Enough already!

I'm over the moon with our cricketing boys winning the World Cup.  Finally it is done and dusted - the elusive World Cup is now here, with us!  We are on the top of the world, both in Tests and ODIs and looking every bit like it, after beating many worthy opponents on the way.  I am thrilled to bits.

We have heard a lot about doing it for the nation, for Sachin, for various other reasons, from various players.  We have heard a lot about "the team".  And somehow, by yelling for "India!" (what else can we yell for?), a lot of us have somehow taken ownership of this Cup as if we all deserve it.  This bit is hilarious.

As far as I can see, nobody did a damn thing for the team.  That is not to say they were being selfish.  Hardly so!  They were being thoroughly professional and pooling in their resources in order to secure the win.  This is one very special fifteen member team, not because they can put aside their peeves and egos, as many fools have waxed eloquent about, but because they understood what it takes to win - it is that simple.  Why does the rest of India not understand how to get shit done?  We should not need patriotism to come to our aid each time we should do something to make India work.  Work - that is what this Indian cricket team knows how to do - to make their plans work.  They know how to work on their game till it is good enough to take out the opposition.

Dhoni deserves praise not for doing all this for his nation, which he unwittingly has done, but for listening to his own intuition whenever it mattered most.  It is his single minded trust on his own ability and on his own judgment that won us the cup.  Salute a man that creates his own destiny.  Let's not forget how he stands out as an individual that can galvanize a group into a trusting unit, and let's understand that first and foremost he is a fiercely competitive professional, not to be fooled by anything including patriotism.

Sachin Tendulkar is a lot more given to this patriotism nonsense, but from Dhoni, as from Abhinav Bhindra, it is professionalism first.  No wonder both are world beaters, while Sachin needed Dhoni to get him there.  Australia have done this, what, four times?  And did we hear any of their captains ever say they did it for their kangaroos and the beer drinking morons waving flags?  Heck, they did not even do it for their flag.  They did it purely because they were fierce competitors who loved to win.

I am all for a bit of fun, but to put "nation" onto our young men playing a game is quite retarded.  So, if they are such patriots to win this for us, would they be traitors if they lost?  In our cricket team, I see one quality that is absent in most spheres in India - the want to be better.  These kids are special, and most are from ordinary families who have grabbed their opportunity with both hands.  It is their dharma and they understand it.  For the kind of money they make, they do not even need to be this good!  So, let's appreciate a bunch of fiercely competitive kids who are enjoying doing this for their own joy!  Let's celebrate them for the brash rascals they should be but somehow hold themselves back from being that.  Perhaps being brash is just a waste of energy and their coach has told them to harness that as well?

We should remember they play for the BCCI, not the nation of India.  The BCCI is a club registered in Tamilnadu.  Its affairs are private, and so are its moneys.  It is VERY fortunate for them that this patriotic nonsense pushes up ticket sales and the cost of TV rights, so each time one of you idiots runs with a flag, you're helping them make a buck or two!  They are a fantastic club, in that they take care of their fraternity very well.  But that has nothing to do with the nation of India!

For sure, this team represents India, but unlike our skeet shooters and track athletes, this bunch is tightly controlled by the BCCI.  Imagine having to take permission from the BCCI to put that little Indian flag on the helmet!  There you go, just in case you didn't know where!

It is one thing to take inspiration from a great performance, but to allow one performance to overshadow all our other failings and achievements is to say the least, dangerous.  The whole nation does not come to a standstill when Saina Nehwal is playing an important game, or when Mahesh Bhupati and Leander Paes have quietly climbed back to the #1 spot in the world, the latter actually happening today.  The whole nation does not mourn when we find that we have been cheated to the tune of 176,000 crore rupees by a minister and his cohorts.  The whole nation does not hold candle light vigils for showing up at #146 on the Human Development Index released by the UN.  It is a much sadder matter than a lot of other events that evoke reactions from our media soaked people.

We have so many examples of individual brilliance, but each of them is despite the nation being what it is, not because of it.  If anything, there are millions who will actually achieve great things if this nation stays the fuck out of the way.  The more we buy into this patriotic bullshit, the more we are supporting a dysfunctional, mediocre, backward system that encourages being mediocre and begging for freebies in exchange for votes.  Surely, our cricketers are not playing for this mass of lethargic lard.

What's all the yelling all about anyway?  The rest of India has so much unused energy, because we are not worn down to exhaustion with anything we do.  We don't need to do much to fill our stomachs, that's the truth.  We don't need to be excellent at anything to make a very good living in India.  We can even fake certificates and become pilots.  We can bribe and move anything in our favour.  We can take cover under the umbrella of slow justice even after committing murder.  We can get away with A LOT in this very tolerant junkyard called India.

Let's not stop our cricket team from getting far away from this nonsense, though!  They have already bolted far ahead!  Let them go!  Let's not weigh them down with "India!".

- BSK

The SX4 Diesel is NOT a diesel!

There is never going to be complete honesty in advertising.

There is never going to be honesty, and there is never going to be anything complete in any advertising.  But do we have to put up with total lies?

This is the ad. for the Maruti SX4 Diesel that has been on the air for a while.  Apparently, now men will make everything else wait, because it is finally here!  I am a man and I don't really give a shit, but...

But, is it really here?  Not as far as I could tell by looking at the advertisement.

The company, Maruti Udyog Ltd., their advertising agency, and the film maker are involved in this lie - projecting the SX4 Petrol as the SX4 Diesel.

The diesel variant presumably isn't much fun to drive, and is probably much less responsive than the petrol version.  Of course the petrol engine produces more power and will probably hit a higher top speed and accelerate harder.  Since the variants are not going to look that different from one another, why not make the commercial with the petrol version and tell the world that "now men will make everything wait"!  Why not show the world the petrol car and tell them it is the diesel car?

