An APPEAL for inaction?

Various "leaders" of our great country have come out and appealed for peace, harmony, and the prime minister himself has even asked for "tranquility" in the wake of the expected verdict of the Allahabad High Court over the title suit of the land on which the Babri Masjid once stood.

Right this moment, we don't have a great deal of peace or harmony in our country and tranquility can only come with a tranquilizer to most of us, but we're certainly not ready subscribers to riots, disharmony or destruction.  We're too lazy for any of that because it takes initiative and action, but that is something else.

What I feel deeply insulted by is the assumption of our leaders across all parties and persuasions that we really give a fuck about this verdict of a piece of land being politicized by some idiots up north.  I cannot believe the lunatics who have the time for this shit.  We just flushed 70,000 crores into something called the Commonwealth games in which the average Indian does not have a damn to gain, and we didn't give a fuck, so why will we get angry if a piece of land goes to a mosque or a temple?

Our elected leaders must have such a twisted picture of us in their minds.  Us - the average, everyday Indians.  This picture must be so twisted or Disney cute in their minds that they must imagine we're not capable of any sophisticated thought, and that we would collectively rise to dispute whatever verdict comes out, knowing fully well that the damn verdict is going straight to the Supreme Court one way or the other!

Doesn't the average Indian have anything better to do?  A whole generation has come to pass since that deplorable monkey dance breaking fest that took down the Babri Masjid.  We didn't really give a shit then, and we didn't give a shit even when that day was supposedly avenged by the fanatics on the Muslim bench through terrorist attacks.

We have thrown out the BJP lock stock and barrel because of their dogmatic and zealous religious nonsense, and really shown the door to pretty much everything that threatens any fabric of this idea called India.  The average Indian does not have to be appealed to in order to maintain what he knows to maintain - status quo.  If we should be woken up, forced into action, forced into virulent, violent action, then, we need to hear this sort of appeal.  Not if we need to let bygones be bygones - that from our inherent apathy, comes naturally to us.

Even this apathetic status quo has come at a price.  We have seen every issue in this country be politicized.  We have seen every idealistic notion be torn to shreds by rotten politicians, most of whom we would not even hire to feed our dogs in our absence, leave alone water the garden.  We know the stench of corruption and cheap behaviour when the flame of the Commonwealth games is snatched by politicians hungry for TV time and our athletes don't even get to touch it.

We're demonstrating every single day how much crap we put up with, when our champion boxer's bed collapses at the games village, and there is not one day in 365 when all our trains may run on time.  By the way, they did, during the infamous Emergency period!  We're a country where the most normal shit happens normally only during a period called "Emergency".  So, why the fuck would we give a shit about some abnormal historic shit that happened well before we became this nation called India?

Some of us do, for sure.  But these are the monkeys in the political parties that want to return India to prehistoric days of glory.  Not many of them realize that history in those days was very probably written by historians paid by the kings themselves.  Or else, what are the chances of all 537 kings in India being generous, thoughtful, wise and helpful to people?  They even fucking planted trees and dug ditches, encouraged sculpture, arts, and scientific research and medicine, and had this phenomenal grasp of astronomy, philosophy and what not.  So how come we're such a fucked up country now?  All fucking bullshit.  Hedonistic rascals would have made sure their in-house historians wrote good things about them.  There must have been the occasional great ruler, but most of the kings in this land must have been fornicating big time when everything went to ruin around them.

We the people of democratic India, trust a new set of leaders every now and then.  We trust them to be smart, somewhat capable, and short of raping our mothers and burning our homes, we are okay with them looting and plundering this country in every way possible.  They don't seem to know us at all, because, hey ho! They're not even freaking interested in us!  If we disrupt normal life because of some inspirational uprising, it might be a problem for the real looters to get in on their usual action.  That is all this appeal is for - "Oh, people of India, don't let this pesky little verdict suddenly make you pay any attention!"

