Why I don't trust Baba Ramdev.

When I was a kid, my friends and I used to ransack other people's gardens for fruit.  We loved the thrill of it, and we ate a lot of fruit.  We were always ready for action, and we were a menace in the neighbourhood, but people put up with us.  It's not "legal" to steal other people's fruits, but a group of mischievous boys who carried no real malice clearly could be allowed to carry out some "illegal" activities.  But, those times passed, and none of us turned out to be thieves as we grew up.

Today, for some reason, a lot of adults in India ARE okay with much more blatant, dangerous, and clearly malicious and malignant levels of illegality.  They have no problem paying bribes, breaking traffic rules, and staying absolutely mute to a lot of wrong that goes on.  They have no problem cheating with their ration cards, no problem evading taxes, and no problem looting crores of rupees from the nation's exchequer.  Where do these people come from?

What I remember from my friends as a kid is that we were always happy.  Sure we got into trouble once in a while, but we didn't have too much to worry about.  I also remember that we had a lot in common - we signed on to the same ideas of "fun", and we had no hidden agendas.  Most importantly, we stood by each other and understood each other's perils and challenges.  On a raid, we could trust one another.  Success or failure, we were there together, to try again!

This is where I have a problem with this bearded troublemaker Baba Ramdev.  I don't trust him.  I like the fact that he is making trouble, and I like the fact that he's got a lot of fools riled up with his demands against corruption.  But he isn't one of us, folks.  In fact, he's very much like the guys we're fighting against - wealthy, well connected, and powerful.  Imagine if a thirty five year old father of two wanted to go on a fruit raid with us ten year olds.  You think we'd take him along for the ride?  Of course not!  He has no business coming along with us.

This Baba Ramdev has planes to fly him wherever he wants, more than a thousand crore rupees in money, an island somewhere in Scotland, and a whole lot of followers who are willing to give him money.  He has highly qualified people to advise him, legally and financially, and he has a bit of an "empire".  Is this the guy who would be under pressure if asked to pay a bribe to get an apartment registered in his name?  Is this the guy who will stand for hours in line to get something done at some government office with me?  I don't think so.  He doesn't need the same things I do, at a fundamental human level.

He wants all black money stashed abroad to be brought back to India.  The task is noble, but the demand is not just naive, it is outright stupid, because it is steeped against a looming fast unto death.  If this money has ever been quantified, or identified as belonging to such and such persons, we would have to initiate criminal proceedings against such persons, then declare them guilty, inform international law enforcement agencies such as Interpol, then ask respective governments of these tax haven countries to initiate transfer of funds.  This is a precise process, and if a nobody like me can know what is involved, someone who is asking for that money to be brought back to India must actually ask for this process to be set under way, not just scream for the money to come back.  Clearly, this guy is not very well informed and he doesn't present himself effectively.  No leader.

I still stand by his right to protest peacefully, gather with any number of people anywhere, and make his demands to the government.  But if he is important enough for cabinet ministers to receive at the airport, and important enough to be on the news making the Prime Minister and the government in power so nervous, we better know who this bum is.  To me, an ill informed, unthinking, flashy, religious, dodgy, attention seeking noise maker is just a bum.

So, who IS Baba Ramdev?  He is no Anna Hazare.  He has no record of public service.  He isn't qualified in any way to lead any enterprise.  But he has an empire.  How?  He isn't a famous philosopher to have changed the way we perceive the world and the universe.  He is not a great teacher either as far as I know.  He sure as hell did not make his empire charging fees for yoga lessons.  So what is his enterprise?  I am all for yoga teachers getting into public service, and that is not my problem.  The problem is, I don't know this guy well enough to let him represent me or any other Indian.  So, I don't want him speaking for me.  It is that simple.

His followers being many Indians cannot automatically make him the leader of many other Indians.  His followers follow him for being the Baba, but Ramdev is who we don't know much about.  Any Baba has followers, but not many of them can lead something they don't know much about.  We're talking about the nation of India here.  Baba Ramdev wants Hindi to replace English.  Anybody who respects the Constitution of India and who is not a fool knows Hindi is not the national language of India.  It irks me that after so many years of being a democracy, our public education level is so low that many, even political leaders, talk as if Hindi is the national language of India.

Now, he's called for an armed rebellion.  He says he has a force of 11,000 people trained in the art of self-defence.  Fair enough.  But defence against what?  Against our police forces?  You don't need anything too sophisticated to take on our cops.  Just post a couple of women journalists with video cameras, and all our cops will behave rather well.  The only reason this police raid on this Baba's camp occurred at midnight was because media was asleep at the time.  This Baba is going crazy, and this "sena" reminds me of the raid on the Babri Masjid - flat out trouble.  It is the same monkeys that are backing this fool now.

The RSS and the BJP are his friends.  The RSS is political, and so is the BJP.  What is a yogi doing with the support of political entities?  If something is political, it is not automatically corrupted, but there is plenty of historical record for us to worry about.  The India I know and respect sometimes is secular, and does not lean towards any religion or political mindset.  So, what does this Baba Ramdev represent?  I'm not sure it is a healthy, vibrant, democratic, secular, forward thinking India.  He talks of "shaastra" (knowledge) and "shastra" (weapons).  What might be next?  "Sati"?  I hope not, but this guy can surprise anyone!

This is a prime example of how democracy can throw up lunatics who are free to do everything, including making asses of themselves - and others who follow him.  What he is clearly doing here is protesting against the very government our own people voted for!  He thinks we should be up in arms against the people we put in office?  This is as anti-nationalistic as it gets!

