This bumbling idiot Harsha Bhogle has been at it for some time now - throwing out tentative ideas and hoping some hooks will find biters. Given the number of idiots in India, it is not surprising this fool even has a fan base! But enough is enough, because....
He now suggests (the best of) corporate India should help India's cricketers. Since when did corporate India get this claim on excellence? The Indian cricket team is the #1 ranked cricket team in the world in Tests and is nearly there in ODIs. Where is corporate India? Isn't this a bit like a pujari advising Gautama Buddha? And Kumble apparently wants to help young cricketers! What the heck for?
http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/473310.html
Corporate India is about hiding incompetence behind a facade of professionalism. It is about rank incompetence in numbers pretending like it can do a job. Show me ONE achievement of corporate India that is unique, pathbreaking, an example for the world to follow, and has changed the lives of many people positively. I can tell you without flinching that Kapil Dev single handedly inspired millions, changed our outlook towards life, and gave us something no corporate motherfucking world conquering gameplaying suitwearing cocksucking high flying asshole has ever given - hope in ourselves. Kapil did that, without ever resorting to anything boring.
Without the cursing, here is why Harsha should not have this job of writing trash and getting paid. Here is the clearest difference between what corporate ethos is about and the ethos of a sportsperson. Corporations are all about the collective. Sports is about the individual, yes, even in team games. You can hide a lousy employee, but you cannot hide a lousy sportsperson. Mediocrity can pass in an office, on the field it will be mercilessly exposed. You can hang on to a company for life just by not becoming offensive. Most sports teams get rid of players very quickly without performances. The yardstick for a sportsperson is being the best in the world. The yardstick for a company is its bottomline - it doesn't have to be better than anyone in order to survive. (Come on! No matter what you argue against this, does it really take a Tata to make salt?). There is no glare on one failure in the corporate world. In fact, there is no glare on many collective failures either. On the sportsperson, the glare is intense, and merciless. It is not surprising how Harsha and his wife have talked about how corporations can learn from sports. That's the way it should be. Now, for some monkey's finger in the ass reason, Harsha thinks our corporations can teach cricket. No, Harsha. Corporations can own cricket but they cannot really do much about producing better cricketers, even at the human level.
First of all, why do we want our cricketers to be good human beings? Is that something we care about if he can crunch a batsman's toe, or whack the ball out of the stadium? The most primal thing about sport is that it is essentially physical. Do we have a problem with this? Then we should not watch sports or take any interest in it. But we do, and not only do we do, there are fools like Harsha who think sportsmen should lead their lives a certain "ideal" way. Nice guys are not who we want in sports. We want winners. Once in a while, there will be an MS Dhoni, a pretty nice guy who stays cool, talks well, and is above board as far as ethics go. But we won't love him for any of that if he can't whack the crap out of a cricket ball and lead his Team India to giddy achievements.
Why is it that we cannot celebrate pure brilliance and always have to reduce the mercurial to the accessible mediocrity of a "regular" person. The "regular" or "good" people are not interesting. Celebrities are supposed to be interesting people. Let them have their characteristics. What is so hard to understand about this?
For one, we should dread Anil Kumble having anything to do with Indian cricket or young cricketers. It is all good that he was a hard working cricketer, a fierce competitor, took his moustache off, and is now leading the RCB in the IPL. Ah! The last part should really rattle us. And this is where I beg to differ from Harsha's enthusiastic endorsement of Kumble wanting to work with India's youngsters in grooming them and helping them prepare for life as youngsters. Preparing for life as humdrum, grimacing also rans? No thanks! What worked for Kumble will not work for others who don't come from where he does.
Moreover, and more importantly, Kumble is not Kapil Dev. He does not inspire. His statistics are awesome, but the very fact that he is a disciplined, focused and beady eyed competitor also means that he is like many school teachers with several degrees and the intent to make you look up to them. Truth is, this is EXACTLY the kind of monster most of our young cricketers will be glad to not be under. That is why they are playing cricket, not pursuing studies!
In the last edition of the IPL, Kumble was playing with rich kids. Kids who could become millionaires with one big innings, one inspired spell of bowling lasting no more than 4 overs, and kids who could become heroes or zeroes before the game ended, only to come back to life and the limelight shortly after in the very next game. Kumble was the old school leader. But was he graceful? Only if you left the letters d, i, and s out at the start. He removed the one thing that RCB had in shortage to start with - enthusiasm. Under Kumble, the team did better than it did under Pietersen, but that is not saying much.
Kumble was angry, yelling around, not able to handle pressure, rude to the youngsters on the field, and finally, when the tense moments came, came up short. On one occasion, it was the last over, and Kumble was batting with the tail, with a few tight runs to get. He took a single and went to the non strikers end. Then, he saw the kid at the other end play and miss a couple, went over to advice him, and guess what? He was bowled the very next ball! Seriously, what is there to tell a tailender when 4 is needed off 1 ball? This isn't bad captaincy, or strategy - it is the symptom of a control freak, who has set ways of doing things, and thinks he can will it out of his wards. The schoolmaster at his worst!
This is not the moron we want grooming our youngsters to handle their professional, personal or business affairs. Most certainly not their "lives". What is that going to be - a paid father job? A job that will take all the fun out of being out in the open, bowling, batting or fielding? That is all cricket is, isn't it? Isn't it the team that does these three things that wins? So, what exactly does Kumble have to do, since he can't teach others to bowl like him, doesn't know how to bat, and is a lousy fielder?
Harsha thinks our youngsters need to be taught how to handle success! Sure, but not by sore losers. Kumble not once happily acknowledged how good another team was when his team was beaten. Being sore and serious, and looking constantly agitated, constipated, disgruntled and aggravated is hardly the way to handle life and this is hardly the moron who should be helping our youngsters become anything like this.
So what if our youngsters don't take life so seriously? They are much more fun than this schoolmaster prick! Fun is what cricket is. It is just a game, for fuck's sake! Who are these idiots who are busy suggesting that fun be taken out of life? We need all the entertainment we get out of something like the IPL, and that is why we pay, and that is why it is rich. I don't grudge any of our kids striking it rich in one season and vanishing the next. His purpose, his dharma, was to burn bright for that one season? So be it! I don't want to see everyone becoming the dull lamp that glows for a hundred years!
Chennai doesn't have any of this scholastic disciplinarian, or corporate management shit. But they are a happy team that rose from 7th place and won the IPL. They are the MOST consistent team in the IPL. Dhoni keeps it simple and kids respond. End of story. The results are there to show. Dhoni is the man and the men in yellow are the happiest team. They even won the Fairplay Award, so they're not stressing out either. Harsha and Kumble, learn from MSD and keep your fucking traps shut.
BSK
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