The only problem is - the advertisement shows a specific attribute that actually amounts to misleading the public.  The tachometer in the Maruti SX4 Diesel advertisement redlines at 6,500 rpm.  Here, take a look.

If this were true, this would be heady news for any production diesel engine, and all diesel enthusiasts.

So, I thought I'd have a chat with Maruti to clarify.

Welcome to Maruti Suzuki Online Customer Service.
The session has been accepted.
{SX4 Online Support}    Thank you for contacting Maruti Suzuki India Limited Interactive Chat Service. How may I assist you?
{BSK}    I'd like to know the max RPM (below red line) of the Maruti SX4.
{BSK}    Diesel, that is.
{SX4 Online Support}    Thank you for showing your interest in MSIL. We will surely provide you the information, kindly provide us your mobile number and city?
{BSK}    Mobile number is on Do Not Disturb anyway, so not important to you.
{SX4 Online Support}    We request you to kindly send us your exact contact details (phone number with STD code) to expedite your query at the earliest. However, your contact details are required to update our records.
{BSK}    How is the engine RPM of the Maruti SX4 diesel connected to my phone number?
{BSK}    All I want is a specification of your new car that is not on the website.
{SX4 Online Support}    We would request you kindly provide us your contact details so that we will assist you in much better way as your contact detail is required to update our records.
{BSK}    I have given you my name, and yours is still "SX4 Online Support". Why would I want to give you my phone number?
{SX4 Online Support}    No issue, Sir
{SX4 Online Support}    Engine Specifications of SX4 Diesel:

Type: 16 V DOHC, DDIS
Cylinders: 4
Valves: 16
Piston Displacement: 1248 cc
Engine Output 90 PS @ 4000 RPM
Torque 200 NM @ 1750 RPM
Kerb Weight 1225 Kg (VDI), 1245 kg (ZDI)
{BSK}    That still does not contain the max (below redline) RPM of the engine.
{SX4 Online Support}    Sir, we would request you to contact the nearest Maruti Suzuki Dealer showroom for more Technical Details.
{BSK}    Thanks, bye!

Since the SX4 Online Support idiot, who was drooling to get my phone number had even less information than the website contains, I did find the diesel car, and got this picture as well.

See the difference?

The diesel engine redlines at a much lower 5,000 rpm.  This means you won't be able to rev the engine like the advertisement seems to have you believe you can!

In other words, you will not get what Maruti is saying you will get in the advertisement.  In other words, they are lying bastards.

But they are also stupid.  People who want fun performance will buy the petrol version anyway.  People who buy the diesel buy it for only one thing - economy.  If I wanted to have fun, why would I pay a lot more for the diesel car and settle for LESS performance anyway?  Maybe this is the question Maruti is trying to mislead its potential customers away from?

If we are Indian, we should be used to lies and deception by now.  Right?

Fucking punks.

- BSK.

PS: The Maruti SX4 Diesel produces less power than the petrol variant, is heavier than the petrol variant, and goes slower too, in all probability, but it does produce more torque.  The engine is made by Fiat, and was not originally intended to pull such a big car either.

Our latest fashion - interference!

Very predictably, India has backed the UN Security Council sanctions on Libya.

So, we're the good guys here, and Gaddafi, is a despot and dictator, holding on to the reins of power since 1969?  We want to see the anarchy end, and peace on the streets of Libyan cities, towns and villages.

The Council on Saturday last week, voted 15 for and 0 against, to adopt Resolution 1970 - imposing a comprehensive arms embargo and a travel ban to the country of Libya, and to freeze the assets of the regime of Muammar Gaddafi, who has ruled Libya since 1969.

This is the first time a country has been unanimously referred to the International Criminal Court by the Security Council.  We backed that resolution!

And yet, according to SM Krishna, we don't want to interfere in the affairs of another sovereign nation!

What is wrong with this picture?

Since when have we become so delusional as to think our actions and our inactions don't have any consequences?  Since when did we officially decide to back the UN, when even years after the genocide in Iraq by Bush and his military, no action has been brought against that idiot?  Bush deserves to be tried in the International Criminal Court for his enormous wrongs that have left no less than 600,000 Iraqis dead.  But somehow, that wrong goes unquestioned?

India has a diplomatic mission in Libya, a fully functional one, does it not?  So, if we were completely at ease with everything that has been going on in that country for so many years, what is suddenly irking us now?  All the Indians who have been there for years have been able to do that precisely - make a living - under Gaddafi.  Now what?  All of a sudden, we realized he is the devil?

What harm has Libya done to India, now that we have decided to back sanctions against a sovereign nation that our External Affairs minister says we don't want to interfere with?  We're not interfering with them you idiot!  We're totally fucking with them.

Truth is, we, the people of India, don't know the truth on the ground in Libya.  There hasn't been terrorism and bloodshed since 1969 to fuel any nonsensical claim that Gaddafi has been clinging to power that long through brutal repression.  Libya has been a fairly free country and has been quietly going about its normal life and business.  All of a sudden, there has been a wave of anti-government protests, which the world media has been quick to pounce on and declare as the winds of change sweeping through the Middle East and Northern Africa.

In the wake of Bush's illegal and nakedly belligerent attack and invasion of Iraq, there were many, many protests in the USA.  Did we back sanctions against Bush then?  Those protests were also quashed by the US government, and Bush has also famously stolen two elections, with rigged voting machines and untold amount of corruption like no-bid contracts to Haliburton, the company in which the vice president that Dick Cheney had stakes in.  Did India openly state even once that the USA's invasion of Iraq was totally illegal?  Or that democracy was being raped in the name of fighting terror?  We ignored Dubya but are obsessed with Libya?  Why?