I am pissed mad because this appeal is being made at all.  It is an insult to the peace loving nature of the average Indian.  Our peace is invaded on a daily basis because of corruption, bribes being demanded, infrastructure not working properly, and nobody in government being held accountable.  It does NOT get invaded by a stupid verdict that decides who gets a piece of land, especially when that land is small in size, invisible to the vast majority of the population, and in any extreme situation, is going to hold a piece of worship.  We're not zealots.  We don't give a shit.  And for once, I am proud of this.

BSK.

The usual, rampant, shameless, immature, shrill, robotic bullshit.

SPOILER ALERT:

If you read this (p)review, you are likely to avoid watching "Endhiran".

http://www.thehindu.com/arts/cinema/article566585.ece

For some reason, it is absolutely necessary to bullshit people about an upcoming movie, making it out to be a great freaking, original, stupendous, magnificent, groundbreaking marvel, instead of just telling people the gist of the plot and letting them be blown away by the experience of watching it.

Indian film makers have not yet learnt how to truly make stupendous cinema, no matter how much they have copied from Hollywood, but they sure know how to up the ante on the promotional bullshit that they puke all over us.

Endhiran is no exception, and this nonsense, coming from The Hindu, no less, needs to be torn apart part by part, and shredded for what it is - endless bullshit.

Here is my take on some of this crap.

1.  Shankar, the director, is being lauded for being punctual, and he in turn praises Rajinikanth for being punctual!  Hello?  Aren't all professionals supposed to do this?  Even the guy who irons my clothes is very punctual.  Does being on time lead to a good film?  Of course not.  But it is worth putting on this "sincerety" shit for some reason.  "Oh, we are all very punctual people, so please see this movie"?  A lot of fools who make crappy movies are also punctual.  So?  Seriously, I don't mind if the director comes drunk if he can make an Avatar, to be honest.  In fact, if I know he can make Avatar ONLY if he gets drunk, I'd get him any liquor he wants, and he can come at any time he wants.

2.  Endhiran is the country's first sci-fi attempt!  ??  This author Malathi Rangarajan, has to be either really lazy, or stupid to imagine we wouldn't check the facts.  As recently as 2008, Harry Baweja made a film called "Love Story 2050".  In any case, what is so great about being the first to do something in a country, in the world of art?  Haven't we already trumpeted how "global" we are!?  So, how come we want to go very "local" in this sneaky way while "global" has produced thousands of sci-fi matter?  By the way, aren't there plenty of sci-fi elements in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata?  Remember arrows welding each other on TV?  That was a long time ago, too!  Some more bullshit.

3.  Oh, please.  Sivaji was not a stupendous success.  As a ratio of what it cost to make and release the film, the producer would be lucky to have made a marginal profit.  The scale of the project was so enormous, it should have collected ten times more.  If the producer hasn't made a single film since their last "stupendous" success for a couple of years, what are the chances of this happening because they are still counting the money?  More bullshit.

4.  Shankar has handled diverse themes?  Look a little closer and for some reason, "Gentleman", "Indian", and "Anniyan" all seem to have the same theme - The Individual against the Collective.  And what exactly does "completely" original mean?  Here's a holler and a hoot.  Shankar says "I can't repeat myself.  I need challenges" !!!!  Here's a challenge for you, Sir - please tell us a good story, and spare us the bullshit.  That would definitely mean you are not repeating yourself!

5.  "Aishwarya Rai is dedicated and hardworking as a hero".  Should we automatically expect her to be a lazy bimbo?  "It is superfluous to talk about her screen presence"??   So, would it be profound to talk about her rather limited acting skills?  Why can't we have enough integrity to at the very least, leave out this kindergarten level of marketing lousy product?  Aishwarya Rai is eye candy.  Nobody would have known her as an actress if she hadn't won beauty competitions.  Let's leave it at that, shall we?  We should already be sick of Shah Rukh Khan selling fairness cream like a gay prostitute.  "Ladkiyon wali cream, kabhi nahin!" Ugh.

6.  "We have robotic labs and futuristic sets".   If a film is called "Robot" in any language, we don't exactly expect palaces and lush verdant valleys, do we?  “Endhiran will be a stunning visual experience … I hope,” says the director. What is it with people using adjectives on their own work?  Didn't he see what he made?  Was it stunning?  Considering "stunning" is now a higher bar, set by Avatar?  Truth is, this rascal knows it is not that good, but he still could not help bullshitting about it, and then cutting himself short with embarrassment.  And the author was stupid enough to publish it like that!