This call for "swadeshi" when he flies in a foreign made aeroplane (which he himself by the way, exempts from his "swadeshi" list!), using foreign oil, owning an island in Scotland, and with a thousand other violations of the already outdated principle of "swadeshi" just make him an outdated lunatic to me.

He is not shy of theatrics, attracting attention to himself, doing stunts like dressing up like a woman to escape detection - there's an element of drama in him.  But, anyone who mixes his religion and his politics, for whatever gain, is in my opinion an untrustworthy rascal.  This is a secular country, and all religions are indeed welcome, but personal.  So far, he hasn't spoken about his god, and that's a plus, but there is far too much saffron in his support group.

The bigger reason I resent this fool, even while giving him credit where it is due is this - after more than sixty years of being a nation, after reaching a point where we should be taking up an excellent place amongst the league of nations, after all the advancements we have made, is this Baba Ramdev the best face we could come up with to fight against corruption?

None of these misgivings should rob from this man, however, his right to speak his mind, gather with people, or start a movement.  He should not have been evicted or thwarted from doing anything that is not a law and order threat.  I do think however, that this man has some sort of power over people in government.  I don't need to know what that power is, but he does attract an awful lot of attention from many bigwigs.  Maybe he knows some of their dirty secrets?  Maybe he sells a powerful aphrodisiac?  He did try to export some medicines to the USA that were stopped by the Food and Drug Administration there!  This is one hell of an active monkey!  I wouldn't vote for him, or endorse his ways, but I would like to see him around.  He is just too much fun!

-  BSK.

Cannes and Cannots.

No Indian film has gone to Cannes this year.

The only film going from India is made by a Sri Lankan director called Vimukthi Jayasundara, called "Ghatak" and Vimukthi is Sri Lankan.

But we have sent Sonam Kapoor to "walk" the red carpet, and she has the wishes of Deepika Padukone that walked the damn thing last year.  Two years ago, Aishwarya Rai got mad that Sonam was going to walk that same red carpet where she goes every year to sell her perfume or deodorant or soap or whatever for that company she endorses.  This is what we get our idiots to go to Cannes for.

If I made a lousy cake, I would not go anywhere near a cake baking competition.  If I couldn't run fast, I wouldn't go anywhere near a running race.  If I didn't look good, I wouldn't enter a beauty pageant.  So, what is it with movies?  We make totally shitty movies, that even our audiences don't want to watch that much, but for some reason, these bozos from Bollywood, well, mostly from Bollywood, have no problem going to Cannes just to rub shoulders with some better film makers.  Don't these shitheads have any shame?  Or maybe they don't even know good cinema!  Wonder which is worse.

Listen to this Sonam Kapoor talk - it is all about the dress she is going to wear.  Fair enough.  She doesn't have much else to carry to Cannes.  That Rai woman has been going for years, and apparently it is a "dream team" to be on that red carpet with Eva Longoria and Lucy Liu!  God, can anybody NOT see that this is a way for that perfume company or deodorant company to cover all races and nothing else?  Okay, these three are old hags now, but what about young Sonam?  Why should she get sucked into this shit?

Because she can't find any real work.  By real work, I mean, finding a real movie to do, one that has a script and some integrity.  Her Dad Anil Kapoor apparently gave her a pen, according to an advertisement he features in.  Like he is some incredible achiever passing on some ageless ancient wisdom of his lineage to his young daughter!  Up until Slumdog Millionaire, which the whole of India shagged with for a while, even though it was not an Indian film, nobody in the world knew who the fuck Anil Kapoor was.  They still do not, but the Americans thought they should cast him in 24, to make 24 more "global".  So Anil Kapoor went!  He played a Middle Eastern prince!  Could he play an Eskimo?!!  This shit is hilarious.

The Americans are dumb enough to think putting Indian faces will sell their shit to India.  It won't.  We will buy OUR shit, or THEIR shit, not them making our shit, or us making their shit.  Why can't these nitwits wake the fuck up?  No Hollywood studio has succeeded in making an Indian film.  No Indian producer wants to make an international film.  There are a few but those chicks are horrible film makers.  They showed up in some of these festivals with their "issue based" shit because of the issues and because they were chicks.  Nothing else.  Now, there is a hole, and what a relief that must be!  It would be hard to defend any of our mainstream B-wood movies against anything of quality, a roadroller included.  Imagine what torture some of these fools must go through when they land in Cannes with totally pretentious, clueless movies that our audiences lap up with generous doses of forgiveness!

Now this Vimukthi kid has been devoting himself to watch Sathyajit Ray films.  Ugh!  Could he have found anybody less marketable?  And he's even mentioning how his film might open Indian films to international audiences!  Our films are already OPEN to international audiences!!!  There are any number of Patels and Singhs and other Indians all over the world.  All of them DO watch our movies!  Ray did make movies that people in film schools shag over, while the honest mainstream audiences mostly sleep.  Drowsy art.  But at the very least, Ray would not have chased after glory at Cannes.

Doesn't Europe produce shitty movies?  OF course they do!  French directors themselves are caught in a warped bubble of imagination that neither sells nor inspires, and hardly ever connects.  They are mad about Hollywood taking all their money, but will never make the kind of movies Americans make.  Americans don't care too much about high art, but are fantastic at telling stories on screen.  They keep it simple, and they take everybody's money.  So, Cannes wants as many rowdies in its gang as possible, and who to fill the gap better than Bollywood?  Just to make noise, not to show up with anything of quality - doing exactly what they do in India anyway.

