It is now official - AR Rahman has apologized for "letting people down" with his song for the Commonwealth Games. Apparently, he is proud of the composition and the anthem. No artist should have to apologize to anybody for having attracted criticism from any quarter, but what composition is he talking about? And what anthem?
What he produced for the CW Games was just plain rubbish. It was sub standard trash and it stood out glaringly. He did not do anything great for Slumdog Millionaire either, but white guys loved it and gave him two Oscars, so that was enough for our dumb (m)asses to cheer him on! Looks like not many even made the attempt to find out Rahman's "Jai Ho" was originally put together for another producer for another film and then plugged into Slumdog Millionaire! Still good enough to win an Oscar!
The Oscar for best song is usually a joke, and it should not take too much research to find what kind of rubbish this category generally attracts. Heard Howard Shore's number for Lord of the Rings? It didn't even feature in the movie, but yes, it won the Oscar too! This category is in itself a joke, but for us Indians, two is always better than one, and coming from whitey, one is better than ALL we have from all non-whiteys!
Now, read this news item from The Hindu.
http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/article832718.ece
This clown Rahman has apparently got great feedback from Australia, England, and all "those" places where they heard the song! Sure, they even understood everything in Hindi, loved the beefcake dancers prancing around in designer cheap white see through outfits with green and saffron gloves, and could not get enough of Rahman's singing to the sky. But wait a minute! They are WHITE people who loved this fucking song! So, how can we criticize Rahman?
How can we suddenly think the Commonwealth Games is an Indian affair, just because it was hosted by India, and 70,000 crores of Indian Rupees were spent for this extravaganza, just because this was supposed to showcase our ability to host such big events? How can it be important to satisfy Indian audiences for just 5 crores as payment? This is all about showing how good we are to whitey, whitey mighty whitey!
Sarcasm apart, I have never seen any Indian artist lick whitey ass as much as Rahman. The reason he doesn't get that kind of exotic adulation from Indians is because he is really no great shit and many of us know it. His music is uninspiring crap most often, and by law of averages, good sound engineering, great processing, and sublime packaging, Rahman can come up with something that "works" once in a while. Frequently enough to keep him in the news. And average enough to sell. Quality is a hard sell, so why even go there?
For whitey, however, who is just discovering popular Indian creative output, Ilayaraja is still not accessible. Rahman is the McDonalds variety that is ready off the shelf. Perfect! So, of course they celebrate him. Ask those geniuses if they even know the music of RD Burman, the incredible talent of Kishore Kumar or Lata Mangeshkar, leave alone Jesudas or Janaki. We haven't even started with our purely classical performers, if you noticed. Our classical musicians do not give a shit, because they are all true artists. They do almost no self promotion, and are too absorbed with their work. That is why they have to be "discovered". To mention a few here would be to mock the rest. They are all gods in an unbelievably exalted pantheon - and it would take someone like the Beatles to even scratch the surface of that.
Is it still difficult for us to see this scam artist who isn't worth shit? Are we deaf? Certainly not. And this waking up is exactly what happened with the Commonwealth Games! There was no whitey to tell us all too soon that Rahman was God! We had to hear his shit for ourselves and use our own brains that were asking us all along, "Is this fucker really that good?"! NO! He was never really "that" good, from any yardstick used to measure this nincompoop pretender. That is the point. He is a product of great management, not one of mercurial talent coming to the fore!
Great music is what evokes the accurate emotion, ecstasy or agony, puts us in the right place as intended by the composer. In movies, this is for supporting the director's vision. When songs are played lovingly years later, regardless of what happened to the memories of the movies, that is a very special accomplishment. Rahman had something going with Roja, a bit with Lagaan, and when really forced to work hard and deliver, with a handful of other films including Rangeela. These are the directors who make him work, not worship him. Check out a film called "Karuthamma" if you really want to see how well disco beats work in a Tamil rural movie. Check out the theme song the same fool came out with for the World Tamil Conference. If you aren't deaf, you'd wish you were.
So why doesn't he produce something like the best he has produced so far? Well, shit! Too much competition there. He is clever enough to make his own niche, hence the first run from Chennai to Mumbai and when the novelty has worn out even there, now onwards to Hollywood. They're broke so they'll buy anything cheap right now. If it is brown skinned with two Oscars, ride the exotic buzz!!
"All my life I had a choice between hate and love. I chose love and I am here," said Rahman after his second Oscar. What hate? What love? Overwhelmed by whitey's generosity, this is what can come out of a rank simpleton in flashy clothes! Awkward and insincere - duh! Exactly what his music almost always is. But he spoke about choosing "love" and how it has brought him here. Like an Oscar award is the greatest thing a musician can possibly aspire for! This damn Oscar is now a phallic aspiration for most Indian producers and directors. It is the ultimate sense of belonging with the best in the world! Indeed American cinema has produced some stalwarts and Shankar will never be as good a director as James Cameron, forget Terrence Malick or Spielberg. To a film maker, this is still a legitimate aspirational goal. But to a musician? Come on!
Rahman has no place in any collective of greatness - plain and simple. The fucker should not even be allowed in the same arenas as the masters, to perform his garbage. We don't even need to criticize the fact that he copies a lot. He isn't even good enough to twist that to something great. He has this one dimensional but easily sold thematic approach of "enthuse, lift up, be patriotic, and sing to the sky", that is wearing real thin. Now, he's apologizing? Jai Ho! Oh, yeah, just in case the ONLY song he made for the CW games was not enough value for money, he performed Jai Ho too! This guy is fast becoming an expert at looking out of place.
Bollywood is still that exotic beast to most of Hollywood. There are enough and more morons there who will take to this, in much the way they will take to Indian food. They will never get to taste anything authentic, but a fair bit of what we choose to export. Rahman is export material. In this case, not good enough for us, but good enough for the white consumer. He is easy to sell, just like a dosa can sell if called an "Indian crepe". God bless him for all the good this brings him, but please let's see him for what he really is - an average performer who's running on empty and pretending like his tank is full. Jai Ho! Otha odi po!
BSK.
PS: Spitting is feedback, in its truest sense.
16 October 2010
06 October 2010
The Opening Ceremony Comedy Show!
Whoever asked for these bloody Commonwealth Games?
Why does our wonderful former president Mr. Abdul Kalam have to have his name twisted to Abdul Kalam Azad by a fumbling idiot called Kalmadi? Why does that same idiot have to talk about a "Prince Diana" attending these games, when she is neither alive nor was ever a prince? Was this idiot even awake while he was filling the microphone with his unprofessional filth?
Why do we have Doordarshan doing something it was never meant to do - covering something live that moves more than its mouth?