What is our bloody official stance in world affairs?  We haven't done a rat's ass about using our "blue water" Navy to rescue our citizens from paltry Somali pirates.  We have not done anything about one of our IIT graduates being in jail in the USA for showering his anger on Bush, and we sure as hell did not do anything about our students getting beaten regularly in Australia, except of course Krishna making this stupid statement about how he did not know our students were going there to study fashion and catering!  Like they would not have been beaten up in rough neighbourhoods if the attackers knew they were all studying to be rocket scientists!

We are indeed happy to supply soldiers to the UN, to serve in other countries on peacekeeping missions, and our soldiers do lose their lives on those jobs.  What the heck do we do this for?  Why should Kartar Singh from a village in Madhya Pradesh lose his life in a mortar attack by rebel forces in Rwanda?  How come we are happy to interfere as long as the UN is the one telling us where to interfere?

Whose line are we toeing here?  And to what end?  It is all very nice of us to pull Indian citizens out, sending planes and ships for this, and it is all very nice to see some of them expressing gratitude and pride in being Indian.  But what exactly are we accomplishing by backing sanctions against a country that has not interfered with us in any way?  On what grounds are we accepting the standpoint of the rest of the UN Security Council that Libya under Gaddafi is in some way considerably larger as a threat to world peace than the USA was under Bush?  Don't we have any objective thought processes here?  What the hell are our diplomats there for?

We as a nation do not have a standpoint.  We do not have a collective position on anything any more.  We are without a moral compass, without an objective, without a stated position on who we are and what we stand for as a people.  What can be more dangerous to the second most populous collective in the world?

We have a legitimate interest in Afghanistan's well being and we are big donors to that country.  Nothing wrong with that, whatever our strategic objectives may be, considering Pakistan lies between us and Afghanistan.  We do not send our soldiers into Afghanistan, even though the USA would love that.  The reason is more political than principle.  Our opposition would never allow this weak kneed government at the centre to send our soldiers into battles that have nothing to do with us.

More and more, under Sonia Gandhi, India is leaning towards a blind pro-West stance that is morally well below unquestionable, and clearly driven more by perception than by reality.  There is this "perception" that the UN is actually right on all issues.  This is simply not true.  Just because Barkha Dutt takes her mug and plants it in Libya, cuddling rebel forces who want "change" does not mean we should sympathize with the anti-government rebels who have no idea what that change really might mean.

What exactly do we know about Libyan people?  What do we know about how hard it must be to bring about change in that country, whether it is the form of government or the type of leader?  It is just freaking fashionable to support the West's notion that all change is good change?  Why can't we leave it to the Libyans to decide what they want?  Who are we to cuddle up to the opposition and take this notional stance that Gaddafi must go?

Our Maoists want the same kind of change in our country.  Do we tolerate them?  Imagine if China supported a travel ban and sanctions against India, and sent its reporters to cover our Maoists demanding that our government be sent home and a new India be born with Kishenji as the leader of our nation.  How preposterous it already sounds to us.  So, why can't we extend a serious ear to what Gaddafi is saying?  Why are we so presumptuously in agreement with Libya's condition as stated by the USA and the rest of the UN coterie?

Libyan opposition forces captured British secret agents who came to "help" them!  http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/article1514543.ece  This is hilarious, because it clearly sends out the signal - "Don't show up, outsiders!".  In fact, it screams a Libyan will to block all interference from outside.  The opposition is furious, for this kind of intervention will make it look like this revolution is fuelled from the outside!  Brilliant!  So, why are we showing up there?  And why the heck are our news channels so proud about trumpeting who got there first?  The first to be super stupid?  Heck, that's something I'd try to hide!  India, clueless and directionless as always.

Many Indians who lived in Iraq swear to this day that Saddam Hussein's rule was the best in its history.  Iraq was a progressive country, flourishing in education, commerce, and even the arts.  Indians were treated well, and the country was doing fine.  Then came its darkest period - becoming the USA's enemy.  Many of us Indians do not even know what sparked Iraq's attack on Kuwait.

Kuwait was illegally pumping more oil than it was allowed to, thereby unfairly pushing Iraq's oil price down.  Kuwait had been allowed a 5 year period when it could pump above its quota of oil output in order to build its economy after a collapse.  Well beyond this time, Kuwait continued to pump in excess of its quota.  American and British companies were the beneficiaries and despite Saddam Hussein's several warnings, and pleas, the "world" ignored him.  He even said he would attack Kuwait's oil installations if this continued, and it did.  That is how the first Gulf War came about.

The world's largest media outlets are either owned by or controlled by people and organizations that are vested in the Western point of view.  Rupert Murdoch cannot be beaten as the most blatant symbol of media backing vital political interests.  Suffice to say, the biggest noise in the Indian media today, certainly in TV, is being made by interests that lean well towards the USA and its embarrassingly simplistic view of the world.  Barkha Dutt is the shrill parrot that exemplifies this attitude.  Sheer incompetence shamelessly cloaked in self righteousness.  Both should be unacceptable to any country aiming for true progress.

We Indians have become far too convenience trained.  We do not have a culture of critical thinking anymore.  We would rather put our minds on something enjoyable rather than being curious about what is going on in the world around us.  Libya is also standing up in our attention because we have been told to pay attention to it.  There is nothing more "happening" right now, apart from the thousands of crores of our wealth being stashed by crooks supported by the government without any prosecutions so far.  Libya is replacing our attention that should also be on a major slip involving the selection of the Chief Vigilance Commissioner.  Libya is playing the role of a classical decoy, but this role has been assigned by our media.