Cannes = a place for our actors to show up.  TV = a place to find out where our actors are showing up.  Cricket grounds = a place for our actors to make sure they showed up.  Advertisements = seriously, what the fuck does Shah Rukh Khan know about paint?  Social causes = shoot endangered animals, but talk about saving the tiger.

Ah, showing up!  What else do Bollywood actors have to do anyway?  Why do they have to make this single act so painful for so many of us?

Why do we have to show up anywhere, anyway?


http://www.indianexpress.com/news/sonam-turns-style-diva-on-cannes-red-carpet/791883/

"The gown had a sense of humour"?  No shit.  The other Indian chick showed her panties?  Are you kidding me?  I bet there are some hooligans cheering and clapping there.  There'd be many more if these fools did this on the streets of Mumbai, but they won't be white skinned.  Anything for whitey, bitches?

Well done, Bollywood.

- BSK.

Here we fall again!

I really didn't want to do it again. 

But since when did Osama Bin Laden become the "world's most wanted terrorist"?  How is it even possible?

Spitting on India's media whores is one of my most annoying and irritating reactions, but if we don't watch what they are saying, they really will bullshit us.

I have no idea why North Indian English language media outlets have to parrot US media outlets, no matter what garbage those idiots spew out.  There has been plenty of terror by so many organizations, including the US military, well before Sept 11th, 2001.  Now that we have broadly concluded that only terror conducted by Muslims is popularly acceptable as terror, let's take another look at this pompous rank of "most wanted" given to Osama Bin Laden.

Seriously, as an Indian, I couldn't wait to get my hands on Dawood Ibrahim.  I couldn't really give a rat's ass about Osama Bin Laden.  I'd like to lynch those bastards we spinelessly released when IC 814 was hijacked and we allowed ourselves to be blackmailed.  That was the Taliban, and the scum released were Mushtaq Ahmed Zargar, Ahmed Omar Saeed Sheikh and Maulana Masood Azhar.  The last of these scum is our most wanted terrorist, for he has done much damage since.  Between him and Dawood Ibrahim, it's stiff competition.  OBL is nowhere in this race.

India is 18% of the world's population.  The USA is 4%.  Our most wanted terrorist is the world's most wanted terrorist, unless the Chinese are chasing one of these dicks.  Fuck the 4%.  There ends the argument.

OBL the most wanted in the world?  What the heck are you talking about?  This is the sort of absolute fiction our media vomits on us every time there is an event of any significance that tickles the USA.  I have said time and again that our journalists, particularly the English speaking bitches are not just self absorbed megalomaniacs, they are plain stupid.  Their incompetence is monumental in most situations.

Today, the woman on NDTV, said at 6:55 PM, "That was Osama Bin Laden's speech to the American people", just after President Obama finished his speech to his people.  Indeed, the world's most wanted terrorist being on the news must have scared them into blabbering shit like this.  I often wonder if they even think about what they are saying.  Clearly, it is not hard to see how bad these fools are.

Now, we're busy listening to Hameed Gul, the ex chief of the ISI, and that fox Pervez Musharraf, who is always happy to talk to our North Indian English news channels.  Gul has headed one of the shadiest outfits in the world, that actively arms and supports terror groups in the name of national interest, and is particularly inimical to India.  We don't need to show the prick any respect.  Period.  Now, he is on TV, trying to convince us very nicely indeed that a fortress that American forces had been keeping an eye on for months, only 800 metres from the Pakistan Military Academy, not far from Islamabad, could not really have been Osama Bin Laden's hiding place.  But he must have come there for treatment or something!!!   Treatment?  Well shit!  I thought he was the world's most wanted terrorist!!!??   And we're listening to this bullshit?  Well, let me try one here!  Please.  "Osama Bin Laden was a bird lover and at this time of the year, the blue necked mynah is famous for singing its mating tune, and so Bin Laden must have come to watch it in these peaceful neck of the woods."

Back to Pervez.  That son of a bitch that was part of that whole Kargil war in which they got their bums kicked, even though we lost 400 lives before deciding to use fighter jets.  Mushy cannot even come to his own country for fear of being thrown in jail.  So, he's in asylum in the UK.  But today he is the expert telling us that there is no way this operation could have been carried out without the active assistance of the Pakistani intelligence agencies.  This comes AFTER the US has officially stated that they went and did this alone!  Now let me get this straight - this is the country which claims they didn't even know where Osama Bin Laden was.  This is the country that has regularly attacked NATO convoys, supplied terrorists with weapons, money and training, and even officially claimed that this is nothing wrong when done in national interest, and now we're listening to an exiled general from that country telling us that Pakistan co-operated and co-ordinated an attack on one of their guests?  Do we really look that stupid?

Of course our North Indian English language media will never embarrass its guests, but it has no problem choosing monkeys to come as guests.  Let's get one thing straight, for heaven's sake!  Pakistan, the state, is the ENEMY of the nation of India.  Pakistan is lawless and will remain so!  We will never get any story straight from the Pakistani state.  Shahid Afridi may be the innocent buffoon they send to genuinely repair this image, and we love that buffoon and the cricket his team plays, but even there, freaking match fixing!  Dirty.  This is one filthy neighbour we have.  Let's not measure them with our scale of decency, even though we ourselves are pretty dirty.