This idiot Kalmadi never mentioned athletes amongst the people he extended his "Namaskar" to. For a guy who is reading from a piece of paper, the least he could do was make sure he doesn't swallow words like "Association". He said, "Assoshun" a few times. Clearly he isn't cut out for reading a speech, or mouthing one either. He couldn't do much about falling bridges either.
If an airline pilot with the same level of incompetence performed the equivalent of these tasks in his job, the plane would nosedive, throw its doors open mid-air, choke most of its passengers, catch fire, turn upside down and mow into a hill in a fireball.
Who are these clowns still running that embarrassment of a television channel called Doordarshan? Couldn't they get anybody better than the idiots who were reading out names of countries from the screen, telling us of their populations, and when each country got its independence? Isn't that in itself a reminder of the dark side of the whole "Commonwealth" idea?! I wish they had shown the Brit royals each time we were told about each country's independence from them! I wish we had the humour to be told how many years each country had been looted for by her royal bitching highness BEFORE they got independence. Instead, we were told to notice how "happy!" Prince Charles was, when the Wales contingent showed up. To me, the prick and his entourage looked the same when other contingents showed up too.
How much of a genius would it take to see "swimming" below the flag bearer's name and figure out that that person is a swimmer? Do we really need to have someone telling us that person is an "athlete" when we can read "athletics" below his or her name? Who else is going to show up at a sporting event? A fortune teller?
"Here comes Kenya! All the way from Africa!". Seriously, where else the fuck would the Kenyan contingent come from? Jupiter? Who are these juveniles telling us which country's flag is what colour and informing us, just in case, of this marvel of a projection system that projects the same flag on the aerostat for the same country! Hurrah! We got that right! What kind of fucking nonsense is this? This is not Doordarshan in its year of inception either. The CW Games may be a first, (and hopefully last) for India, but these idiots with the exclusive rights to telecast the CWG have been around for a long, long time. Should they not know their job a little better?
We were also told that the magnificent drummers below were beating the crap out of their contraptions to keep the athletes happy. No shit. I would have thought they were frightening stray lions. Even worse - we never got to hear those drums, because we were filled in with an incessant electronic drumbeat that ran right through the programme. Horrible, unless we got Energizer to sponsor that shit.
Why the fuck do we still refer to Charles as His Royal Highness? He may be to his own people, but not to US! Isn't that the whole POINT of being an independent country? None of the assholes in New Delhi seem to know yet.
And why is Charles talking about peace all over the world? Didn't the Brits send their military monkeys including one of Charlie's sons, to participate in the greatest bomb shag of all time in modern history in Iraq? Peace be damned if it is a Muslim country? Bloody hypocrite son of a bitch.
Who writes these goddamn speeches? "Over the next few days - thousands of athletes will take part in competition" - this came from Pratibha Patil, no less than the President of India. "And my dictionary has thousands of words!". DUH!
Everybody spoke of challenges and how they were overcome. Anybody with a brain bigger than a pea will know that there were NO challenges, just incompetence. If New Delhi was hit by an earthquake measuring 7.4 on the Richter scale, and Kalmadi had to dig himself out of a pile of rubble, drinking urine for 12 days, THAT would have been a challenge. Incomplete building structures and falling bridges are not challenges - they are FAILURES!
A bridge the army built in 6 days stands in place of what could have been built 6 years ago and collapsed. This is not a challenge overcome. This is a rescue act pulled off by professionals.
How have we finally made this event a mega showcase of our delusional powers? How we can fool ourselves that this is some sort of success! We are spending 70,000 crores and making 450 crores. So, this cannot be about money.
If this is about pride, what pride do we need to salvage from Tuvalu, Solomon Islands, St. Vincent and The Grenadines, Lesotho, Malawi, Nauru and a whole host of insignificant countries? Sure, we can showcase this to the other "significant" countries, as our grand spectacle, but seriously, who gives a shit about a country that has more people living below the poverty line than Sub Saharan Africa?
This is also touted as the first "Green" Commonwealth Games. Hello? It's getting its electricity entirely from fossil fuel burning National Thermal Power Corporation. (Who in their own words are "one of the world's cleanest fossil fuel power generator", not "generators". Bad English be damned for now) Who the fuck are we fooling here? Why even utter painfully untruthful rubbish like this? I mean, is the greatest opposition to these games coming from the environmental lobby?
Put all rubbish before our people, beat the drums, do the dance and say JAI HIND! And all is well. No fucking questions asked.
On and on our speeches poured out - ".....diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture. I am sure you will all experience it." NO! What people will experience is what is available to them. There won't be any diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture in the stadium or the village. It will be all security, security, security.
The cultural part - we're fail proof - we have professionals there! It's a good thing there is no quota for Bharatnatyam dancers and Kalari performers. Duds are likely to kill themselves if unleashed in these arenas. All good, nice to see. It doesn't matter how many people understand what is being sung - at the very least we will sing it right. But Oh, Lord! Chaiya Chaiya??? It's a tribute to the common man? Which common man dances on trains with sexy women? If there was one, he would have been danced, not Shah Rukh Khan!
Did I just say we are fail proof with the cultural part? So I am contradicting myself here? Whoever said Bollywood was part of our culture? It is a rowdy beast we have ready for all occasions. For some reason, we showcased a cycle shop. Okay. Then we had politicians campaigning - all part of the Indian landscape one supposes. Fine. But all dancing to Chaiya Chaiya? How the fuck is this a tribute to anything except mediocre unimaginative programming? Mumbai Dabbawalas, with paint dabbas! Fine! The masala chai? Okay. How about showcasing some rapes, molestation in public, burning brides for dowry, illegal mining, and some shitting in the open too!? Oh, we already showed that in the village!
For some reason, right on live television, Two girls fell down doing some acrobatic standing on men's shoulders. Poor things. I hope they got paid for the show they tried to put on.
The biggest of the uncultural, demented, gimmicky clown shows has to be A R Rahman. And who are all those barbaric assholes dancing behind him all the time? Who are those idiots he had behind him with saffron and green gloves and muscular bodies in white chiffon? Bloody beefcakes on the entertainment industry unemployment list? They looked like thugs to me, and do not represent anything but the most mindless things we put together in the name of entertainment. They did not look one bit Indian to me, nor did the stupid song sound Indian. Sure it sounded like Rahman, but was it in any way fit for the show? Whatever happened to Balamurali Krishna and Ilayaraja? They would have put on something magnificent and they would not bow to his royal freaking eyeness as well. Does anybody in the Organizing Commitee even know the real geniuses we have? Heck, Bappida would have belted out something fantastic.
As if the CW song wasn't bad enough, Rahman the copycat had to perform Jai Ho! What the fuck for? The idiot has made this song his go to song. If all else fails, he throws this on your face with that, "I got the Oscar for this. What the fuck do you know?" attitude and regularity. He got paid 5 crores for repeating his old shit?