Nobody in the Indian media is even questioning the absence of the counterpoint on this Libya issue.  Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's president, is a shining example of standing by principle.  He has come out in support of Gaddafi, called him a friend, and condemned the design to invade Libya as "madness".  He has also called for international mediation.  "Mediation" not "sanctions".  Who is being dictatorial here?  The UN or Chavez?  Where is this counterpoint in this so called FREE DEMOCRACY called India?  Are we so blinded by our perceived loyalty to the USA and its allies that we don't even feel the necessity to balance our viewpoint?

Most of all, why are we buying into this crap that democracy is the solution to the future of the world?  Taking our own country as an example, democracy is not working.  Our country is being looted, and social programs to not reach the needy.  Our kings, ALL of them dictators, did a much better job of delivering justice and maintaining peace and fostering prosperity.  A benevolent dictatorship is a much better, more proven and reliable form of government.  Why does democracy deserve such a vulgar level of promotion when its record is dismal?

If the USA were to have its way, we'd have another war soon.  The USA is talking about striking and taking out Libya's air capabilities.  Who the fuck is the USA to talk about a "no fly zone" over Libya?  And why are we not vehemently opposing it?  If we want to play a "global" role of some sort, we should start by defining what we stand for.  We can't be showing up fully decked in our pomp at parties we are not invited to.  We look silly enough already.

India, please wake up!  Let's mind our own business, please.  There is plenty of it.

- BSK.

Is North India lawless?

Ask a good question and you will usually get a good answer.

CNN IBN for all its incompetence and shrillness, finally asked a good question -
















And got the answer, rather clearly.









Well!  Shit!

I have been saying this for years and finally it has dawned upon these fools in the media that most of Northern India is uncultured, boorish, and in many ways, not even fit for human existence.

Now, of course that doesn't mean there are no decent, cultured North Indians.  We know that.

But 88% of people responding to a poll like this saying "North India is lawless" is pretty revealing.  It is pretty hard to describe boorish behaviour, but if women get molested every single day, raped fairly regularly, people get killed for the stupidest reasons.... here, take a look at a few of them...

... then we know the North of India is a pretty screwed up place for humans.

So before we bash the Northies, let's give them credit where it is due.  It is true North Indians are more enterprising than South Indians.  Many risk takers in new areas of commerce are North Indians, much less their Southern brothers and sisters.  Chances are, their brothers and sisters in the South have a little better education and are able to get good jobs, but ANY North Indian enterprise is likely to be bigger, better thought out, able to weather storms, and likely to survive for the long run.  Kudos Northies!  You can't be beaten there.

It is true more North Indians join the armed forces than South Indians.  But, wait a minute!  What better place to be boorish, violent, uncultured, and outright stupid than the armed forces?  And be appreciated for it!  A lot of being in the services is just about being mindlessly obedient.  That's all it takes to fit in.  Especially for the majority of the lower ranks, which by the way are the majority of the armed forces.

Yeah, yeah, I know this is not a very patriotic thing to say.  I'm not a patriot, and would never claim to be one in this sort of company, but is stealing land from war widows patriotic?  Check out the officers who are all being pulled up for major corruption - all North Indians, EVEN in the Army!  Are you kidding me?

Let us not get into this argument that feeding the stereotype is not going to help the cause, and that India is India.  Well, no!  88% boors is North India, not India.  There is no smoke without fire.  The smoke is the stereotype, the fire is the reality - freaking 88% say so!  This is a freaking democracy, and clearly, this is not a poll booth you bastards managed to capture.

Let's not even go far enough to describe the despicable animals that come into North Indian politics, some of them even into national prominence.  We know where the most backward states of India are.  If the whole of India got independence at the same time, and the whole of India has the same judicial, administrative, commercial, and electoral structures, what can be the possible reason for NONE of the Southern states being backward, and for just two states in North India to have more poor people than all the countries in Sub Saharan Africa?

Why has the journey of the last 62 years been so different for the North and the South?  Clearly, it comes down to the people.  At some point, we should take responsibility for who we are.  If most incidences of violence, crime, brazen violations of the law and so on occur in the North, clearly this is a problem with people who live there.

So what is it in the culture of North Indians that makes them so boorish, and outright backward?  Delhi, the national capital is a disgrace for the number of crimes against women it throws up year after year.  These fools on CNN IBN even discussed this issue as being one of lack of identity, that Delhi "welcomes" people from all over India, but since there is such a diverse mix of people there, people of Delhi don't have their own "identity", and hence, no "culture".  Sure, so let's gang rape a girl and get some identity.  Are you freaking serious?

Violence comes from a quarreling nature.  Quarrels are for people who cannot argue.  Arguments take intelligence.  See the connection?  It might take some intelligence to see the connections too, so don't try too hard if you can't.  Bengaluru also has a very diverse population, since it also has "welcomed" people from all over India.  People aren't killing each other in Bengaluru, at least, not yet.  And most people in Bangalore who have seen its more culturally rooted days don't really complain about its pubs or girls that dress provocatively.  They are quite open about cursing the "North Indians" that have spoiled Bengaluru.  I am yet to see any evidence, to be honest, about any North Indian doing any specific damage to anything that belongs to Bengaluru.  Maybe in some cases, there is smoke without fire!  Unlikely, but worth examining.

In a city like Kathmandu, there is no real reason for any perceptional difference between North Indians and South Indians.  But check into any hotel there and see the marked difference in service you get if you are a South Indian and the staff come to know.  It is special.  Get to know them a bit better and they will tell you North Indians are rude, and they don't really care for them!  A bad name in a country that is much poorer and backward than India?  You fucking boorish Northies, that takes some doing.