7.  And now, the shit that is really missing from this article - What is the story about?  Endhiran is about a robot that gradually becomes a human being, I heard.  For some reason, that was Terminator, and Terminator two!  Or was it too?  God, I can think of "Blade Runner" which had a similar concept.  In fact, I can think of Robocop as well.  If I put some effort, I can think of so many films on this theme.  Wonder if Shankar's script leaked out to Hollywood!  Thank God their Robots didn't dance to Rahman's music.  Now, that must be Shankar's instinctive, "completely original" genius.

And today is Friday the 13th.  I swear to God, I ...... 

BSK.

The empire of the Indian Rupee!

Wow!

India has finally joined the "elite", "exclusive" club of currencies that have their own symbols.  Surely, our lives will change infinitely for the better now.

Let's see how.  We can now freely take Indian Rupees to all the countries of the world, like NEPAL! BHUTAN! ... and... and... and... @#$(*^&!

Well we've atleast got a new symbol that stands for our independence, our separation from other rupees like those of our neighbours, so that people will not get confused, and this is an "exclusive" club, isn't it?  Yes, indeed!  Surely, anybody would get very confused without a symbol if they were to wonder if they are in Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka or Indonesia after getting out of an airport and exchanging their money for local money.  In fact, it might be hard for some people notice in which of these great countries they just landed, so this symbol, (which will NOT be printed on any currency notes!) will indeed help absolve us of any guilt of confusion.

Now that we have this major problem averted, let's see what we can buy with the new Indian Rupee (without the symbol or with it), which will no doubt continue to be hugely accepted in Nepal and Bhutan.  Um! those rocks on the bank of the Kali Ghantaki were pretty attractive, I must say.  And Bhutan does sell some handicrafts, yak cheese and jewellery.  Pretty neat huh?

Let's not worry about oil, arms and ammunitions, ships, planes, nuclear fuel, computer chips, medical equipment, or foodgrains which we now seem to have developed a chronic shortage for.  For all of this, we might still need those pesky dollars, which we have 279 billion of.  And none of them, shame on them, have the $ symbol either!  But, according to Information and Broadcasting Minister Ambika Soni: "It's a big statement on the Indian currency. The symbol would lend a distinctive character and identity to the currency and further highlight the strength and global face of the Indian economy."  The global face that can grin while lapping up all the handicrafts, yak cheese and jewellery and rocks from the banks of the Kali Ghantaki.

Further - It would be included in the 'Unicode Standard' and major scripts of the world so as to ensure that it is easily displayed and printed in the electronic and print media, apparently.  Now, it would be impossible for the world's media to print "Indian Rupees" wouldn't it?  So, we give them this new symbol.  To proudly add a key on their keyboards, through a mysteriously long cumbersome sequence of keystrokes a little harder than those that result in the symbols for the Euro, the Yen, or the Zambian Kwacha.  Phew!  Thank God we recognize how important this is going to be.

But what are we going to do about "Crore"s and "Lakh"s?  The rest of the world has no idea what these words mean, and nor do I always catch some North Indian saying "Karod" either!  Are we going to switch to millions and billions?  Or are we going to request others start using karods and laakh?  How about convincing the Americans go switch to Ek, do, teen, too?  That might make our lives easier too!

In a world that doesn't care for the Indian Rupee, even our Indian Premier League, our shiny showcase of international sports power, uses American dollars to evaluate the worth of their franchises and players.  Fact is, we don't make anything the world would want to pay in rupees for.  Heck, we wouldn't want them to pay in rupees for anything, because we don't want anybody else's rupees either!  We want their Dollars, Euros, Pounds, and anything else that can be freely converted to Dollars, Euros or Pounds.

