel Concession) scheme, those that are eligible for flights are mandated to buy tickets from Air India, even though it is usually more expensive!  What is the bloody logic behind flying in a loss making carrier, that is usually shoddy with schedules and maintains its planes badly, where staff members are unprofessional and flight staff are likely to have fights in mid-air?  I wonder if the GOI will take kindly to an employee missing a day's work due to an Air India inefficiency and subsequent late arrival after leave.  After all, it wasn't the employee's fault was it?  Besides the point.

The real reason behind not ordering the helicopters from HAL, besides not being able to claim bribes, has to be that the GOI's VVIP pigs do not have faith in the ALH.  After all, it has had its share of crash landings and teething problems, and those things are better left to the military!  Who cares if some army brass or soldiers die in an ALH crash?  It is just a small news item.  Like this one: http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/other-states/iafs-dhruv-helicopter-crashes-in-uttar-pradeshs-sitapur/article6249690.ece?homepage=true

But if a politician prick crashes, the whole nation is agog with the sad messages pouring in, the marches on the streets, the processions, and news channels whining for a whole day about how exactly the damn thing went down.

A king would have some remorse at this sort of anomaly, because he was required to have a conscience.  Our leaders do not.  Now, why the fuck are we being programmed to accept democracy as some sort of decent option?

- BSK.

In the White Man's Trap.

It has been centuries since the white man left the shores of his native lands and went all over the globe, looking for riches that were nowhere to be found in his own.  Along the way, white man had to be resourceful - for invasion, violence, innovation, invention, and for making up things along the way, like democracy, free markets and so on - things that slowly persuade other people to follow benignly because it sounds like a good idea.

After all, how bad can "of the people, for the people, by the people" be?  Well, shit!  Pretty bad as we are learning now!  The idea of free markets has taken rampant part in exploitation, because those lands where people are being exploited do not have kings who would have slit the throats of businessmen doing anything like that.

The white man has always been about doing the dirty work out of sight, and keeping a nice, soft, benign front.  The rest of the world has been somewhat opposite to that.  If a kingdom stood for violence, you'd see dead bodies in the streets.  It won't be sending planes to bomb another faraway country while its citizens are sitting around in a coffee shop watching it on the news locally.

The millions of people that flock to the USA to live there, do so in all innocence, believing in shit like "The American Dream" while in reality, they actually strive to prop up some really huge lies, by serving the machine that white man built out of nothing.  You don't have to be very smart to do materially well in the USA - it has plenty of power to lend you money when you fuck up.  That is how it has piled up the biggest debts in history of mankind, but it doesn't matter!  The White Man is all about making us temporarily feeling good while he gets all the benefits!  All big businesses in the world - pharma, fast food, fashion, entertainment, booze, cigarettes, drugs, education, sex - are made of this simple philosophy.  Take the candy, and become a slave for life!

The same goes for the much talked about cultural invasion of ancient cultures by white man's content, on top of which stands Hollywood, and now taken over by television marquees such as "Friends".  The trap is the feel good factor.  Our children will fall for the culture of temporary feel good, as long as it never talks about consequences.  All love stories are traps.  Everything feels great when the romance peaks and ends in a commitment at the end of the movie.  Oh wow!  "Titanic" was great, but it really is about bad maritime navigation than anything else, isn't it?

There is never a story about how the romance gets fucked up just after the engagement and how this amazing idea of romancing, dating, the whole soulmate shit and all the good shit including the diamond ring and the wedding ends with rather stunning divorce rates of over 50%, and social misery, old age homes, and disjointed families.

Break ups are the release!  But you cannot sell much to someone looking forward to a break up, can you?  The boy and girl in love will buy cards, entertain themselves, buy gifts, and spend money!   The couple that come out of a breakup come out wiser, a little more discerning, and less gullible.  So, what do we do with them?

Well, there is always the next beginning!  And white man's next great idea is just around the corner.  Viagra!  Remain young forever!  For a culture based on the temporary, Viagra actually tries to keep youth permanent.

Popular romantic stories tell us that sometimes, even though we know something could be a mistake, we should make it!  What kind of moron would say something like this?  It is only by constantly building upon untruth that a bloated unreality can be maintained, which serves the selling machine.

It's the dishonesty of the "selling" culture that really bothers me.  In fact, this whole "selling" culture is based on the white man's idea of the free market and the assumed "right" to persuade someone to buy something, but there is some dharma in that, so it has a right to exist as a viewpoint.  What I find disgusting is that there is "moral science" in school, there is "physical education" and there is even "sex education" but there is no "market education".  How do we cope with shit that we are constantly sold and shit that constantly persuades us into believing untruth?

The same sort of happy, giddy, romantic progress translates into our newfound obsession with easy success.  Look at the number of idiots who fall for nonsense like converting $400 to $3100 in a month through Forex trading!  So why can't the government throw in its 300 billion of reserves into this amazing business and in a month's time, we will have trillions!  How hard can it be to conjure up some common sense?

The number of young Indian people I meet on a daily basis who believe they are smart enough to see huge success in their lives is just mind boggling.  There are simply no statistics to support that kind of success in such large numbers.  Even in the country that promises great things, the USA, 1% of the population has nearly 80% of the nation's privately held wealth!  Of course there is always the promise, the trap, the possibility, but where is the education telling us that this sort of success is going to be elusive?