There is a lot of "he said, she said" going on at the moment.  I don't give a rat's ass who said what.  If I was leading India (as opposed to misleading it), I'd look at actions.  I haven't seen any actions in reality that give me confidence in either Pakistan or the USA.  Those two richly deserve each other, because both are opportunistic foxes.  Why do we have to come into any equation with either of them?

Why is this so hard for our media to project?  Why is our society so backward in our thinking that we somehow imagine we are inferior and need to be approved by the USA or "the world"?  We shouldn't give a fuck.  That is a great attitude that has worked very well for Israel, and there is no reason it should not work for us.

Incompetence, they name is India.  We know.  But do we have to constantly look for ways to get worse?

- BSK.

A Nation of Passive Opportunists.

Anna Hazare has re-written history.  In fact, he has ensured the history of India is being written again.  He did the same thing Mahatma Gandhi did to the British - occupy high moral ground and blackmail the powers to succumb to his demand.  This word "blackmail" has a negative ring to it, doesn't it?  That's only because it conjures up images of cheap, witless psychopaths getting something they do not deserve, through devious means.  There's nothing devious about Anna Hazare's means, so clowns like Karan Thapar should stop acting like they are experts of this word "blackmail".  Long live the blackmailer, for the victim is the villain in this case.  Forty two years to pass a bill that gives us the right to prosecute the corrupt?  Enough of this, indeed, Annaji.

The mediocre always has to be pushed, prodded, woken up, beaten, and thrust into action by the extreme to get it to out of its inertial slumber.  India is a nation of massive mediocrity, dying to get worse, but somehow not allowed to by economic pressures.  We are not a non violent nation at all, as some of us would think.  We just choose the safer option because we're afraid of violence when it could turn against us.  What kind of influence do political parties regularly have on the "hapless" masses?  Any local MLA can call upon the services of murderers, thugs and rowdies to beat up any citizen that dares question any move!  This is why we are passive, not non-violent. 

But, we're opportunistic!  Anna Hazare gave us the opportunity, and we pounced on it.  This was our opportunity, not to clean up the nation, but to let our frustrations out.  We might get something out of it, but we might also forget all about it by the time the final draft of the Lokpal Bill comes out around the 30th of June this year.  It is a good thing indeed, but the movement that Hazare talks about is yet to happen.  It takes a fair amount of stamina to fight the system, especially when every moron around us has subscribed to a corrupt system.  Easier to pay the bribe, and get things done smooth and quiet - can this attitude change because of a Bill?  Most definitely not.  It still takes the citizen to approach the Lokpal and complain!  This takes work!  How can we Indians be expected to do work that doesn't pay?

Given the opportunity to get rich through corrupt means, without a major risk of being punished, most Indians would not hesitate for a second to jump into the cesspool.  How is the Lokpal bill going to address this mindset?  It will not, and it is indeed not the aim of the bill.  Given the opportunity to get "ahead" through corrupt means, short circuiting fair competition, most Indians would indeed do exactly this.  How else would we have fake pilots flying our aeroplanes?  We are cowards and we feel sick about it sometimes, but we convince ourselves we are being smart about it.  This is what our intelligence is used for.  Centuries of training in survival have taught us to flourish by staying out of the way, like germs.  Germs don't threaten enough to invite extermination, but are dangerous enough to keep us sick and unproductive - exactly what India is today.

How is the Lokpal Bill going to work, when it becomes the duty of the germs to inform the body of the invading disease?  We love the dis-ease.  We thrive in it, we thrive because of it, and we love the calmness of the sick patient, who has given up all hopes of fighting back.  In other words, this Anna Hazare character is a pest who is making us come out of our slumber and telling us we don't have to be germs anymore, because the patient is willing to let us lead a healthy existence within her body.  God bless Mother India, but how will the sheer masses of incompetence cope with an India that wants to throw out corruption?  Corruption is what keeps our masses lazy, well fed, and uncomplaining.  What can replace this incredible fuel?

We want opportunities.  Opportunities to further our laziness, opportunities to further our economic goals, and our sense of entitlement and power.  These have always existed.  Now, we also want opportunities to "feel good" about ourselves.  This is a new want, a new addiction in new age India.  We didn't want our boys to win the world cup because they played the best cricket and were truly deserving of the honour.  We wanted them to win so that we as "Indians" could wave the flag and yell at the world.  This is very sophomoric and idiotic of course, but it is also very American.  The USA is the country for us to look up to, for some reason.  No wonder a lot of our idiots have started putting their hands on their unfit chests when OUR national anthem is playing.  This again is nothing but an "opportunity" to showcase our patriotism just like Americans, but it has indeed become the opportunity for us to show how stupid we are, since even the Americans are supposed to do it not for their national anthem but for the Pledge of Allegiance!

There is nothing wrong in wanting to be Number One.  So, the pride we feel in our cricket team is natural.  How about doing something about the #119 we have in the Human Development Index?  See, we do not have the shining, sexy, fashionable opportunity for doing this.  It is not going to be quick, it is not going to be jingoistic, and it is not going to be vocal, so this process is going to be dull, unattractive, grinding, and horrendously time consuming.  We may not even be around when we get within #100 of this pesky index!  So, indeed we are not going to even try!