So, why is Delhi embarking upon this phallic ritual?  Because we recognize that in order to feel good about being "Indian" we can hit only symbolic milestones, come up with icons and gestures in the absence of true global leverage for any of our resources.  NOBODY travelling to India from anywhere other than Nepal and Bhutan can actually get Indian Rupees to bring to India.  Nobody has any and nobody wants to have any.  Because we are absolutely loving it, exactly the way the McPoliticians in Delhi have designed this system donkey's years ago.  We don't have the confidence to make our currency fully convertible.  And we dare not come up with any adventurism there.  Heck, we have even come up with this symbol, approved by Union Cabinet on Thursday "to distinguish the currency of our over $ 1-trillion economy" -  not the 45 trillion rupee economy!  (How the fuck we have a trillion "dollar" economy when we have only 279 billion dollars in reserve beats me!)

But, according to these dummies who have come up with the need for this - it is good enough!  We're getting our bloody symbol!

BSK.

The Ministry of External Fiascos.

http://beta.thehindu.com/news/national/article77168.ece

External Affairs Minister Mr. S.M. Krishna has expressed "shock" over
Indian students in Australia enrolling in courses like Hair Styling
and Facials.

>>>Talking to journalists here, he said: "One can understand students going there [Australia] at the university level, at the IIT level or at the level of some other institution of excellence. When I went there, I was shocked to see so many students in courses they don't need to go to Australia for — such as learning hair styling or doing facials.

"In India, such courses are available in Delhi, Bangalore, Mumbai and
Chennai. So parents should be more discriminating in choosing
educational institutions for their children to pursue higher studies,"
he advised shortly after a meeting with Australian High Commissioner
Peter Varghese.

"The courses to which our students have been going are certainly not
very encouraging. So I would suggest [to] the Indian parents to be
discreet. They better get informed themselves about the courses."

Analysts here said the Minister hit the nail on the head.<<<<

What nail, whose head? Did we send S. M. Krishna to Australia to find
out why our students are being beaten, stabbed and killed or to find
out what they're studying?

Who are these morons calling themselves "analysts" and what the hell
have they been analyzing?

The MEA seems to be suggesting that students studying Engineering in
an "institution of excellence" would be less of a target of racial
attacks. If that isn't absurd enough, why the heck at all is THIS
ministry making a value judgment on what courses are "encouraging"?
Krishna isn't the minister of education, he is the bloody Minister of
External Affairs. What business of his is it to make a comment on
WHAT our students in Australia study?

This is a judgemental, patronizing, conservative upper class Indian
advising his children on what to do with their lives! For heavens
sake, you slowpoke, it is YOUR job to be concerned about the safety of
our people abroad. It is NOT your job to tell them what to study,
what job to get, what car to buy, and how to spend the rest of their
lives. Mind your business, and stop being so patronizing.

Once the nation has issued a passport to an Indian citizen, that
person is free to travel anywhere in the world, and the government of
India should accord that person the respect of protection and
assistance through its missions abroad. Period. If there are
questions to be asked about motive for travel, that is the business of
the receiving country, and its missions in our country - namely, the
visa process. We should tolerate no official value judgement based on
why a person wants to travel to a certain part of the world, and most
definitely not on what one of our students wants to study abroad.

For those of us who don't quite understand where this really absurd
comment from Krishna really comes from, here is the low down. We have
massive class differences in our country. The intellectual upper
class is always going to stare down the less intellectual lower class.
There are no equals in any section of our society, and this is
something we have never come to grips with, particularly post
independence.

A whole section of our population wants to move up the value chain,
but not all of us can realistically aspire to be engineers, doctors or
lawyers, or any of the other professions that the intellectual upper
class has traditionally dominated in numbers. Now, we have an economy
that does indeed need personal trainers, hair stylists, chefs,
hospitality workers, aged care specialists, and thousands of other
professionals, but we are far from recognizing any of them as
"professionals", leave alone treating them as such. Regardless, these
people also need to be as qualified as possible in their professions,
and an education or work stint in a foreign country is always a huge
plus, no matter what part of the world you are in.