India, thy middle name used to be mediocrity. Now, thou art, from every part, oozing it.
We're losing it.
BSK.
PS: In hindsight, there was plenty of comedy during the Opening Ceremony. Even beyond all the agony, one had to be swayed by the sheer scale of cacophonic insult unleashed upon us.
Why does our wonderful former president Mr. Abdul Kalam have to have his name twisted to Abdul Kalam Azad by a fumbling idiot called Kalmadi? Why does that same idiot have to talk about a "Prince Diana" attending these games, when she is neither alive nor was ever a prince? Was this idiot even awake while he was filling the microphone with his unprofessional filth?
Why do we have Doordarshan doing something it was never meant to do - covering something live that moves more than its mouth?
This idiot Kalmadi never mentioned athletes amongst the people he extended his "Namaskar" to. For a guy who is reading from a piece of paper, the least he could do was make sure he doesn't swallow words like "Association". He said, "Assoshun" a few times. Clearly he isn't cut out for reading a speech, or mouthing one either. He couldn't do much about falling bridges either.
If an airline pilot with the same level of incompetence performed the equivalent of these tasks in his job, the plane would nosedive, throw its doors open mid-air, choke most of its passengers, catch fire, turn upside down and mow into a hill in a fireball.
Who are these clowns still running that embarrassment of a television channel called Doordarshan? Couldn't they get anybody better than the idiots who were reading out names of countries from the screen, telling us of their populations, and when each country got its independence? Isn't that in itself a reminder of the dark side of the whole "Commonwealth" idea?! I wish they had shown the Brit royals each time we were told about each country's independence from them! I wish we had the humour to be told how many years each country had been looted for by her royal bitching highness BEFORE they got independence. Instead, we were told to notice how "happy!" Prince Charles was, when the Wales contingent showed up. To me, the prick and his entourage looked the same when other contingents showed up too.
How much of a genius would it take to see "swimming" below the flag bearer's name and figure out that that person is a swimmer? Do we really need to have someone telling us that person is an "athlete" when we can read "athletics" below his or her name? Who else is going to show up at a sporting event? A fortune teller?
"Here comes Kenya! All the way from Africa!". Seriously, where else the fuck would the Kenyan contingent come from? Jupiter? Who are these juveniles telling us which country's flag is what colour and informing us, just in case, of this marvel of a projection system that projects the same flag on the aerostat for the same country! Hurrah! We got that right! What kind of fucking nonsense is this? This is not Doordarshan in its year of inception either. The CW Games may be a first, (and hopefully last) for India, but these idiots with the exclusive rights to telecast the CWG have been around for a long, long time. Should they not know their job a little better?
We were also told that the magnificent drummers below were beating the crap out of their contraptions to keep the athletes happy. No shit. I would have thought they were frightening stray lions. Even worse - we never got to hear those drums, because we were filled in with an incessant electronic drumbeat that ran right through the programme. Horrible, unless we got Energizer to sponsor that shit.
Why the fuck do we still refer to Charles as His Royal Highness? He may be to his own people, but not to US! Isn't that the whole POINT of being an independent country? None of the assholes in New Delhi seem to know yet.
And why is Charles talking about peace all over the world? Didn't the Brits send their military monkeys including one of Charlie's sons, to participate in the greatest bomb shag of all time in modern history in Iraq? Peace be damned if it is a Muslim country? Bloody hypocrite son of a bitch.
Who writes these goddamn speeches? "Over the next few days - thousands of athletes will take part in competition" - this came from Pratibha Patil, no less than the President of India. "And my dictionary has thousands of words!". DUH!
Everybody spoke of challenges and how they were overcome. Anybody with a brain bigger than a pea will know that there were NO challenges, just incompetence. If New Delhi was hit by an earthquake measuring 7.4 on the Richter scale, and Kalmadi had to dig himself out of a pile of rubble, drinking urine for 12 days, THAT would have been a challenge. Incomplete building structures and falling bridges are not challenges - they are FAILURES!
A bridge the army built in 6 days stands in place of what could have been built 6 years ago and collapsed. This is not a challenge overcome. This is a rescue act pulled off by professionals.
How have we finally made this event a mega showcase of our delusional powers? How we can fool ourselves that this is some sort of success! We are spending 70,000 crores and making 450 crores. So, this cannot be about money.
If this is about pride, what pride do we need to salvage from Tuvalu, Solomon Islands, St. Vincent and The Grenadines, Lesotho, Malawi, Nauru and a whole host of insignificant countries? Sure, we can showcase this to the other "significant" countries, as our grand spectacle, but seriously, who gives a shit about a country that has more people living below the poverty line than Sub Saharan Africa?
This is also touted as the first "Green" Commonwealth Games. Hello? It's getting its electricity entirely from fossil fuel burning National Thermal Power Corporation. (Who in their own words are "one of the world's cleanest fossil fuel power generator", not "generators". Bad English be damned for now) Who the fuck are we fooling here? Why even utter painfully untruthful rubbish like this? I mean, is the greatest opposition to these games coming from the environmental lobby?
Put all rubbish before our people, beat the drums, do the dance and say JAI HIND! And all is well. No fucking questions asked.
On and on our speeches poured out - ".....diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture. I am sure you will all experience it." NO! What people will experience is what is available to them. There won't be any diverse and beautiful nation with heritage and culture in the stadium or the village. It will be all security, security, security.
The cultural part - we're fail proof - we have professionals there! It's a good thing there is no quota for Bharatnatyam dancers and Kalari performers. Duds are likely to kill themselves if unleashed in these arenas. All good, nice to see. It doesn't matter how many people understand what is being sung - at the very least we will sing it right. But Oh, Lord! Chaiya Chaiya??? It's a tribute to the common man? Which common man dances on trains with sexy women? If there was one, he would have been danced, not Shah Rukh Khan!
Did I just say we are fail proof with the cultural part? So I am contradicting myself here? Whoever said Bollywood was part of our culture? It is a rowdy beast we have ready for all occasions. For some reason, we showcased a cycle shop. Okay. Then we had politicians campaigning - all part of the Indian landscape one supposes. Fine. But all dancing to Chaiya Chaiya? How the fuck is this a tribute to anything except mediocre unimaginative programming? Mumbai Dabbawalas, with paint dabbas! Fine! The masala chai? Okay. How about showcasing some rapes, molestation in public, burning brides for dowry, illegal mining, and some shitting in the open too!? Oh, we already showed that in the village!
For some reason, right on live television, Two girls fell down doing some acrobatic standing on men's shoulders. Poor things. I hope they got paid for the show they tried to put on.