Anna Hazare didn't just provide the platform.  In this age of media glare, he provided the stage for many of our clowns to show up and perform.  The government yielded, not because it was morally forced to, but because it did not want to look like a failure on this stage!  It is all about perception, and performance on the stage!  No wonder Bollywood is completely in support of Anna Hazare although it produces movies with underworld money, has actors who shoot down wildlife, and even those who buy machine guns from terrorist outfits!  Was India outraged when Sanjay Dutt came on TV feeling bad about the terrorist attacks of 26th November?  Of course not!  We forgot that he had immersed himself in criminal anti-national activity but remembered him for his role in Munna Bhai or whatever crap.

We have become a nation of simplistic, easily manipulated fools.  We are no longer capable of critical thinking.  We go with what we like or dislike.  Anna Hazare is rather hard to dislike.  He is also not in the grey area, where critical thinking becomes immensely necessary.  He is out there in the white area, which is easy to sign up for!  That is why we chose to support him, not because we understood the full import of this Lokpal Bill and his blackmail tactic.  It takes the threat of calamity to force India to act in any haste to do ANY good.  We Indians love the foreboding threat of anything larger than life.  That is why we love our movie heroes to beat up fifty villains.  If he was human, it would require fifty of us to help him, and that won't be so interesting would it?

If we had to vote for a Supremo, a dictator or a king, (called "President" in some countries), we would gladly switch to that system.  We have grown up for centuries with kings as our benevolent dictators.  We even fondly recollect those times as the golden past of India.  The BJP even has a king Ram as their idol, so I wonder why nobody has asked them what the heck they are doing in a democracy while talking about a king all the time!  We do not like democracy really, because it puts responsibility on us.  If we could be slaves, we would.  That is why we make kings out of our elected leaders, and they gladly accept!  That is why they loot, and we applaud.  Look at those statues Mayawati has built of herself, and we know exactly what "opportunity" means for an Indian.

So, how to we function in the collective?  We do not!  We did not choose democracy.  It was chosen for us.  And now it may be too late to switch to a benevolent dictatorship, because too many of us would want to be the dictator.  So, we have this farce of a system where we elect people who don't have to listen to us or serve our interests as soon as they are elected.  Now, we're going to have the means to throw them in jail for corruption.  What about our own apathy, our incompetence, and our complete acceptance, even sympathy, for the crooked?  After all, we're the nation of really passive germs, who totally understand the need for survival.  How do we switch to intolerance?  We should suddenly thrash the peon who wants ten rupees for his "coffee"?  Or refuse to pay a donation that will ensure our unfit kid's a seat in that engineering college?  How are we going to change ourselves?

Our media has played a massive role in popularizing Anna Hazare and his campaign.  But this is not a service it embarked upon performing.  This was a big enough story to carry at the top.  Viewership!  Numbers!  Money!  Opportunity indeed!  From the World Cup to the IPL, the news channels were forced to fight for scraps.  Now Anna Hazare has provided them with phenomenal gravity.  It's a good thing this did not happen during the India-Pakistan match!  Very clever of you, Annaji!  Perfect timing!

Now, whatever happened to our sailors captured by Somali pirates, the Adarsh building scam, the 2G scam, the Commonwealth Games scam, and the thousand of other scams?  None of them are worth our attention now?  Eerily, it is time for something to come crashing down.  People must die for us to pay attention.  That is what Indian lives are worth - to bring viewership to our TV channels.  Aha!  Now, there's an opportunity!

- BSK.

Enough already!

I'm over the moon with our cricketing boys winning the World Cup.  Finally it is done and dusted - the elusive World Cup is now here, with us!  We are on the top of the world, both in Tests and ODIs and looking every bit like it, after beating many worthy opponents on the way.  I am thrilled to bits.

We have heard a lot about doing it for the nation, for Sachin, for various other reasons, from various players.  We have heard a lot about "the team".  And somehow, by yelling for "India!" (what else can we yell for?), a lot of us have somehow taken ownership of this Cup as if we all deserve it.  This bit is hilarious.

As far as I can see, nobody did a damn thing for the team.  That is not to say they were being selfish.  Hardly so!  They were being thoroughly professional and pooling in their resources in order to secure the win.  This is one very special fifteen member team, not because they can put aside their peeves and egos, as many fools have waxed eloquent about, but because they understood what it takes to win - it is that simple.  Why does the rest of India not understand how to get shit done?  We should not need patriotism to come to our aid each time we should do something to make India work.  Work - that is what this Indian cricket team knows how to do - to make their plans work.  They know how to work on their game till it is good enough to take out the opposition.

Dhoni deserves praise not for doing all this for his nation, which he unwittingly has done, but for listening to his own intuition whenever it mattered most.  It is his single minded trust on his own ability and on his own judgment that won us the cup.  Salute a man that creates his own destiny.  Let's not forget how he stands out as an individual that can galvanize a group into a trusting unit, and let's understand that first and foremost he is a fiercely competitive professional, not to be fooled by anything including patriotism.

Sachin Tendulkar is a lot more given to this patriotism nonsense, but from Dhoni, as from Abhinav Bhindra, it is professionalism first.  No wonder both are world beaters, while Sachin needed Dhoni to get him there.  Australia have done this, what, four times?  And did we hear any of their captains ever say they did it for their kangaroos and the beer drinking morons waving flags?  Heck, they did not even do it for their flag.  They did it purely because they were fierce competitors who loved to win.