Socially, the picture is even more twisted, but still interesting.
Being an average Indian, without a snooty degree in engineering or
medicine, so to say, one is always more likely to be looked down upon,
if one is not very rich. For most of the others, the only way to
compete with the pseudo brainiacs, the only way to gain respect and
claim some lost ground is to get an education abroad, make some money,
maybe even live or settle down abroad, and live "respectably". See
how close so many of our youngsters think they are to this "glorious"
foreign job by working in call centres with stupid accents and
terrible growth prospects? Working for whitey, sounding like him,
getting paid lousy brownskin wages. We're totally ready for this, but
nobody sees that as being demeaning, since we're going to be a
superfreakingpower by being whitey's maidservant without once entering
his manor! A whole other discussion this would be, indeed.

Yes, this is the whole scenario of indentured labour revisiting us
from the 1830s, when we exported thousands of socially low class
people to British plantations around the world under the biggest con
pulled on our people by the East India Company, many of whose agents
were very much Indian but working for the British. But for many of
these indentured labourers, it was still a better choice to go to some
unknown land, than staying in India under oppressive landlords. The
indentured labourers reached their plantations to find that they were
just slaves replacing black slaves, just after slavery was officially
abolished from British colonies, and soon after landing on the shores
of countries like British Guyana, they realized their promise of a
"better" life was a mirage, but it was still a better choice for them
than to return to India to the shame and ridicule that waited for them
here. Imagine the fun we would have poked at them had they returned.
The only thing worse than being Indian is being an Indian who tried
something and failed.

What has changed today? The agents are Indian, working for Australian
institutions! We are here to export not just the IITians and the
doctors, but also the hair stylists and the nurses and the sports
therapists to be! Now, by suggesting that some of these lines of
study are not as "encouraging" as his esteemed upper class head has
decided, SM Krishna has thrown light on the class division mentality
to our people abroad as well. In fact, he has effectively disowned a
huge section of our students abroad. "Aiyaiyo, I thought I was coming
here to the rescue of our engineers and prestigious students. I
didn't know you were all studying to be Hair Stylists!". What a
message!

It is no secret that upper class Indians abroad aspire to lead lives
very much designed by the white man, and the lower class Indians
continue to hang on to their very "Indian" identity. Now, it is
official! Our own Minister of External Affairs has said, "I'm so
sorry, white people, these students are all pariahs of our society,
and they're definitely not very "encouraging" to us". How brilliant!
In one fell swoop, the Minister of External Affairs has pretty much
said everything the racists who hate Indians already wanted to hear,
playing into the stereotypes of stinky, dirty, low lives. We DISOWNED
our people. And if that is not treason on the part of the Minister of
External Affairs, what is?

Let's not hide behind the diplomatic cloud that Delhi pulls upon
itself at every bloody convenience. S. M. Krishna has absolutely
failed in his duty towards his country with this one blunder. But the
opposition will not be smart enough to sieze this opportunity, for
they are also part of this class warfare and they are, if anything,
even more strongly ready to cater to the upper class in mind and
wealth. NOBODY cares about the lower class of any kind in India.
Ergo, the lower class must run abroad for a better life. Period.

Here is the other side of the coin - what kind of a life do we
actually get to lead in India? Forget the money, forget the job. If
I go to Australia to learn how to be a Hair Stylist, I can also get to
see a lovely country, drive on some beautiful roads, enjoy an outing
or ten on a clean beach, jump into a river without worry of getting
poisoned, get a driver's licence without bribing anyone, buy a car,
enjoy a beer while watching cricket match, fall in love with someone
from a different country and culture, have an affair, and not be
stressed or judged for doing any of this. To a lot many of us, these
things are much more important than being safe right here in India
amidst this chaotic nonsense of everyday "Indian" life.

For far too long have we in India been denied the ability to trust the
simplest human every day experiences - some clean air, some peace and
quiet, reliable water and electricity supply, having some privacy, not
being persecuted for having an opinion, and being able to connect with
other human beings without stress, expectations, or suspicion. Let's
face the truth - India is a very stressful place to live in. Many of
us have adapted to these conditions, but let's not take away from the
most fundamental truth about life in India - it is a bloody compromise
in EVERY way possible. NOTHING in India is the best in the world, and
even the best in India costs too much for most of us to afford. As
soon as we solve one problem, which takes ages in itself, we have ten
others, usually exacerbated by dogma, cancerous stupidity and backed
by the power of a clueless majority.