The biggest of the uncultural, demented, gimmicky clown shows has to be A R Rahman. And who are all those barbaric assholes dancing behind him all the time? Who are those idiots he had behind him with saffron and green gloves and muscular bodies in white chiffon? Bloody beefcakes on the entertainment industry unemployment list? They looked like thugs to me, and do not represent anything but the most mindless things we put together in the name of entertainment. They did not look one bit Indian to me, nor did the stupid song sound Indian. Sure it sounded like Rahman, but was it in any way fit for the show? Whatever happened to Balamurali Krishna and Ilayaraja? They would have put on something magnificent and they would not bow to his royal freaking eyeness as well. Does anybody in the Organizing Commitee even know the real geniuses we have? Heck, Bappida would have belted out something fantastic.
As if the CW song wasn't bad enough, Rahman the copycat had to perform Jai Ho! What the fuck for? The idiot has made this song his go to song. If all else fails, he throws this on your face with that, "I got the Oscar for this. What the fuck do you know?" attitude and regularity. He got paid 5 crores for repeating his old shit?
India, thy middle name used to be mediocrity. Now, thou art, from every part, oozing it.
We're losing it.
BSK.
PS: In hindsight, there was plenty of comedy during the Opening Ceremony. Even beyond all the agony, one had to be swayed by the sheer scale of cacophonic insult unleashed upon us.
02 October 2010
The VERDICT - you cannot have the truth!
The BJP today condemned Home Minister Chidambaram's statement that the famous Ayodhya title suit verdict of the Allahabad High Court has nothing to do with the demolition of the Babri Masjid which remains a criminal act. The BJP does not want the Home Minister to say something like this, because the matter is before the court. Apparently, an act of vandalism that ends in the destruction of a historical monument, is not obvious enough for the BJP to accept someone calling it a criminal act, even if it were a matter of opinion.
Despite the hope we can have in the Supreme Court, the most dangerous precedent has however, been set by the Allahabad High Court. By giving even the slightest legitimacy to matters of faith, it has chosen belief over truth, by deciding not to go purely with facts. The "verdict" - to split the disputed land in 3, equally, amongst the litigants disputing its ownership, is in itself, perhaps the most uncontroversial settlement it could have prescribed, but that sort of "commonsense wisdom" is meant for people's courts, not for a high court.
The "law" as we have subscribed to, by being a democratic nation, is written in letters, not in beliefs, and not in our judgement of how the verdicts may play with emotions and feelings of communities too vested in their beliefs. The court is equipped to deal with facts, not beliefs. If someone now comes up with an empirical evidence to disprove the existence of God, then what happens? Our legal systems should be impervious to these situations.
Where are the facts that can establish to whom this land belongs? What do we do if we cannot arrive at those facts? Simply ask for more evidence, it is that simple. Wait until the evidence shows up and if it does not, rule in favour of status quo and throw out the litigation(s). That is all a court has to do. Has the Allahabad High Court done that? It has gone a step further, without fulfilling its fundamental duty. It has chosen, very strangely, to bring a settlement into play, without making the law take its course. It has chosen to quell the "problem", instead of ending the dispute.
This "settlement" verdict, even more bizarrely, is the sort of thing that much lower courts, like Panchayat courts, resort to. That is the expectation there, and they are immensely qualified to do so, through an informal jury that usually know the parties in the dispute rather well, and the entrusting of the judgement is left to some wise "counsel", usually the older citizens of a village. These are the courts that order stripping people naked, honour killings, revenge rapes, public humiliation, and other inhuman punishments, that are clearly unconstitutional and highly illegal.
The courts of the more formal legal "system" have lawyers, to interpret, clarify, and sometimes enforce the "law". It is a very rational profession, that depends on volumes of "Indian Law" that many are students and practitioners of. It is an evolving set of laws, but at any given point in time, "Indian Law" exists as an edict in written form. God is not called upon to enforce it. Our law enforcement agencies are. If we were to consider beliefs, religious sentiments and such irrational subjects in a court sworn to uphold the "law", we should have religious leaders, psychics, tantriks, priests, mullahs and such working in courts, not lawyers, advocates and judges!
In its most fundamental essence, the job of a court is to uphold the "law", not even attempt to deliver "justice" even as it pronounces judgement. If there is no evidence, the alleged murderer walks free! How many times have we seen this happen? It is the only way the "law" works. If the law is found inadequate to deal with a certain dispute, the case rests, sometimes indefinitely.
We as a nation, have unwittingly, stepped onto the slippery slope of legitimizing the irrational and given it the status of equal consideration with objective truths. For this alone, we will have to pay a very heavy price. "Satyameva Jayate" is not true in this case, do we even realize?
By the precedent set by this verdict, credibility is given to events that supposedly took place hundreds of years before INDIA came into existence, on the 15th of August 1947. The title suit itself is only about who the 2.7acres of land in Ayodhya belongs to, but the three way split laid out by the "verdict", based on some place of worship having existed there many hundred years ago, over which supposedly another place of worship was built, also years before India came into existence, borders on absolute madness. Even more bizarrely, madness is what is supposedly being avoided right now by this immature "compromise".
This was never about Hinduism or Islam or what people believe in. This should always have been about the law of the land. What if somebody gets it into their head now, that their ancestors' temple or an entire civilization's ancestral, historical or religious wealth is buried beneath the Parliament building? How about beneath the Rashtrapathi Bhavan or the Taj Mahal? Shall we demolish these buildings and wait for another verdict to tell us whether that is criminal or not? Clearly there is no end to this kind of nonsense.
What would it take for the nation to please step away from juvenile utterances of "India First" and other such nonsense, and take note that what is under attack here is not the freedom to have beliefs, or practise religion, but the very basis of what a "nation" stands for? The Constitution of India does not have a "God" concept in it. It is a very mature document, and one that we have all, by being citizens of India, by choice or by rude or convenient destiny, subscribe to. We swear allegiance to this document each time we use Indian currency, apply for a passport, or show our identity to avail a service. All this exists, because we, the bona fide citizens of this collective called "India", have chosen to define ourselves by writing down (not believing in) what constitutes and defines India. This very definition is under attack here now that we are opening the doors for revisionist historians armed with useless rhetoric, beliefs, dogma, and an inarticulate sense of being "Indian" that is clearly not recognizable by our Constitution.
It might be very challenging for some of us to even get involved with an issue of this nature, to even invest the thought to understand what is at play here. Surely, there have been no riots, so this must be a good thing? By that logic, it must be a good thing that hundreds of our women are getting raped on a daily basis, children kidnapped and sold, and spurious medicines are killing thousands of us. Heck, no riots!
This is about the whole idea of a "nation" that is being challenged here, and the Allahabad High Court, somehow, right now, has chosen to do what it should have recommended for the three litigants to do in an out of court settlement, and fallen well below applying the law of this land to clearly state the ownership of the piece of land, which was, by the way, never split in its ownership in any time in history!