Ask any foreigner who has visited India and has had a torrid time and invariably you will hear, that person visited the North, not the South of India.

Of course, we keep hearing the silly, retarded and now boring nonsense that Hindi is the national language of India.  Even CNN IBN itself is guilty of propagating that lie. http://backwardindia.blogspot.com/2010/03/padma-shris-to-anti-national-elements.html.  But many North Indians actually believe this to be the truth.

Violence and boorish behaviour isn't about male testosterone expressing itself.  This is about stupidity refusing to give itself up.  It is a situation where boorishness is considered an asset.  It is where being an aggressive male, prone to violence, is considered a positive trait.  It is not necessarily that intellectual pursuit is ignored, just that an emotional maturity seems to get the back seat in this proudly stupid North Indian environment.

CNN IBN is not South Indian.  It is boorish too.  We have a challenge of rising prices at the moment in India, but on CNN IBN, it is a "War" on price rise.  WAR?  Is there an armed conflict?  Where is the freaking battlefield?  The battlefield is in the minds of the idiots who work in this environment, who need to put their testosterone into their work.  Their bosses are the biggest suppliers of this boorish mentality - the USA!  They're the freaks who declare WAR on anything they cannot win against!  War on drugs!  War on terror!  War on obesity!  How about War on stupidity?  WAR is what results when all other solutions to differences have been given up.  In other words, it is when creativity and intellect and the ability to negotiate have all been exhausted.  It is when the power of the human spirit is at its nadir.  With CNN IBN this seems to happen rather quickly, just like the North Indian problem.  So, it cannot be "The Price Rise Challenge", or "India Rising? Or only Prices?", it has to be "WAR" - an inherently uncreative, base, low attitude towards life and its numerous challenges. 

What's next?  A War On North India?

- BSK.

So sorry we're shitty!

It is now official - AR Rahman has apologized for "letting people down" with his song for the Commonwealth Games.  Apparently, he is proud of the composition and the anthem.  No artist should have to apologize to anybody for having attracted criticism from any quarter, but what composition is he talking about?  And what anthem?

What he produced for the CW Games was just plain rubbish.  It was sub standard trash and it stood out glaringly.  He did not do anything great for Slumdog Millionaire either, but white guys loved it and gave him two Oscars, so that was enough for our dumb (m)asses to cheer him on!  Looks like not many even made the attempt to find out Rahman's "Jai Ho" was originally put together for another producer for another film and then plugged into Slumdog Millionaire!  Still good enough to win an Oscar!

The Oscar for best song is usually a joke, and it should not take too much research to find what kind of rubbish this category generally attracts.  Heard Howard Shore's number for Lord of the Rings?  It didn't even feature in the movie, but yes, it won the Oscar too!  This category is in itself a joke, but for us Indians, two is always better than one, and coming from whitey, one is better than ALL we have from all non-whiteys!

Now, read this news item from The Hindu.

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/article832718.ece

This clown Rahman has apparently got great feedback from Australia, England, and all "those" places where they heard the song!  Sure, they even understood everything in Hindi, loved the beefcake dancers prancing around in designer cheap white see through outfits with green and saffron gloves, and could not get enough of Rahman's singing to the sky.  But wait a minute!  They are WHITE people who loved this fucking song!  So, how can we criticize Rahman?

How can we suddenly think the Commonwealth Games is an Indian affair, just because it was hosted by India, and 70,000 crores of Indian Rupees were spent for this extravaganza, just because this was supposed to showcase our ability to host such big events?  How can it be important to satisfy Indian audiences for just 5 crores as payment?  This is all about showing how good we are to whitey, whitey mighty whitey!

Sarcasm apart, I have never seen any Indian artist lick whitey ass as much as Rahman.  The reason he doesn't get that kind of exotic adulation from Indians is because he is really no great shit and many of us know it.  His music is uninspiring crap most often, and by law of averages, good sound engineering, great processing, and sublime packaging, Rahman can come up with something that "works" once in a while.  Frequently enough to keep him in the news.  And average enough to sell.  Quality is a hard sell, so why even go there?

For whitey, however, who is just discovering popular Indian creative output, Ilayaraja is still not accessible.  Rahman is the McDonalds variety that is ready off the shelf.  Perfect!  So, of course they celebrate him.  Ask those geniuses if they even know the music of RD Burman, the incredible talent of Kishore Kumar or Lata Mangeshkar, leave alone Jesudas or Janaki.  We haven't even started with our purely classical performers, if you noticed.  Our classical musicians do not give a shit, because they are all true artists.  They do almost no self promotion, and are too absorbed with their work.  That is why they have to be "discovered".  To mention a few here would be to mock the rest.  They are all gods in an unbelievably exalted pantheon - and it would take someone like the Beatles to even scratch the surface of that.

Is it still difficult for us to see this scam artist who isn't worth shit?  Are we deaf?  Certainly not.  And this waking up is exactly what happened with the Commonwealth Games!  There was no whitey to tell us all too soon that Rahman was God!  We had to hear his shit for ourselves and use our own brains that were asking us all along, "Is this fucker really that good?"!  NO!  He was never really "that" good, from any yardstick used to measure this nincompoop pretender.  That is the point.  He is a product of great management, not one of mercurial talent coming to the fore!

Great music is what evokes the accurate emotion, ecstasy or agony, puts us in the right place as intended by the composer.  In movies, this is for supporting the director's vision.  When songs are played lovingly years later, regardless of what happened to the memories of the movies, that is a very special accomplishment.  Rahman had something going with Roja, a bit with Lagaan, and when really forced to work hard and deliver, with a handful of other films including Rangeela.  These are the directors who make him work, not worship him.  Check out a film called "Karuthamma" if you really want to see how well disco beats work in a Tamil rural movie.  Check out the theme song the same fool came out with for the World Tamil Conference.  If you aren't deaf, you'd wish you were.