I am all for a bit of fun, but to put "nation" onto our young men playing a game is quite retarded.  So, if they are such patriots to win this for us, would they be traitors if they lost?  In our cricket team, I see one quality that is absent in most spheres in India - the want to be better.  These kids are special, and most are from ordinary families who have grabbed their opportunity with both hands.  It is their dharma and they understand it.  For the kind of money they make, they do not even need to be this good!  So, let's appreciate a bunch of fiercely competitive kids who are enjoying doing this for their own joy!  Let's celebrate them for the brash rascals they should be but somehow hold themselves back from being that.  Perhaps being brash is just a waste of energy and their coach has told them to harness that as well?

We should remember they play for the BCCI, not the nation of India.  The BCCI is a club registered in Tamilnadu.  Its affairs are private, and so are its moneys.  It is VERY fortunate for them that this patriotic nonsense pushes up ticket sales and the cost of TV rights, so each time one of you idiots runs with a flag, you're helping them make a buck or two!  They are a fantastic club, in that they take care of their fraternity very well.  But that has nothing to do with the nation of India!

For sure, this team represents India, but unlike our skeet shooters and track athletes, this bunch is tightly controlled by the BCCI.  Imagine having to take permission from the BCCI to put that little Indian flag on the helmet!  There you go, just in case you didn't know where!

It is one thing to take inspiration from a great performance, but to allow one performance to overshadow all our other failings and achievements is to say the least, dangerous.  The whole nation does not come to a standstill when Saina Nehwal is playing an important game, or when Mahesh Bhupati and Leander Paes have quietly climbed back to the #1 spot in the world, the latter actually happening today.  The whole nation does not mourn when we find that we have been cheated to the tune of 176,000 crore rupees by a minister and his cohorts.  The whole nation does not hold candle light vigils for showing up at #146 on the Human Development Index released by the UN.  It is a much sadder matter than a lot of other events that evoke reactions from our media soaked people.

We have so many examples of individual brilliance, but each of them is despite the nation being what it is, not because of it.  If anything, there are millions who will actually achieve great things if this nation stays the fuck out of the way.  The more we buy into this patriotic bullshit, the more we are supporting a dysfunctional, mediocre, backward system that encourages being mediocre and begging for freebies in exchange for votes.  Surely, our cricketers are not playing for this mass of lethargic lard.

What's all the yelling all about anyway?  The rest of India has so much unused energy, because we are not worn down to exhaustion with anything we do.  We don't need to do much to fill our stomachs, that's the truth.  We don't need to be excellent at anything to make a very good living in India.  We can even fake certificates and become pilots.  We can bribe and move anything in our favour.  We can take cover under the umbrella of slow justice even after committing murder.  We can get away with A LOT in this very tolerant junkyard called India.

Let's not stop our cricket team from getting far away from this nonsense, though!  They have already bolted far ahead!  Let them go!  Let's not weigh them down with "India!".

- BSK

The SX4 Diesel is NOT a diesel!

There is never going to be complete honesty in advertising.

There is never going to be honesty, and there is never going to be anything complete in any advertising.  But do we have to put up with total lies?

This is the ad. for the Maruti SX4 Diesel that has been on the air for a while.  Apparently, now men will make everything else wait, because it is finally here!  I am a man and I don't really give a shit, but...

But, is it really here?  Not as far as I could tell by looking at the advertisement.

The company, Maruti Udyog Ltd., their advertising agency, and the film maker are involved in this lie - projecting the SX4 Petrol as the SX4 Diesel.

The diesel variant presumably isn't much fun to drive, and is probably much less responsive than the petrol version.  Of course the petrol engine produces more power and will probably hit a higher top speed and accelerate harder.  Since the variants are not going to look that different from one another, why not make the commercial with the petrol version and tell the world that "now men will make everything wait"!  Why not show the world the petrol car and tell them it is the diesel car?

The only problem is - the advertisement shows a specific attribute that actually amounts to misleading the public.  The tachometer in the Maruti SX4 Diesel advertisement redlines at 6,500 rpm.  Here, take a look.

If this were true, this would be heady news for any production diesel engine, and all diesel enthusiasts.

So, I thought I'd have a chat with Maruti to clarify.

Welcome to Maruti Suzuki Online Customer Service.
The session has been accepted.
{SX4 Online Support}    Thank you for contacting Maruti Suzuki India Limited Interactive Chat Service. How may I assist you?
{BSK}    I'd like to know the max RPM (below red line) of the Maruti SX4.
{BSK}    Diesel, that is.
{SX4 Online Support}    Thank you for showing your interest in MSIL. We will surely provide you the information, kindly provide us your mobile number and city?
{BSK}    Mobile number is on Do Not Disturb anyway, so not important to you.
{SX4 Online Support}    We request you to kindly send us your exact contact details (phone number with STD code) to expedite your query at the earliest. However, your contact details are required to update our records.
{BSK}    How is the engine RPM of the Maruti SX4 diesel connected to my phone number?
{BSK}    All I want is a specification of your new car that is not on the website.
{SX4 Online Support}    We would request you kindly provide us your contact details so that we will assist you in much better way as your contact detail is required to update our records.
{BSK}    I have given you my name, and yours is still "SX4 Online Support". Why would I want to give you my phone number?
{SX4 Online Support}    No issue, Sir
{SX4 Online Support}    Engine Specifications of SX4 Diesel:

Type: 16 V DOHC, DDIS
Cylinders: 4
Valves: 16
Piston Displacement: 1248 cc
Engine Output 90 PS @ 4000 RPM
Torque 200 NM @ 1750 RPM
Kerb Weight 1225 Kg (VDI), 1245 kg (ZDI)
{BSK}    That still does not contain the max (below redline) RPM of the engine.
{SX4 Online Support}    Sir, we would request you to contact the nearest Maruti Suzuki Dealer showroom for more Technical Details.
{BSK}    Thanks, bye!