What do we stand for as a nation? Do we take our laws seriously? Do we respect our Constitution? Do our leaders stand for the oaths they take? Do we have ANYTHING at all that is sacred to us as citizens of this nation? If we say "yes" to any of the above, then we must realize that religion is at best a personal matter, and even when it is a matter of community, it still cannot be given enough legitimacy to become a matter of the nation.
If we are about to embark upon a mission to right all the wrongs of Indian history, why don't we agree to agree to smash every structure that stands today to see what lies beneath? Surely, this would bring ALL truths from our past out in the open, and we can build a new India, maybe even a shining one, from scratch! Our lawyers would be delighted with millions of lawsuits! They might actually have to ask for God's help to handle the sheer volume of work!
Please be disturbed. Be very, very disturbed if you understand the gravity of this new issue - of the judiciary choosing to mete out a settlement instead of the truth it should always pursue. Who are we going to rely on now to uphold the law?
BSK.
Despite the hope we can have in the Supreme Court, the most dangerous precedent has however, been set by the Allahabad High Court. By giving even the slightest legitimacy to matters of faith, it has chosen belief over truth, by deciding not to go purely with facts. The "verdict" - to split the disputed land in 3, equally, amongst the litigants disputing its ownership, is in itself, perhaps the most uncontroversial settlement it could have prescribed, but that sort of "commonsense wisdom" is meant for people's courts, not for a high court.
The "law" as we have subscribed to, by being a democratic nation, is written in letters, not in beliefs, and not in our judgement of how the verdicts may play with emotions and feelings of communities too vested in their beliefs. The court is equipped to deal with facts, not beliefs. If someone now comes up with an empirical evidence to disprove the existence of God, then what happens? Our legal systems should be impervious to these situations.
Where are the facts that can establish to whom this land belongs? What do we do if we cannot arrive at those facts? Simply ask for more evidence, it is that simple. Wait until the evidence shows up and if it does not, rule in favour of status quo and throw out the litigation(s). That is all a court has to do. Has the Allahabad High Court done that? It has gone a step further, without fulfilling its fundamental duty. It has chosen, very strangely, to bring a settlement into play, without making the law take its course. It has chosen to quell the "problem", instead of ending the dispute.
This "settlement" verdict, even more bizarrely, is the sort of thing that much lower courts, like Panchayat courts, resort to. That is the expectation there, and they are immensely qualified to do so, through an informal jury that usually know the parties in the dispute rather well, and the entrusting of the judgement is left to some wise "counsel", usually the older citizens of a village. These are the courts that order stripping people naked, honour killings, revenge rapes, public humiliation, and other inhuman punishments, that are clearly unconstitutional and highly illegal.
The courts of the more formal legal "system" have lawyers, to interpret, clarify, and sometimes enforce the "law". It is a very rational profession, that depends on volumes of "Indian Law" that many are students and practitioners of. It is an evolving set of laws, but at any given point in time, "Indian Law" exists as an edict in written form. God is not called upon to enforce it. Our law enforcement agencies are. If we were to consider beliefs, religious sentiments and such irrational subjects in a court sworn to uphold the "law", we should have religious leaders, psychics, tantriks, priests, mullahs and such working in courts, not lawyers, advocates and judges!
In its most fundamental essence, the job of a court is to uphold the "law", not even attempt to deliver "justice" even as it pronounces judgement. If there is no evidence, the alleged murderer walks free! How many times have we seen this happen? It is the only way the "law" works. If the law is found inadequate to deal with a certain dispute, the case rests, sometimes indefinitely.
We as a nation, have unwittingly, stepped onto the slippery slope of legitimizing the irrational and given it the status of equal consideration with objective truths. For this alone, we will have to pay a very heavy price. "Satyameva Jayate" is not true in this case, do we even realize?
By the precedent set by this verdict, credibility is given to events that supposedly took place hundreds of years before INDIA came into existence, on the 15th of August 1947. The title suit itself is only about who the 2.7acres of land in Ayodhya belongs to, but the three way split laid out by the "verdict", based on some place of worship having existed there many hundred years ago, over which supposedly another place of worship was built, also years before India came into existence, borders on absolute madness. Even more bizarrely, madness is what is supposedly being avoided right now by this immature "compromise".
This was never about Hinduism or Islam or what people believe in. This should always have been about the law of the land. What if somebody gets it into their head now, that their ancestors' temple or an entire civilization's ancestral, historical or religious wealth is buried beneath the Parliament building? How about beneath the Rashtrapathi Bhavan or the Taj Mahal? Shall we demolish these buildings and wait for another verdict to tell us whether that is criminal or not? Clearly there is no end to this kind of nonsense.
What would it take for the nation to please step away from juvenile utterances of "India First" and other such nonsense, and take note that what is under attack here is not the freedom to have beliefs, or practise religion, but the very basis of what a "nation" stands for? The Constitution of India does not have a "God" concept in it. It is a very mature document, and one that we have all, by being citizens of India, by choice or by rude or convenient destiny, subscribe to. We swear allegiance to this document each time we use Indian currency, apply for a passport, or show our identity to avail a service. All this exists, because we, the bona fide citizens of this collective called "India", have chosen to define ourselves by writing down (not believing in) what constitutes and defines India. This very definition is under attack here now that we are opening the doors for revisionist historians armed with useless rhetoric, beliefs, dogma, and an inarticulate sense of being "Indian" that is clearly not recognizable by our Constitution.
It might be very challenging for some of us to even get involved with an issue of this nature, to even invest the thought to understand what is at play here. Surely, there have been no riots, so this must be a good thing? By that logic, it must be a good thing that hundreds of our women are getting raped on a daily basis, children kidnapped and sold, and spurious medicines are killing thousands of us. Heck, no riots!
This is about the whole idea of a "nation" that is being challenged here, and the Allahabad High Court, somehow, right now, has chosen to do what it should have recommended for the three litigants to do in an out of court settlement, and fallen well below applying the law of this land to clearly state the ownership of the piece of land, which was, by the way, never split in its ownership in any time in history!
What do we stand for as a nation? Do we take our laws seriously? Do we respect our Constitution? Do our leaders stand for the oaths they take? Do we have ANYTHING at all that is sacred to us as citizens of this nation? If we say "yes" to any of the above, then we must realize that religion is at best a personal matter, and even when it is a matter of community, it still cannot be given enough legitimacy to become a matter of the nation.
If we are about to embark upon a mission to right all the wrongs of Indian history, why don't we agree to agree to smash every structure that stands today to see what lies beneath? Surely, this would bring ALL truths from our past out in the open, and we can build a new India, maybe even a shining one, from scratch! Our lawyers would be delighted with millions of lawsuits! They might actually have to ask for God's help to handle the sheer volume of work!
Please be disturbed. Be very, very disturbed if you understand the gravity of this new issue - of the judiciary choosing to mete out a settlement instead of the truth it should always pursue. Who are we going to rely on now to uphold the law?