So why doesn't he produce something like the best he has produced so far?  Well, shit!  Too much competition there.  He is clever enough to make his own niche, hence the first run from Chennai to Mumbai and when the novelty has worn out even there, now onwards to Hollywood.  They're broke so they'll buy anything cheap right now.  If it is brown skinned with two Oscars, ride the exotic buzz!!

"All my life I had a choice between hate and love. I chose love and I am here," said Rahman after his second Oscar. What hate? What love?  Overwhelmed by whitey's generosity, this is what can come out of a rank simpleton in flashy clothes!  Awkward and insincere - duh!  Exactly what his music almost always is.  But he spoke about choosing "love" and how it has brought him here.  Like an Oscar award is the greatest thing a musician can possibly aspire for!  This damn Oscar is now a phallic aspiration for most Indian producers and directors.  It is the ultimate sense of belonging with the best in the world!  Indeed American cinema has produced some stalwarts and Shankar will never be as good a director as James Cameron, forget Terrence Malick or Spielberg.  To a film maker, this is still a legitimate aspirational goal.  But to a musician?  Come on!

Rahman has no place in any collective of greatness - plain and simple.  The fucker should not even be allowed in the same arenas as the masters, to perform his garbage.  We don't even need to criticize the fact that he copies a lot.  He isn't even good enough to twist that to something great.  He has this one dimensional but easily sold thematic approach of "enthuse, lift up, be patriotic, and sing to the sky", that is wearing real thin.  Now, he's apologizing?  Jai Ho!  Oh, yeah, just in case the ONLY song he made for the CW games was not enough value for money, he performed Jai Ho too!  This guy is fast becoming an expert at looking out of place.

Bollywood is still that exotic beast to most of Hollywood.  There are enough and more morons there who will take to this, in much the way they will take to Indian food.  They will never get to taste anything authentic, but a fair bit of what we choose to export.  Rahman is export material.  In this case, not good enough for us, but good enough for the white consumer.  He is easy to sell, just like a dosa can sell if called an "Indian crepe".  God bless him for all the good this brings him, but please let's see him for what he really is - an average performer who's running on empty and pretending like his tank is full.  Jai Ho!  Otha odi po!

BSK.

PS: Spitting is feedback, in its truest sense.

The Opening Ceremony Comedy Show!

Whoever asked for these bloody Commonwealth Games?

Why does our wonderful former president Mr. Abdul Kalam have to have his name twisted to Abdul Kalam Azad by a fumbling idiot called Kalmadi?  Why does that same idiot have to talk about a "Prince Diana" attending these games, when she is neither alive nor was ever a prince?  Was this idiot even awake while he was filling the microphone with his unprofessional filth?

Why do we have Doordarshan doing something it was never meant to do - covering something live that moves more than its mouth?

This idiot Kalmadi never mentioned athletes amongst the people he extended his "Namaskar" to.  For a guy who is reading from a piece of paper, the least he could do was make sure he doesn't swallow words like "Association".  He said, "Assoshun" a few times.  Clearly he isn't cut out for reading a speech, or mouthing one either.  He couldn't do much about falling bridges either.

If an airline pilot with the same level of incompetence performed the equivalent of these tasks in his job, the plane would nosedive, throw its doors open mid-air, choke most of its passengers, catch fire, turn upside down and mow into a hill in a fireball. 

Who are these clowns still running that embarrassment of a television channel called Doordarshan?  Couldn't they get anybody better than the idiots who were reading out names of countries from the screen, telling us of their populations, and when each country got its independence?  Isn't that in itself a reminder of the dark side of the whole "Commonwealth" idea?!  I wish they had shown the Brit royals each time we were told about each country's independence from them!  I wish we had the humour to be told how many years each country had been looted for by her royal bitching highness BEFORE they got independence.  Instead, we were told to notice how "happy!" Prince Charles was, when the Wales contingent showed up.  To me, the prick and his entourage looked the same when other contingents showed up too.

How much of a genius would it take to see "swimming" below the flag bearer's name and figure out that that person is a swimmer?  Do we really need to have someone telling us that person is an "athlete" when we can read "athletics" below his or her name?  Who else is going to show up at a sporting event?  A fortune teller?

"Here comes Kenya!  All the way from Africa!".  Seriously, where else the fuck would the Kenyan contingent come from?  Jupiter?  Who are these juveniles telling us which country's flag is what colour and informing us, just in case, of this marvel of a projection system that projects the same flag on the aerostat for the same country!  Hurrah!  We got that right!  What kind of fucking nonsense is this?  This is not Doordarshan in its year of inception either.  The CW Games may be a first, (and hopefully last) for India, but these idiots with the exclusive rights to telecast the CWG have been around for a long, long time.  Should they not know their job a little better?

We were also told that the magnificent drummers below were beating the crap out of their contraptions to keep the athletes happy.  No shit.  I would have thought they were frightening stray lions.  Even worse - we never got to hear those drums, because we were filled in with an incessant electronic drumbeat that ran right through the programme.  Horrible, unless we got Energizer to sponsor that shit.

Why the fuck do we still refer to Charles as His Royal Highness?  He may be to his own people, but not to US!  Isn't that the whole POINT of being an independent country?  None of the assholes in New Delhi seem to know yet.

And why is Charles talking about peace all over the world?  Didn't the Brits send their military monkeys including one of Charlie's sons, to participate in the greatest bomb shag of all time in modern history in Iraq?  Peace be damned if it is a Muslim country?  Bloody hypocrite son of a bitch.