Going to another country, particularly developed countries like the
USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Germany or even Singapore
or HongKong, definitely has its benefits. The ordinary amongst us can
truly aspire to emigrate to any of these countries and live a life
fundamentally better than we can have in India. THAT Mr. Krishna, is
the reason many of us choose to leave, and that's the reason many of
us won't come back. For doing any of this, one doesn't have to have
an IIT degree.

Even if I work as an ordinary policeman in any self respecting
country, I can trust that my "bulletproof" jacket is indeed capable of
stopping a bullet. Not in India. If I call the police to report my
neighbour's loud behaviour, I wouldn't have to bribe the Inspector to
make the complaint official. Not in India. I can take a walk at 2
AM, just to experience the calm of a Chicago night, but get verbally
abused by ill behaved, impolite, outright abrasive beat policemen in
Bangalore for doing exactly that. India is always just one step away
from anarchy, and this factor alone is enough to discourage many from
staying here.

Shouldn't Mr. Krishna spend some time educating himself on the
realities that people face that enable them to make the choices they
make when they choose to leave India? What kind of an inefficient,
insulated, out of touch clown do you have to be to be "shocked" by
something as simple as finding Indian students studying to be Hair
Stylists in Australia? What's the big deal?

Talk about addressing parents, this guy is a bad joke. Are parents of
Indian kids so ignorant that they would send their children abroad
without even checking on the courses? They KNOW exactly what they are
trying to do - give their children a shot at a life better than they
have had in this country. Their children aren't competing against
Hair Stylists from India. They are competing with out of touch upper
class patronizing powerful people like Mr. Krishna, and their
insulated children with cushy jobs and comfortable homes, social and
financial security, and other "privileges", and they are not likely to
come back to India and look stupid applying for an Indian job with a
Hair Styling degree! They don't CARE about India, because India
doesn't care about them. Get it?

Mr. Krishna, it is not even your job to tell people what country they
should choose to go to, on what pretext. No matter who goes where, it
is YOUR job to take care of them through whatever diplomatic channels
are open to you. That's why your ministry is called Ministry of
External AFFAIRS! It is true, even though it may be unfair - even if
you're not fit for your job it is still your responsibility. It is
NOT your responsibility or indeed any of your business to tell them
what to study and what jobs to look for.

No hair stylist from India has turned terrorist, but an IITian with an
"encouraging" education is in jail for threatening the President of
another country. One child from a lineage of indentured labourers has
even gone on to become the President of a country. His name is Cheddi
Jagan. Please, Mr. Krishna, stop embarrassing us and try to be a
professional. Educate yourself. You won't get beaten or stabbed
while trying to get a job qualification.

- An Indian citizen.

London Dreams, Mumbai weeps.

London Dreams is like many other B-wood movies – about a dream, a fantasy, and a ride that doesn't always have to have its seat bolted to any kind of reality, or in this case, believability.

If three Indians are brought together by fate, even after their lives having taken completely different paths to that point, and the singular higher purpose that binds them is a rock-star performance at an enormously popular stadium like Wembley, we need something more than a concrete structure of a stadium to believe this story – they probably need to sing in English and play music that most of the people coming there would be able to appreciate.

It is not for nothing that Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy are busy making their living in Mumbai, composing music for Hindi movies. If their music was good enough to rock the world at Wembley, they would have been doing that, instead of Mannu, Arjun and Priya.

Granted that neither of these roles are played by Reese Witherspoon or Joaquin Phoenix who would train till they could render perfect performances for a "Walk The Line", granted that London Dreams has come out of the usual pedigree Mumbai cacophony and is meant for the substantially lowered expectations of typical Hindi language cinema audiences that have been mercilessly dumbed down by B-wood. But, given the story – chasing a dream, could one be blamed for expecting more?