BSK.
29 September 2010
An APPEAL for inaction?
Various "leaders" of our great country have come out and appealed for peace, harmony, and the prime minister himself has even asked for "tranquility" in the wake of the expected verdict of the Allahabad High Court over the title suit of the land on which the Babri Masjid once stood.
Right this moment, we don't have a great deal of peace or harmony in our country and tranquility can only come with a tranquilizer to most of us, but we're certainly not ready subscribers to riots, disharmony or destruction. We're too lazy for any of that because it takes initiative and action, but that is something else.
What I feel deeply insulted by is the assumption of our leaders across all parties and persuasions that we really give a fuck about this verdict of a piece of land being politicized by some idiots up north. I cannot believe the lunatics who have the time for this shit. We just flushed 70,000 crores into something called the Commonwealth games in which the average Indian does not have a damn to gain, and we didn't give a fuck, so why will we get angry if a piece of land goes to a mosque or a temple?
Our elected leaders must have such a twisted picture of us in their minds. Us - the average, everyday Indians. This picture must be so twisted or Disney cute in their minds that they must imagine we're not capable of any sophisticated thought, and that we would collectively rise to dispute whatever verdict comes out, knowing fully well that the damn verdict is going straight to the Supreme Court one way or the other!
Doesn't the average Indian have anything better to do? A whole generation has come to pass since that deplorable monkey dance breaking fest that took down the Babri Masjid. We didn't really give a shit then, and we didn't give a shit even when that day was supposedly avenged by the fanatics on the Muslim bench through terrorist attacks.
We have thrown out the BJP lock stock and barrel because of their dogmatic and zealous religious nonsense, and really shown the door to pretty much everything that threatens any fabric of this idea called India. The average Indian does not have to be appealed to in order to maintain what he knows to maintain - status quo. If we should be woken up, forced into action, forced into virulent, violent action, then, we need to hear this sort of appeal. Not if we need to let bygones be bygones - that from our inherent apathy, comes naturally to us.
Even this apathetic status quo has come at a price. We have seen every issue in this country be politicized. We have seen every idealistic notion be torn to shreds by rotten politicians, most of whom we would not even hire to feed our dogs in our absence, leave alone water the garden. We know the stench of corruption and cheap behaviour when the flame of the Commonwealth games is snatched by politicians hungry for TV time and our athletes don't even get to touch it.
We're demonstrating every single day how much crap we put up with, when our champion boxer's bed collapses at the games village, and there is not one day in 365 when all our trains may run on time. By the way, they did, during the infamous Emergency period! We're a country where the most normal shit happens normally only during a period called "Emergency". So, why the fuck would we give a shit about some abnormal historic shit that happened well before we became this nation called India?
Some of us do, for sure. But these are the monkeys in the political parties that want to return India to prehistoric days of glory. Not many of them realize that history in those days was very probably written by historians paid by the kings themselves. Or else, what are the chances of all 537 kings in India being generous, thoughtful, wise and helpful to people? They even fucking planted trees and dug ditches, encouraged sculpture, arts, and scientific research and medicine, and had this phenomenal grasp of astronomy, philosophy and what not. So how come we're such a fucked up country now? All fucking bullshit. Hedonistic rascals would have made sure their in-house historians wrote good things about them. There must have been the occasional great ruler, but most of the kings in this land must have been fornicating big time when everything went to ruin around them.
We the people of democratic India, trust a new set of leaders every now and then. We trust them to be smart, somewhat capable, and short of raping our mothers and burning our homes, we are okay with them looting and plundering this country in every way possible. They don't seem to know us at all, because, hey ho! They're not even freaking interested in us! If we disrupt normal life because of some inspirational uprising, it might be a problem for the real looters to get in on their usual action. That is all this appeal is for - "Oh, people of India, don't let this pesky little verdict suddenly make you pay any attention!"
I am pissed mad because this appeal is being made at all. It is an insult to the peace loving nature of the average Indian. Our peace is invaded on a daily basis because of corruption, bribes being demanded, infrastructure not working properly, and nobody in government being held accountable. It does NOT get invaded by a stupid verdict that decides who gets a piece of land, especially when that land is small in size, invisible to the vast majority of the population, and in any extreme situation, is going to hold a piece of worship. We're not zealots. We don't give a shit. And for once, I am proud of this.
BSK.
Right this moment, we don't have a great deal of peace or harmony in our country and tranquility can only come with a tranquilizer to most of us, but we're certainly not ready subscribers to riots, disharmony or destruction. We're too lazy for any of that because it takes initiative and action, but that is something else.
What I feel deeply insulted by is the assumption of our leaders across all parties and persuasions that we really give a fuck about this verdict of a piece of land being politicized by some idiots up north. I cannot believe the lunatics who have the time for this shit. We just flushed 70,000 crores into something called the Commonwealth games in which the average Indian does not have a damn to gain, and we didn't give a fuck, so why will we get angry if a piece of land goes to a mosque or a temple?
Our elected leaders must have such a twisted picture of us in their minds. Us - the average, everyday Indians. This picture must be so twisted or Disney cute in their minds that they must imagine we're not capable of any sophisticated thought, and that we would collectively rise to dispute whatever verdict comes out, knowing fully well that the damn verdict is going straight to the Supreme Court one way or the other!
Doesn't the average Indian have anything better to do? A whole generation has come to pass since that deplorable monkey dance breaking fest that took down the Babri Masjid. We didn't really give a shit then, and we didn't give a shit even when that day was supposedly avenged by the fanatics on the Muslim bench through terrorist attacks.
We have thrown out the BJP lock stock and barrel because of their dogmatic and zealous religious nonsense, and really shown the door to pretty much everything that threatens any fabric of this idea called India. The average Indian does not have to be appealed to in order to maintain what he knows to maintain - status quo. If we should be woken up, forced into action, forced into virulent, violent action, then, we need to hear this sort of appeal. Not if we need to let bygones be bygones - that from our inherent apathy, comes naturally to us.
Even this apathetic status quo has come at a price. We have seen every issue in this country be politicized. We have seen every idealistic notion be torn to shreds by rotten politicians, most of whom we would not even hire to feed our dogs in our absence, leave alone water the garden. We know the stench of corruption and cheap behaviour when the flame of the Commonwealth games is snatched by politicians hungry for TV time and our athletes don't even get to touch it.
We're demonstrating every single day how much crap we put up with, when our champion boxer's bed collapses at the games village, and there is not one day in 365 when all our trains may run on time. By the way, they did, during the infamous Emergency period! We're a country where the most normal shit happens normally only during a period called "Emergency". So, why the fuck would we give a shit about some abnormal historic shit that happened well before we became this nation called India?