Who writes these goddamn speeches?  "Over the next few days - thousands of athletes will take part in competition" - this came from Pratibha Patil, no less than the President of India.  "And my dictionary has thousands of words!".  DUH!

Everybody spoke of challenges and how they were overcome.  Anybody with a brain bigger than a pea will know that there were NO challenges, just incompetence.  If New Delhi was hit by an earthquake measuring 7.4 on the Richter scale, and Kalmadi had to dig himself out of a pile of rubble, drinking urine for 12 days, THAT would have been a challenge.  Incomplete building structures and falling bridges are not challenges - they are FAILURES! 

A bridge the army built in 6 days stands in place of what could have been built 6 years ago and collapsed.  This is not a challenge overcome.  This is a rescue act pulled off by professionals.

How have we finally made this event a mega showcase of our delusional powers?  How we can fool ourselves that this is some sort of success!  We are spending 70,000 crores and making 450 crores.  So, this cannot be about money.

If this is about pride, what pride do we need to salvage from Tuvalu, Solomon Islands, St. Vincent and The Grenadines, Lesotho, Malawi, Nauru and a whole host of insignificant countries?  Sure, we can showcase this to the other "significant" countries, as our grand spectacle, but seriously, who gives a shit about a country that has more people living below the poverty line than Sub Saharan Africa?

This is also touted as the first "Green" Commonwealth Games.  Hello?  It's getting its electricity entirely from fossil fuel burning National Thermal Power Corporation. (Who in their own words are "one of the world's cleanest fossil fuel power generator", not "generators".  Bad English be damned for now)  Who the fuck are we fooling here?  Why even utter painfully untruthful rubbish like this?  I mean, is the greatest opposition to these games coming from the environmental lobby?

Put all rubbish before our people, beat the drums, do the dance and say JAI HIND!  And all is well.  No fucking questions asked.

On and on our speeches poured out - ".....diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture.  I am sure you will all experience it."  NO!  What people will experience is what is available to them.  There won't be any diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture in the stadium or the village.  It will be all security, security, security.

The cultural part - we're fail proof - we have professionals there!  It's a good thing there is no quota for Bharatnatyam dancers and Kalari performers.  Duds are likely to kill themselves if unleashed in these arenas.  All good, nice to see.  It doesn't matter how many people understand what is being sung - at the very least we will sing it right.  But Oh, Lord!  Chaiya Chaiya???  It's a tribute to the common man?  Which common man dances on trains with sexy women?  If there was one, he would have been danced, not Shah Rukh Khan!

Did I just say we are fail proof with the cultural part?  So I am contradicting myself here?  Whoever said Bollywood was part of our culture?  It is a rowdy beast we have ready for all occasions.  For some reason, we showcased a cycle shop.  Okay.  Then we had politicians campaigning - all part of the Indian landscape one supposes.  Fine.  But all dancing to Chaiya Chaiya?  How the fuck is this a tribute to anything except mediocre unimaginative programming?  Mumbai Dabbawalas, with paint dabbas!  Fine!  The masala chai?  Okay.  How about showcasing some rapes, molestation in public, burning brides for dowry, illegal mining, and some shitting in the open too!?  Oh, we already showed that in the village!

For some reason, right on live television, Two girls fell down doing some acrobatic standing on men's shoulders.  Poor things.  I hope they got paid for the show they tried to put on.

The biggest of the uncultural, demented, gimmicky clown shows has to be A R Rahman.  And who are all those barbaric assholes dancing behind him all the time?  Who are those idiots he had behind him with saffron and green gloves and muscular bodies in white chiffon?  Bloody beefcakes on the entertainment industry unemployment list?  They looked like thugs to me, and do not represent anything but the most mindless things we put together in the name of entertainment.  They did not look one bit Indian to me, nor did the stupid song sound Indian.  Sure it sounded like Rahman, but was it in any way fit for the show?  Whatever happened to Balamurali Krishna and Ilayaraja?  They would have put on something magnificent and they would not bow to his royal freaking eyeness as well.  Does anybody in the Organizing Commitee even know the real geniuses we have?  Heck, Bappida would have belted out something fantastic.

As if the CW song wasn't bad enough, Rahman the copycat had to perform Jai Ho! What the fuck for?  The idiot has made this song his go to song.  If all else fails, he throws this on your face with that, "I got the Oscar for this.  What the fuck do you know?" attitude and regularity.  He got paid 5 crores for repeating his old shit?

India, thy middle name used to be mediocrity.  Now, thou art, from every part, oozing it. 

We're losing it.

BSK.

PS: In hindsight, there was plenty of comedy during the Opening Ceremony.  Even beyond all the agony, one had to be swayed by the sheer scale of cacophonic insult unleashed upon us.

The VERDICT - you cannot have the truth!

The BJP today condemned Home Minister Chidambaram's statement that the famous Ayodhya title suit verdict of the Allahabad High Court has nothing to do with the demolition of the Babri Masjid which remains a criminal act.  The BJP does not want the Home Minister to say something like this, because the matter is before the court.  Apparently, an act of vandalism that ends in the destruction of a historical monument, is not obvious enough for the BJP to accept someone calling it a criminal act, even if it were a matter of opinion.

Despite the hope we can have in the Supreme Court, the most dangerous precedent has however, been set by the Allahabad High Court.  By giving even the slightest legitimacy to matters of faith, it has chosen belief over truth, by deciding not to go purely with facts.  The "verdict" - to split the disputed land in 3, equally, amongst the litigants disputing its ownership, is in itself, perhaps the most uncontroversial settlement it could have prescribed, but that sort of "commonsense wisdom" is meant for people's courts, not for a high court.