Boost improves stamina three fold?  What kind of motherfucking stupid ass, demented parenting pricks will believe this and feed their little shits with this goddamned product?  Three fold?  So how come our olympic athletes aren't tanking up on Boost and coming home with all the long distance gold medals?  Surely, if our athletes can tap into the secret of Boost, they could do three times better than the Africans?!  This lie is there on TV every single day, but since this is the white man's way of doing shit, we do not question it.

If there is to be an honest message to our kids and giddy parents, here it is - "Get off your pompous asses and work hard.  Save your money, and don't buy anything you don't need.  Life is not going to be easy.  Get used to it.  Your kid has to run kilometres everyday for his or her stamina to improve even a little bit.  Your kid will not become healthier by using Lifebuoy soap, or smarter or taller or sharper by drinking Horlicks.  Make the little shit eat vegetables and stay off junk food.  Tell the bastard that s/he will grow the same kind of paunch daddy has and suffer from worse diseases if s/he is not careful.

For heavens sake, your child is nothing special.  Your moron neighbour thinks just as highly about his little shit, and that moron also has medals and certificates to prove his little shit's great achievements.  Now think.  How did all of us excellent children from thirty years ago build such a mediocre nation?  By believing greatness is in our manifest destiny?  Yes, exactly.  Because we're staring at how white man built his countries and we think that is the way to do it!  Wake the fuck up!"

- BSK.

Number 1 in Number Two.

While the presidential "race" is hotting up in New Delhi, the human race seems to have little to look forward to in India.  In fact, it has plenty to look back on, literally.

http://www.thehindu.com/sci-tech/energy-and-environment/article3524150.ece

We are officially the #1 country for doing #2 in the open!  No shit.  Just too much of it.

The government is taking steps to curb open defecation.  Again, no shit.

http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/tamil-nadu/article3301113.ece

We still have the massive stigma of human excreta removal procedures. 

http://www.thehindu.com/health/policy-and-issues/article3524423.ece

Who the fuck ever said India is a superpower?  Make those fools do this job first.

But we're smart enough to rope in, who else apart from Sachin Tendulkar, for this campaign against shitting in your face: Shah Rukh Khan.  Perhaps from now on, instead of waving his hand with a thumbs up, he will show two fingers.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/article3329786.ece

He sells fairness cream, so I guess it must be fashionable for him to tell people not to shit in the open.  Maybe he can sell some kind of superglue that will stop people from shitting all together?

Seriously, who are the bums that will listen to Shah Rukh Khan and decide not to shit in the open?  In fact we should be grateful nobody takes a shit while listening to him.

Apparently, Sikkim has become India's first Nirmal state.  I have no idea what this non-English word means, but I reckon it must mean that despite 60% of the world's open air shitters being in India, in Sikkim you can shit indoors most of the time.

We're hoping that Kerala and Himachal Pradesh achieve this status.  A status?  Can we take aim any lower?

There are umpteen reasons we may be lagging behind and setting new standards in the negative with this enormous statistic of sixty percent of the world's open air shitting going on in India.  This is by number, and not by mass or weight, mind you, so there is scope for some optimist to come up and say patriotically, "But we don't take such big shits!"

I think the reason we take shits in the open is because we just don't give a shit.  It is an extension of the same habit of leaning on others in a queue for no reason.  It is the same attitude behind spitting paan and being loud and rude in public.  We don't care about contamination, and we don't care about sickening ourselves or others.  We are not human enough for that.

Building more toilets is only going to solve the problem to some extent.  What do we do to get Indians to use them?  What about keeping them clean?  What about water supply to those toilets, and what about accountability in maintaining them?  If it is profitable to steal the tap and sell it in the market, the Indian will do it.  If it is profitable to pull out the entire toilet and sell it, the Indian will do it.  The only way to curb this menace is to make shit profitable.  If these open air shitters could take a dump in an envelope or a box and bring it to a government office and get paid fifty rupees every day, it might work to some extent.

For sure, shit is manure.  If done in the fields, it can add some value as a fertilizer.  But it adds no bloody value if we shit all over railway tracks, beaches, river banks, and city streets.  People doing this must be punished.  It costs about Rs. 6000 to set up a toilet at home, so every ration card holder must be inspected and given a toilet if there is none at a home.  If not, the community toilet must be built and access provided.  Beyond this point, if anyone still takes a shit in the open, that person's ration card must be voided.  How hard can this be?  Agricultural labour income is now fixed at Rs.500/day, and there are plenty of vacancies, but nobody wants these jobs.  Go figure.  One month work, and toilet guaranteed, but no thanks.  We will do shitty jobs, live without hard work, and shit in the open!

With Indians, it is nothing but attitude, and we refuse to come out of low decency behaviour.  11 million people shitting on railway tracks every single day is just an unbelievable number.  I'm surprised more trains don't trip and fall because of this.

Then the cost of disease control.

There is no bigger disease than Indian attitude.

Hopefully we don't start a new festival of shit.

- BSK.