Some of us do, for sure. But these are the monkeys in the political parties that want to return India to prehistoric days of glory. Not many of them realize that history in those days was very probably written by historians paid by the kings themselves. Or else, what are the chances of all 537 kings in India being generous, thoughtful, wise and helpful to people? They even fucking planted trees and dug ditches, encouraged sculpture, arts, and scientific research and medicine, and had this phenomenal grasp of astronomy, philosophy and what not. So how come we're such a fucked up country now? All fucking bullshit. Hedonistic rascals would have made sure their in-house historians wrote good things about them. There must have been the occasional great ruler, but most of the kings in this land must have been fornicating big time when everything went to ruin around them.
We the people of democratic India, trust a new set of leaders every now and then. We trust them to be smart, somewhat capable, and short of raping our mothers and burning our homes, we are okay with them looting and plundering this country in every way possible. They don't seem to know us at all, because, hey ho! They're not even freaking interested in us! If we disrupt normal life because of some inspirational uprising, it might be a problem for the real looters to get in on their usual action. That is all this appeal is for - "Oh, people of India, don't let this pesky little verdict suddenly make you pay any attention!"
I am pissed mad because this appeal is being made at all. It is an insult to the peace loving nature of the average Indian. Our peace is invaded on a daily basis because of corruption, bribes being demanded, infrastructure not working properly, and nobody in government being held accountable. It does NOT get invaded by a stupid verdict that decides who gets a piece of land, especially when that land is small in size, invisible to the vast majority of the population, and in any extreme situation, is going to hold a piece of worship. We're not zealots. We don't give a shit. And for once, I am proud of this.
BSK.
22 August 2010
Kumble, Harsha, Corporate India and Cricket India.
This bumbling idiot Harsha Bhogle has been at it for some time now - throwing out tentative ideas and hoping some hooks will find biters. Given the number of idiots in India, it is not surprising this fool even has a fan base! But enough is enough, because....
He now suggests (the best of) corporate India should help India's cricketers. Since when did corporate India get this claim on excellence? The Indian cricket team is the #1 ranked cricket team in the world in Tests and is nearly there in ODIs. Where is corporate India? Isn't this a bit like a pujari advising Gautama Buddha? And Kumble apparently wants to help young cricketers! What the heck for?
http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/473310.html
Corporate India is about hiding incompetence behind a facade of professionalism. It is about rank incompetence in numbers pretending like it can do a job. Show me ONE achievement of corporate India that is unique, pathbreaking, an example for the world to follow, and has changed the lives of many people positively. I can tell you without flinching that Kapil Dev single handedly inspired millions, changed our outlook towards life, and gave us something no corporate motherfucking world conquering gameplaying suitwearing cocksucking high flying asshole has ever given - hope in ourselves. Kapil did that, without ever resorting to anything boring.
Without the cursing, here is why Harsha should not have this job of writing trash and getting paid. Here is the clearest difference between what corporate ethos is about and the ethos of a sportsperson. Corporations are all about the collective. Sports is about the individual, yes, even in team games. You can hide a lousy employee, but you cannot hide a lousy sportsperson. Mediocrity can pass in an office, on the field it will be mercilessly exposed. You can hang on to a company for life just by not becoming offensive. Most sports teams get rid of players very quickly without performances. The yardstick for a sportsperson is being the best in the world. The yardstick for a company is its bottomline - it doesn't have to be better than anyone in order to survive. (Come on! No matter what you argue against this, does it really take a Tata to make salt?). There is no glare on one failure in the corporate world. In fact, there is no glare on many collective failures either. On the sportsperson, the glare is intense, and merciless. It is not surprising how Harsha and his wife have talked about how corporations can learn from sports. That's the way it should be. Now, for some monkey's finger in the ass reason, Harsha thinks our corporations can teach cricket. No, Harsha. Corporations can own cricket but they cannot really do much about producing better cricketers, even at the human level.
First of all, why do we want our cricketers to be good human beings? Is that something we care about if he can crunch a batsman's toe, or whack the ball out of the stadium? The most primal thing about sport is that it is essentially physical. Do we have a problem with this? Then we should not watch sports or take any interest in it. But we do, and not only do we do, there are fools like Harsha who think sportsmen should lead their lives a certain "ideal" way. Nice guys are not who we want in sports. We want winners. Once in a while, there will be an MS Dhoni, a pretty nice guy who stays cool, talks well, and is above board as far as ethics go. But we won't love him for any of that if he can't whack the crap out of a cricket ball and lead his Team India to giddy achievements.
Why is it that we cannot celebrate pure brilliance and always have to reduce the mercurial to the accessible mediocrity of a "regular" person. The "regular" or "good" people are not interesting. Celebrities are supposed to be interesting people. Let them have their characteristics. What is so hard to understand about this?
For one, we should dread Anil Kumble having anything to do with Indian cricket or young cricketers. It is all good that he was a hard working cricketer, a fierce competitor, took his moustache off, and is now leading the RCB in the IPL. Ah! The last part should really rattle us. And this is where I beg to differ from Harsha's enthusiastic endorsement of Kumble wanting to work with India's youngsters in grooming them and helping them prepare for life as youngsters. Preparing for life as humdrum, grimacing also rans? No thanks! What worked for Kumble will not work for others who don't come from where he does.
Moreover, and more importantly, Kumble is not Kapil Dev. He does not inspire. His statistics are awesome, but the very fact that he is a disciplined, focused and beady eyed competitor also means that he is like many school teachers with several degrees and the intent to make you look up to them. Truth is, this is EXACTLY the kind of monster most of our young cricketers will be glad to not be under. That is why they are playing cricket, not pursuing studies!
In the last edition of the IPL, Kumble was playing with rich kids. Kids who could become millionaires with one big innings, one inspired spell of bowling lasting no more than 4 overs, and kids who could become heroes or zeroes before the game ended, only to come back to life and the limelight shortly after in the very next game. Kumble was the old school leader. But was he graceful? Only if you left the letters d, i, and s out at the start. He removed the one thing that RCB had in shortage to start with - enthusiasm. Under Kumble, the team did better than it did under Pietersen, but that is not saying much.
Kumble was angry, yelling around, not able to handle pressure, rude to the youngsters on the field, and finally, when the tense moments came, came up short. On one occasion, it was the last over, and Kumble was batting with the tail, with a few tight runs to get. He took a single and went to the non strikers end. Then, he saw the kid at the other end play and miss a couple, went over to advice him, and guess what? He was bowled the very next ball! Seriously, what is there to tell a tailender when 4 is needed off 1 ball? This isn't bad captaincy, or strategy - it is the symptom of a control freak, who has set ways of doing things, and thinks he can will it out of his wards. The schoolmaster at his worst!