If a film depends on its musical numbers to stand out, it needs to have outstanding music. London Dreams doesn't. If it depends on its storyline to be noticed, it has to have a little more than two friends uniting after many years, a little better character motivation than one of them bringing the other to London, and if their friendship was the big mover, then the token girlfriend should go through an experience of her own that is a lot larger than changing hands. None of this is part of this movie called London Dreams which has had a great deal of work done in the promos and the publicity, but very little on the script, as usual.

Scene for scene, you would expect two experienced actors like Ajay Devgan and Salman Khan to easily deliver the undemanding, oversimplified love to anger range of emotions that B-wood cinema invariably spits out mercilessly on its audiences and the director ensures they don't enter any dangerous territories of challenging performances. Everybody is adequately over the top exactly as you could expect from a B movie from B-wood.

Asin's role as always, could have been performed by any girl in B-wood, and she's adequately available to the uninspiring demands this script places on her. Priya is at the centre of a great friendship gone sour, but when there is such a human endeavour in progress like chasing that elusive dream of a great live performance before a big human gathering, how can we burden her with the extra gravity of the personal?

So, the men are allowed to bring the story to its (chrono)logical end, which is rather soothing after the long drawn out indifference to the music and the story. As for the earth shattering moment that brings Arjun down to earth, we all saw it coming, for that is what happens to good guys who went down the wrong path in Hindi movies. They never give us the pleasure of telling us that they had a great time on the dark side, do they? Because they have a reputation to protect – of being ready for the next mediocre film to do the same expected things all over again.

Yet another vague, purposeless, weak kneed, over-hyped, glossed over, noisily promoted offering from B-wood, with nothing special to offer. But then, heck, you can get to see Wembley, and some of us who aren't lucky enough to be sleeping with ear plugs in air conditioned comfort after paying the money to get in, we might even catch glimpses of Paris, Amsterdam and Rome. Want a good movie from B-wood? Dream on.

PS: Sure this was written before the release of the film, as you can tell by the time of this post, but did it make any difference, really? If you've seen the film, please tell me why I should too!

Why are our MIGs crashing?

It's been a while since we were rocked by the Bofors scandal, involving Rajiv Gandhi. Eventually nothing came out of it, and the Bofors guns more than proved their worth in the Kargil conflict, silencing many critics.

However, it would be naive to believe even for a moment, that the Ministry of Defence is in charge of a very corrupt, very damaging, and incredibly expensive machine called the Indian Military. Ask any industry that supplies anything to the Indian Armed Forces and they will tell you how corrupt their dealings invariably are.

From little individual contractors who build websites, to those who manufacture mission critical components, everybody has a tale or two about paying kickbacks, and who ever questions the outflow of the Indian military?

It was distressing enough for me to see an Army officer siphon petrol from his official green Ambassador and fill up his Maruti van, and it doesn't help knowing it is pretty routine for military officers to be "entertained" by private manufacturing firms chasing their decisions for lucrative contracts. It doesn't help knowing first hand that some very good looking Russian women are patriotic enough to show up to canvass for Russian contracts.

"A total number of 22 MIG Aircraft of the Indian Air Force has crashed from April 01, 2006 till date. There were three casualties in these crashes," Defence Minister Mr. A.K. Antony said today. (http://in.news.yahoo.com/139/20090708/808/tnl-air-force-to-have-230-sukhoi-30-mki.html)

It has been a while since Indian manufacturers have filled in for Russian spares for the MIGs. It won't be long before the Sukhois go this route, all in the name of reducing foreign exchange burden. How many Sukhois have to crash and burn, and how many Indians will have to die before we get to the bottom of the problem?

As a nation, we should be ashamed that the bulletproof vests handed out to Mumbai policemen were found not to be bulletproof when the bullets fired by Pakistani terrorists actually hit them. Apparently, the police have even lost that file, indeed with the same impunity that comes with a mass acceptance of corruption and a morass of moral ineptitude that have come to define who we are as Indians.

We set such low standards that we don't really care that a MIG that should be thundering at forty five thousand feet has hit the ground, in all probability due to a technical snag, caused by nothing short of a corrupt supplier. The investigations will drag to a point where it can never be conclusively proved in a court of law that this is the case. With 22 MIGs crashing in three years, we really should be paying this a lot of attention.