The "law" as we have subscribed to, by being a democratic nation, is written in letters, not in beliefs, and not in our judgement of how the verdicts may play with emotions and feelings of communities too vested in their beliefs. The court is equipped to deal with facts, not beliefs.  If someone now comes up with an empirical evidence to disprove the existence of God, then what happens?  Our legal systems should be impervious to these situations.

Where are the facts that can establish to whom this land belongs?  What do we do if we cannot arrive at those facts?  Simply ask for more evidence, it is that simple.  Wait until the evidence shows up and if it does not, rule in favour of status quo and throw out the litigation(s).  That is all a court has to do.  Has the Allahabad High Court done that?  It has gone a step further, without fulfilling its fundamental duty.  It has chosen, very strangely, to bring a settlement into play, without making the law take its course.  It has chosen to quell the "problem", instead of ending the dispute.

This "settlement" verdict, even more bizarrely, is the sort of thing that much lower courts, like Panchayat courts, resort to.  That is the expectation there, and they are immensely qualified to do so, through an informal jury that usually know the parties in the dispute rather well, and the entrusting of the judgement is left to some wise "counsel", usually the older citizens of a village.  These are the courts that order stripping people naked, honour killings, revenge rapes, public humiliation, and other inhuman punishments, that are clearly unconstitutional and highly illegal.

The courts of the more formal legal "system" have lawyers, to interpret, clarify, and sometimes enforce the "law".  It is a very rational profession, that depends on volumes of "Indian Law" that many are students and practitioners of.  It is an evolving set of laws, but at any given point in time, "Indian Law" exists as an edict in written form.  God is not called upon to enforce it.  Our law enforcement agencies are.  If we were to consider beliefs, religious sentiments and such irrational subjects in a court sworn to uphold the "law", we should have religious leaders, psychics, tantriks, priests, mullahs and such working in courts, not lawyers, advocates and judges!

In its most fundamental essence, the job of a court is to uphold the "law", not even attempt to deliver "justice" even as it pronounces judgement.  If there is no evidence, the alleged murderer walks free!  How many times have we seen this happen?  It is the only way the "law" works.  If the law is found inadequate to deal with a certain dispute, the case rests, sometimes indefinitely.

We as a nation, have unwittingly, stepped onto the slippery slope of legitimizing the irrational and given it the status of equal consideration with objective truths.  For this alone, we will have to pay a very heavy price.  "Satyameva Jayate" is not true in this case, do we even realize?

By the precedent set by this verdict, credibility is given to events that supposedly took place hundreds of years before INDIA came into existence, on the 15th of August 1947.  The title suit itself is only about who the 2.7acres of land in Ayodhya belongs to, but the three way split laid out by the "verdict", based on some place of worship having existed there many hundred years ago, over which supposedly another place of worship was built, also years before India came into existence, borders on absolute madness.  Even more bizarrely, madness is what is supposedly being avoided right now by this immature "compromise".

This was never about Hinduism or Islam or what people believe in.  This should always have been about the law of the land.  What if somebody gets it into their head now, that their ancestors' temple or an entire civilization's ancestral, historical or religious wealth is buried beneath the Parliament building?  How about beneath the Rashtrapathi Bhavan or the Taj Mahal?  Shall we demolish these buildings and wait for another verdict to tell us whether that is criminal or not?  Clearly there is no end to this kind of nonsense.

What would it take for the nation to please step away from juvenile utterances of "India First" and other such nonsense, and take note that what is under attack here is not the freedom to have beliefs, or practise religion, but the very basis of what a "nation" stands for?  The Constitution of India does not have a "God" concept in it.  It is a very mature document, and one that we have all, by being citizens of India, by choice or by rude or convenient destiny, subscribe to.  We swear allegiance to this document each time we use Indian currency, apply for a passport, or show our identity to avail a service.  All this exists, because we, the bona fide citizens of this collective called "India", have chosen to define ourselves by writing down (not believing in) what constitutes and defines India.  This very definition is under attack here now that we are opening the doors for revisionist historians armed with useless rhetoric, beliefs, dogma, and an inarticulate sense of being "Indian" that is clearly not recognizable by our Constitution.

It might be very challenging for some of us to even get involved with an issue of this nature, to even invest the thought to understand what is at play here.  Surely, there have been no riots, so this must be a good thing?  By that logic, it must be a good thing that hundreds of our women are getting raped on a daily basis, children kidnapped and sold, and spurious medicines are killing thousands of us.  Heck, no riots!

This is about the whole idea of a "nation" that is being challenged here, and the Allahabad High Court, somehow, right now, has chosen to do what it should have recommended for the three litigants to do in an out of court settlement, and fallen well below applying the law of this land to clearly state the ownership of the piece of land, which was, by the way, never split in its ownership in any time in history!

What do we stand for as a nation?  Do we take our laws seriously?  Do we respect our Constitution?  Do our leaders stand for the oaths they take?  Do we have ANYTHING at all that is sacred to us as citizens of this nation?  If we say "yes" to any of the above, then we must realize that religion is at best a personal matter, and even when it is a matter of community, it still cannot be given enough legitimacy to become a matter of the nation.

If we are about to embark upon a mission to right all the wrongs of Indian history, why don't we agree to agree to smash every structure that stands today to see what lies beneath?  Surely, this would bring ALL truths from our past out in the open, and we can build a new India, maybe even a shining one, from scratch!  Our lawyers would be delighted with millions of lawsuits!  They might actually have to ask for God's help to handle the sheer volume of work!

Please be disturbed.  Be very, very disturbed if you understand the gravity of this new issue - of the judiciary choosing to mete out a settlement instead of the truth it should always pursue.  Who are we going to rely on now to uphold the law?

BSK.