Since the SX4 Online Support idiot, who was drooling to get my phone number had even less information than the website contains, I did find the diesel car, and got this picture as well.

See the difference?

The diesel engine redlines at a much lower 5,000 rpm.  This means you won't be able to rev the engine like the advertisement seems to have you believe you can!

In other words, you will not get what Maruti is saying you will get in the advertisement.  In other words, they are lying bastards.

But they are also stupid.  People who want fun performance will buy the petrol version anyway.  People who buy the diesel buy it for only one thing - economy.  If I wanted to have fun, why would I pay a lot more for the diesel car and settle for LESS performance anyway?  Maybe this is the question Maruti is trying to mislead its potential customers away from?

If we are Indian, we should be used to lies and deception by now.  Right?

Fucking punks.

- BSK.

PS: The Maruti SX4 Diesel produces less power than the petrol variant, is heavier than the petrol variant, and goes slower too, in all probability, but it does produce more torque.  The engine is made by Fiat, and was not originally intended to pull such a big car either.

Our latest fashion - interference!

Very predictably, India has backed the UN Security Council sanctions on Libya.

So, we're the good guys here, and Gaddafi, is a despot and dictator, holding on to the reins of power since 1969?  We want to see the anarchy end, and peace on the streets of Libyan cities, towns and villages.

The Council on Saturday last week, voted 15 for and 0 against, to adopt Resolution 1970 - imposing a comprehensive arms embargo and a travel ban to the country of Libya, and to freeze the assets of the regime of Muammar Gaddafi, who has ruled Libya since 1969.

This is the first time a country has been unanimously referred to the International Criminal Court by the Security Council.  We backed that resolution!

And yet, according to SM Krishna, we don't want to interfere in the affairs of another sovereign nation!

What is wrong with this picture?

Since when have we become so delusional as to think our actions and our inactions don't have any consequences?  Since when did we officially decide to back the UN, when even years after the genocide in Iraq by Bush and his military, no action has been brought against that idiot?  Bush deserves to be tried in the International Criminal Court for his enormous wrongs that have left no less than 600,000 Iraqis dead.  But somehow, that wrong goes unquestioned?

India has a diplomatic mission in Libya, a fully functional one, does it not?  So, if we were completely at ease with everything that has been going on in that country for so many years, what is suddenly irking us now?  All the Indians who have been there for years have been able to do that precisely - make a living - under Gaddafi.  Now what?  All of a sudden, we realized he is the devil?

What harm has Libya done to India, now that we have decided to back sanctions against a sovereign nation that our External Affairs minister says we don't want to interfere with?  We're not interfering with them you idiot!  We're totally fucking with them.

Truth is, we, the people of India, don't know the truth on the ground in Libya.  There hasn't been terrorism and bloodshed since 1969 to fuel any nonsensical claim that Gaddafi has been clinging to power that long through brutal repression.  Libya has been a fairly free country and has been quietly going about its normal life and business.  All of a sudden, there has been a wave of anti-government protests, which the world media has been quick to pounce on and declare as the winds of change sweeping through the Middle East and Northern Africa.

In the wake of Bush's illegal and nakedly belligerent attack and invasion of Iraq, there were many, many protests in the USA.  Did we back sanctions against Bush then?  Those protests were also quashed by the US government, and Bush has also famously stolen two elections, with rigged voting machines and untold amount of corruption like no-bid contracts to Haliburton, the company in which the vice president that Dick Cheney had stakes in.  Did India openly state even once that the USA's invasion of Iraq was totally illegal?  Or that democracy was being raped in the name of fighting terror?  We ignored Dubya but are obsessed with Libya?  Why?

What is our bloody official stance in world affairs?  We haven't done a rat's ass about using our "blue water" Navy to rescue our citizens from paltry Somali pirates.  We have not done anything about one of our IIT graduates being in jail in the USA for showering his anger on Bush, and we sure as hell did not do anything about our students getting beaten regularly in Australia, except of course Krishna making this stupid statement about how he did not know our students were going there to study fashion and catering!  Like they would not have been beaten up in rough neighbourhoods if the attackers knew they were all studying to be rocket scientists!

We are indeed happy to supply soldiers to the UN, to serve in other countries on peacekeeping missions, and our soldiers do lose their lives on those jobs.  What the heck do we do this for?  Why should Kartar Singh from a village in Madhya Pradesh lose his life in a mortar attack by rebel forces in Rwanda?  How come we are happy to interfere as long as the UN is the one telling us where to interfere?

Whose line are we toeing here?  And to what end?  It is all very nice of us to pull Indian citizens out, sending planes and ships for this, and it is all very nice to see some of them expressing gratitude and pride in being Indian.  But what exactly are we accomplishing by backing sanctions against a country that has not interfered with us in any way?  On what grounds are we accepting the standpoint of the rest of the UN Security Council that Libya under Gaddafi is in some way considerably larger as a threat to world peace than the USA was under Bush?  Don't we have any objective thought processes here?  What the hell are our diplomats there for?

We as a nation do not have a standpoint.  We do not have a collective position on anything any more.  We are without a moral compass, without an objective, without a stated position on who we are and what we stand for as a people.  What can be more dangerous to the second most populous collective in the world?

