generations of English speaking Indians have seen "Whose Life Is It
Anyway?" so we must all really salivate over how good this sounds.
"Children of a lesser God", or victims of terrorism? Ditto here, who
remembers an Oscar nominated film with the exact same name?!
Chattisgarh, "War On" Naxals! After the War On Drugs, and the War on
Terror, both of which were flop shows, now we have a War on Naxals?
India is a great place to unleash Wars upon, starting from War on
Stray Dogs, to War on Corruption, War on Filth, War on Floods, War on
Drought, and hopefully we can fight the War of all Wars with a War on
Stupidity followed by a War on Wars?
How easily the pigs of Indian television use the word WAR! It is a
word of immense import, one that evokes a state where all reason has
failed, all our abilities as negotiators have been exhausted, and a
state where our conflict resolution skills have been overthrown by
bloodthirst - physical conflict guaranteed to bring about death and
destruction. Getting caught in catch phrases is one thing, but utter
disrespect for the power of words will have grave consequences as
well. (pun intended).
A "Total Recall" of Amitabh Bachchan movies on his 67th birthday!
Phew, that should make him really proud, considering he hates the word
"Bollywood". This one is really cheap, too, and must have come from
the unfailingly low Mumbai uncreative mindset that works for the media
industry there or in New Delhi. The word "recall" has really negative
connotations of faulty merchandise, and if Amitabh Bachchan is so
faulty, we really have to cry for this nation's heroes.
If these catch phrases have not worn us down with their uncreative
repetitions in the last forty eight hours, we finally caught up with
the oldest crap term of all time, "Nuclear Capable"! This one's been
away for some time, to be honest, but back with a bang today!
"Privhti-2 successfully fired today". We all know it is a missile.
Does it make it any more remarkable because it is nuclear capable? A
nuclear weapon is simply another payload for the missile to carry.
This is the stupidest way to get people all concerned, while it really
shouldn't mean anything.
Whether we put fireworks or a bomb on it, the missile is just the
vehicle carrying it. Even a donkey is "nuclear capable", and it
really is time our dumb news channels stopped hammering us with this
infantilish term.
A missile's job is merely to hit its target accurately and to evade
counter measures. That's it. If Prithvi-2 reached its target, it's a
success. Any missile that can carry 100 kgs or more, for sanity's
sake, is nuclear capable. Your kid's school bus is nuclear capable,
as is a bullock cart.
Now why the fuck do we need to "launch" new cars? Whenever cars get
launched, they get destroyed, don't they? Haven't we seen enough
movies to know this? The BMW Z4 was "launched" today after the
successful "launch" of the Jaguar and the Land Rover range by Tata
vehicles? Do we see any of these pieces of shit in orbit around us?
At sixty lakhs for a Z4 you wouldn't have to launch the damn thing -
You would have to beg, plead, market, schmooze, and lick the boots of
the richest Indians to get a sale. The guys who know where to throw
sixty lakhs aren't going to be dying to own something just because it
got launched into their faces from a hoarding.
It isn't just a matter of creativity, when it reeks incompetence to
the nth degree. If Formula One driver David Coulthardt drove an F1
car on a new bridge in the USA at 260km/hr, and had invited a speeding
ticket and a loss of Rs. 20 lakhs to the "organizers" of the event, we
wouldn't see just the car standing still and Coulthardt getting into
his seat fifty times. We would actually see the bloody car speeding
across. For some reason, even though it happened in Mumbai, and with
this whole story that got so much "coverage", we never saw the car
going across the bridge!
There is a bunch of uncreative, giddy Indians out there, putting out
messages like we are the USA. Many of these fools directly copy not
just the catch phrases from very American precedents, but also
stupidly and crudely emulate their presentation style, whether it
makes sense to Indians or not. Are these the same motherfuckers and
whores that put white skinned models on our brands? I dread to think
that is a whole other bunch of idiots for us to deal with.
India is being Mumbaied royally, Mind it! Ugh.
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