But, we won't. We're probably uncaring enough in our apathy to worry about that one sincere pilot whose dream it was to fly a fighter plane in his country's uniform. We're not going to do anything about that policeman who gave his life in vain, for he took a chance upon his trust in his country to have given him a genuinely bulletproof vest.

That is the part that hurts, our inability to trust anything Indian. We fail all too easily. We are spineless and we are dirty in our collective Karma. That is what is depressing about living in this goddamn country. Everything is corruptible. Everything is suspect. Everything is defective. Most of all, we punish those amongst us who care to be uncompromising, and we beat them into submission.

What could possibly go wrong if we changed?

We Indians are racist!

Look! That's what NDTV tells us!





Now, people with Padma Sri awards can do no wrong, can they?

The Communist Debacle.

The CPI (M) is meeting to discuss its poll debacle.

Well, not bad for a discussion that is behind its time by about twenty
five years.

What a laugh that the Left sees itself as the saviour from all our
problems, the ills of our rotten, capitalist, selfish, greedy ways.
Nepal can be forgiven for their democratic innocence in voting the
Maoists to power and wondering why they haven't made any progress one
year later.

India, thankfully, has never taken communism seriously, although we
have our respect for socialism while implementing our own brand of
capitalism. The fact is, capitalism is closest to human nature.
After centuries of evolution, experimentation and enterprise, we
humans love to hoard, we take advantage of opportunity, and we want to
be powerful and wealthy. We also want to be benevolent and insanely
philanthropical when we want to. Capitalism allows all this.

Communism on the other hand tells us we should avoid being rich in
order to help the poor, avoid being strong in order to help the weak.
It appears we should also be advised to remain stupid so we can help
others who are more so. It is so inimical to the growth of the
individual that even the Soviet Union gave up on the idea.

But the fools in the Communist Party of India, just like the
Republican party in the USA, are looking inward in the wrong
direction! They still think they made some mistakes that cost them the
election! Much like a wife who looks within for a reason for her
husband leaving her, it never occurs to the victims of pure choice
that there really IS a choice out there, perhaps.

That's what democracy is all about. Choice. We have choices,
options, ideas, perspectives, and our own personal takes on all of
these. We do not choose communism because it is passe. The results
in Kerala and West Bengal should convince our Communist brothers and
sisters that they are stuck in a mindset that is not quite keeping up
with the rest of the country. To debate on what they did wrong is
about as useful as wondering what sin we committed for the tsunami to
hit us.

To make us choose communism would take a LOT out of us. We have to
stop believing in all the good that capitalism has brought upon us.
Communists have told us for a long time that capitalism breeds greed,
forgetting quite conveniently that communist countries have had some
of the biggest wealth hoarding leaders, provided for dictatorial,
oppressive regimes, and not produced ONE success story!

Prakash Karat doesn't inspire any confidence in me. His mates don't
do much for me either. They all sound so humdrum, out of touch with
today and really, really boring. Imagine having one of them for Prime
Minister. Not happening, Sir.

We don't live our lives worrying about the collective on such
philanthropic terms that we would avoid being rich in order to "help"
the poor. We don't think of what we can do for the whole nation,
until we are okay ourselves. And even then, what is wrong with
selfishness, what is wrong with taking care of ourselves before we
care about others? It is amazing how only apparently frustrated, "not
rich enough" kind of people are the ones that join the Communist
Party!

The poor in our country aren't poor because our rich stole from them.
There just hasn't been enough opportunity. The way to create
opportunity is not through freebies, but through enterprise, education
and encouragement of ideas. For any of this, we should nurture and
celebrate individual success, focus very clearly and unabashedly on
creating opportunity to become insanely wealthy.

Only in a climate of abundance can we really contribute to an
ecosystem capable of creating economic wel being and eventually create
a flourishing country. Communism is busy playing the politics of
prevention. I'm glad we've prevented them from showing up on the
national political landscape. Let's now leave them to analyze their
failures if that is what it takes to keep them out of the way. Here's
a hint - this is not a debacle at the polls, it is a debacle at the
idea level.