27 November 2009

Are you truly a human resource?

>>>> 3 D Artist, 24th Nov 2009
Newslink Services (India) Pvt Ltd
Delhi, 1-3 years: Candidate should have good oral and written english
communication skills and also strong analytical and logical skills.

>>>>>Job Description

- FLUID visual effects.
- Expert in 3d Studio Max Mechanical and organic subjects (3D
modeling, texturing/Mapping, lightning, rendering, animation).
- Comfortable to be a team player.
- Minimum three years recognizable experience in the industry.
- Familiarity with Real Flow and similar software would be a
significant advantage.


For some reason, I don't see anything connecting oral and written
English communication skills, analytical and logical skills - to the
artistry of visual effects, but some bum in a recruiting firm, or in
human resources, sees a connection. In fact, considering all the
above is in the same advertisement for a 3D Artist, the same person
must have all of this. Yes, the candidate should be analytical,
logical, and be able to communicate in fluid spoken and written
English, while tapping away at a computer to create 3 dimensional
wizardry as an artist. Perhaps during the interview, this incredible
candidate will have to demonstrate some cooking skills as well.

In India, I have come across the stupidest, most ignorant bums working
in HR - shitheads who don't even know what they themselves are doing
in their positions, but expected to gauge who might be a good recruit
for the company. These vermin are so bad at their jobs that most
candidates with any self esteem will want to run away if not puke on
their faces at the very first meetings.

If you ask any question that contains more than five words, for
example, "Can you give me an example of your company taking an
interest in an employee's growth?", you are bound to get a stupid
answer like, "We have some of the best growth opportunities in the
industry". Well, duh! If you haven't even grown enough to understand
my question, what the fuck is this growth opportunity that you missed?

Fucking bums. Just in case you're beginning to doubt the "bum" claim,
ask yourself how a DTP Operator job would get listed in the "Media and
Entertainment" section on a popular job site. Without idiots, idiocy
would die. It is really hard to explain how an unimpressive ticket
like Pratibha Patil could become the President of this country, but
don't put it beyond the recommendations of a highly "qualified"
inhuman resource expert to inflict us with this sad choice. Did you
see her interview after her famous Sukhoi sortie? If that is not out
of sorts at a human resource level, nothing is.

Why is it that HR in India attracts this kind of incompetence? In
reality, except for top notch companies driven by real vision, of
which there are very, very few in India, the rest are just cattle
class rigs, run by assholes who can talk big words without being able
to prevent any of it from sounding like farts. The simple answer is
that we have bred mediocrity for too long, and so that is all we can

The real answer is that we don't really respect people for what they
are. There are just so many of us, that we don't need to respect
anybody we don't fear. Instead of focusing on how the best can be
brought out of a human as a resource, we focus indeed on how that
person would "fit" into our preconceived notion of the world and the
path ahead. This is the best way to plan the path downhill, but then,
all we have to do is look good to the bum above. So, neither is the
company likely to find a treasure of a human being in a recruit, nor
is the employee going to find a company worthy of giving a great deal

Even if such a heaven made match occurs, it won't be because of any HR
clown getting his or her act right. It will be because of a senior
level manager meeting a bright young performer in the elevator, on a
flight, or in a seminar or social gathering. From the very first
contact with a company, Indian companies make sure the person calling
or coming in is viewed with suspicion, given the "threshold guardian"
routine by the reception, completely deflated with questions like,
"this is regarding.....?", while the person who just walked in would
know right away that this isn't the fool who would understand this is
regarding a revolutionary idea that might catapult the company to a
cutting edge presence in the field. Bums hire bums, and it is evident
from the very first contact.

If you can get past this nuisance, which will be distasteful but not
hard, you will most likely meet some HR retard who cannot get past
this idea that you are looking for a job, no matter how much they
"need" someone like you to actually tell them what to do with their
own mission! So, academic and professional track records dispensed
with, it is usually time to see what you are looking for - not because
the bastard cares, but because he wants to look and sound as cool as
someone else might in his position in another company. The whole
process should be exciting for both, right? But chances are, it will
be testy, pretentious, limiting, suspicious, or outright hostile.
See, it is always about preventing something great from possibly
taking off. That is what the HR bastards are there for - to limit
everyone to cattle class.

So, when one of these bums puts an advertisement for a 3D Artist, that
candidate has to have logical and analytical skills - as if anybody
would advertise for the opposite. What yardstick might be used to
gauge the logical and analytical skills of any candidate applying for
the post of a 3D Artist? And then, the whole "team player" shit.
This is just a warning to say, "Hey, you can't be looking better than
everybody else!". Chances are, their team sucks and cannot handle
looking bad after you show your brilliance. So, be warned with this
"team" thing. The management board probably resembles a gang more
than a team, and gangsters know how to come together to look good at
the stock market or to their bankers. That is how the crooks set up
their empire schemes in the first place. Pretend to perform, raise
stock value, encash, run, set up the next scheme. It is just success
after success.

If you want to do something really meaningful with your life, do it on
your own. Forget about applying for a job, forget about dealing with
tricksters and shenanigans and uncaring animals, and beat your own
path. If you see incompetence anywhere, make sure you take serious
offence. Be sure to point out who is a bum and appreciate who is
performing. Don't worry about what effect it will have. Refuse to be
impressed with buildings, dress codes, company image and rubbish like
that. Look everyone in the eye and be respectful, but stay on top of
the games people play. Especially the childish ones the fools in HR
will try to get you into. Don't let the donkeys bray louder than your
clear voice.


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