We have a legitimate interest in Afghanistan's well being and we are big donors to that country.  Nothing wrong with that, whatever our strategic objectives may be, considering Pakistan lies between us and Afghanistan.  We do not send our soldiers into Afghanistan, even though the USA would love that.  The reason is more political than principle.  Our opposition would never allow this weak kneed government at the centre to send our soldiers into battles that have nothing to do with us.

More and more, under Sonia Gandhi, India is leaning towards a blind pro-West stance that is morally well below unquestionable, and clearly driven more by perception than by reality.  There is this "perception" that the UN is actually right on all issues.  This is simply not true.  Just because Barkha Dutt takes her mug and plants it in Libya, cuddling rebel forces who want "change" does not mean we should sympathize with the anti-government rebels who have no idea what that change really might mean.

What exactly do we know about Libyan people?  What do we know about how hard it must be to bring about change in that country, whether it is the form of government or the type of leader?  It is just freaking fashionable to support the West's notion that all change is good change?  Why can't we leave it to the Libyans to decide what they want?  Who are we to cuddle up to the opposition and take this notional stance that Gaddafi must go?

Our Maoists want the same kind of change in our country.  Do we tolerate them?  Imagine if China supported a travel ban and sanctions against India, and sent its reporters to cover our Maoists demanding that our government be sent home and a new India be born with Kishenji as the leader of our nation.  How preposterous it already sounds to us.  So, why can't we extend a serious ear to what Gaddafi is saying?  Why are we so presumptuously in agreement with Libya's condition as stated by the USA and the rest of the UN coterie?

Libyan opposition forces captured British secret agents who came to "help" them!  http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/article1514543.ece  This is hilarious, because it clearly sends out the signal - "Don't show up, outsiders!".  In fact, it screams a Libyan will to block all interference from outside.  The opposition is furious, for this kind of intervention will make it look like this revolution is fuelled from the outside!  Brilliant!  So, why are we showing up there?  And why the heck are our news channels so proud about trumpeting who got there first?  The first to be super stupid?  Heck, that's something I'd try to hide!  India, clueless and directionless as always.

Many Indians who lived in Iraq swear to this day that Saddam Hussein's rule was the best in its history.  Iraq was a progressive country, flourishing in education, commerce, and even the arts.  Indians were treated well, and the country was doing fine.  Then came its darkest period - becoming the USA's enemy.  Many of us Indians do not even know what sparked Iraq's attack on Kuwait.

Kuwait was illegally pumping more oil than it was allowed to, thereby unfairly pushing Iraq's oil price down.  Kuwait had been allowed a 5 year period when it could pump above its quota of oil output in order to build its economy after a collapse.  Well beyond this time, Kuwait continued to pump in excess of its quota.  American and British companies were the beneficiaries and despite Saddam Hussein's several warnings, and pleas, the "world" ignored him.  He even said he would attack Kuwait's oil installations if this continued, and it did.  That is how the first Gulf War came about.

The world's largest media outlets are either owned by or controlled by people and organizations that are vested in the Western point of view.  Rupert Murdoch cannot be beaten as the most blatant symbol of media backing vital political interests.  Suffice to say, the biggest noise in the Indian media today, certainly in TV, is being made by interests that lean well towards the USA and its embarrassingly simplistic view of the world.  Barkha Dutt is the shrill parrot that exemplifies this attitude.  Sheer incompetence shamelessly cloaked in self righteousness.  Both should be unacceptable to any country aiming for true progress.

We Indians have become far too convenience trained.  We do not have a culture of critical thinking anymore.  We would rather put our minds on something enjoyable rather than being curious about what is going on in the world around us.  Libya is also standing up in our attention because we have been told to pay attention to it.  There is nothing more "happening" right now, apart from the thousands of crores of our wealth being stashed by crooks supported by the government without any prosecutions so far.  Libya is replacing our attention that should also be on a major slip involving the selection of the Chief Vigilance Commissioner.  Libya is playing the role of a classical decoy, but this role has been assigned by our media.

Nobody in the Indian media is even questioning the absence of the counterpoint on this Libya issue.  Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's president, is a shining example of standing by principle.  He has come out in support of Gaddafi, called him a friend, and condemned the design to invade Libya as "madness".  He has also called for international mediation.  "Mediation" not "sanctions".  Who is being dictatorial here?  The UN or Chavez?  Where is this counterpoint in this so called FREE DEMOCRACY called India?  Are we so blinded by our perceived loyalty to the USA and its allies that we don't even feel the necessity to balance our viewpoint?

Most of all, why are we buying into this crap that democracy is the solution to the future of the world?  Taking our own country as an example, democracy is not working.  Our country is being looted, and social programs to not reach the needy.  Our kings, ALL of them dictators, did a much better job of delivering justice and maintaining peace and fostering prosperity.  A benevolent dictatorship is a much better, more proven and reliable form of government.  Why does democracy deserve such a vulgar level of promotion when its record is dismal?

If the USA were to have its way, we'd have another war soon.  The USA is talking about striking and taking out Libya's air capabilities.  Who the fuck is the USA to talk about a "no fly zone" over Libya?  And why are we not vehemently opposing it?  If we want to play a "global" role of some sort, we should start by defining what we stand for.  We can't be showing up fully decked in our pomp at parties we are not invited to.  We look silly enough already.

India, please wake up!  Let's mind our own business, please.  There is plenty of it.

- BSK.