This is not the moron we want grooming our youngsters to handle their professional, personal or business affairs. Most certainly not their "lives". What is that going to be - a paid father job? A job that will take all the fun out of being out in the open, bowling, batting or fielding? That is all cricket is, isn't it? Isn't it the team that does these three things that wins? So, what exactly does Kumble have to do, since he can't teach others to bowl like him, doesn't know how to bat, and is a lousy fielder?
Harsha thinks our youngsters need to be taught how to handle success! Sure, but not by sore losers. Kumble not once happily acknowledged how good another team was when his team was beaten. Being sore and serious, and looking constantly agitated, constipated, disgruntled and aggravated is hardly the way to handle life and this is hardly the moron who should be helping our youngsters become anything like this.
So what if our youngsters don't take life so seriously? They are much more fun than this schoolmaster prick! Fun is what cricket is. It is just a game, for fuck's sake! Who are these idiots who are busy suggesting that fun be taken out of life? We need all the entertainment we get out of something like the IPL, and that is why we pay, and that is why it is rich. I don't grudge any of our kids striking it rich in one season and vanishing the next. His purpose, his dharma, was to burn bright for that one season? So be it! I don't want to see everyone becoming the dull lamp that glows for a hundred years!
Chennai doesn't have any of this scholastic disciplinarian, or corporate management shit. But they are a happy team that rose from 7th place and won the IPL. They are the MOST consistent team in the IPL. Dhoni keeps it simple and kids respond. End of story. The results are there to show. Dhoni is the man and the men in yellow are the happiest team. They even won the Fairplay Award, so they're not stressing out either. Harsha and Kumble, learn from MSD and keep your fucking traps shut.
BSK
He now suggests (the best of) corporate India should help India's cricketers. Since when did corporate India get this claim on excellence? The Indian cricket team is the #1 ranked cricket team in the world in Tests and is nearly there in ODIs. Where is corporate India? Isn't this a bit like a pujari advising Gautama Buddha? And Kumble apparently wants to help young cricketers! What the heck for?
http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/473310.html
Corporate India is about hiding incompetence behind a facade of professionalism. It is about rank incompetence in numbers pretending like it can do a job. Show me ONE achievement of corporate India that is unique, pathbreaking, an example for the world to follow, and has changed the lives of many people positively. I can tell you without flinching that Kapil Dev single handedly inspired millions, changed our outlook towards life, and gave us something no corporate motherfucking world conquering gameplaying suitwearing cocksucking high flying asshole has ever given - hope in ourselves. Kapil did that, without ever resorting to anything boring.
Without the cursing, here is why Harsha should not have this job of writing trash and getting paid. Here is the clearest difference between what corporate ethos is about and the ethos of a sportsperson. Corporations are all about the collective. Sports is about the individual, yes, even in team games. You can hide a lousy employee, but you cannot hide a lousy sportsperson. Mediocrity can pass in an office, on the field it will be mercilessly exposed. You can hang on to a company for life just by not becoming offensive. Most sports teams get rid of players very quickly without performances. The yardstick for a sportsperson is being the best in the world. The yardstick for a company is its bottomline - it doesn't have to be better than anyone in order to survive. (Come on! No matter what you argue against this, does it really take a Tata to make salt?). There is no glare on one failure in the corporate world. In fact, there is no glare on many collective failures either. On the sportsperson, the glare is intense, and merciless. It is not surprising how Harsha and his wife have talked about how corporations can learn from sports. That's the way it should be. Now, for some monkey's finger in the ass reason, Harsha thinks our corporations can teach cricket. No, Harsha. Corporations can own cricket but they cannot really do much about producing better cricketers, even at the human level.
First of all, why do we want our cricketers to be good human beings? Is that something we care about if he can crunch a batsman's toe, or whack the ball out of the stadium? The most primal thing about sport is that it is essentially physical. Do we have a problem with this? Then we should not watch sports or take any interest in it. But we do, and not only do we do, there are fools like Harsha who think sportsmen should lead their lives a certain "ideal" way. Nice guys are not who we want in sports. We want winners. Once in a while, there will be an MS Dhoni, a pretty nice guy who stays cool, talks well, and is above board as far as ethics go. But we won't love him for any of that if he can't whack the crap out of a cricket ball and lead his Team India to giddy achievements.
Why is it that we cannot celebrate pure brilliance and always have to reduce the mercurial to the accessible mediocrity of a "regular" person. The "regular" or "good" people are not interesting. Celebrities are supposed to be interesting people. Let them have their characteristics. What is so hard to understand about this?
For one, we should dread Anil Kumble having anything to do with Indian cricket or young cricketers. It is all good that he was a hard working cricketer, a fierce competitor, took his moustache off, and is now leading the RCB in the IPL. Ah! The last part should really rattle us. And this is where I beg to differ from Harsha's enthusiastic endorsement of Kumble wanting to work with India's youngsters in grooming them and helping them prepare for life as youngsters. Preparing for life as humdrum, grimacing also rans? No thanks! What worked for Kumble will not work for others who don't come from where he does.
Moreover, and more importantly, Kumble is not Kapil Dev. He does not inspire. His statistics are awesome, but the very fact that he is a disciplined, focused and beady eyed competitor also means that he is like many school teachers with several degrees and the intent to make you look up to them. Truth is, this is EXACTLY the kind of monster most of our young cricketers will be glad to not be under. That is why they are playing cricket, not pursuing studies!
In the last edition of the IPL, Kumble was playing with rich kids. Kids who could become millionaires with one big innings, one inspired spell of bowling lasting no more than 4 overs, and kids who could become heroes or zeroes before the game ended, only to come back to life and the limelight shortly after in the very next game. Kumble was the old school leader. But was he graceful? Only if you left the letters d, i, and s out at the start. He removed the one thing that RCB had in shortage to start with - enthusiasm. Under Kumble, the team did better than it did under Pietersen, but that is not saying much.
Kumble was angry, yelling around, not able to handle pressure, rude to the youngsters on the field, and finally, when the tense moments came, came up short. On one occasion, it was the last over, and Kumble was batting with the tail, with a few tight runs to get. He took a single and went to the non strikers end. Then, he saw the kid at the other end play and miss a couple, went over to advice him, and guess what? He was bowled the very next ball! Seriously, what is there to tell a tailender when 4 is needed off 1 ball? This isn't bad captaincy, or strategy - it is the symptom of a control freak, who has set ways of doing things, and thinks he can will it out of his wards. The schoolmaster at his worst!
This is not the moron we want grooming our youngsters to handle their professional, personal or business affairs. Most certainly not their "lives". What is that going to be - a paid father job? A job that will take all the fun out of being out in the open, bowling, batting or fielding? That is all cricket is, isn't it? Isn't it the team that does these three things that wins? So, what exactly does Kumble have to do, since he can't teach others to bowl like him, doesn't know how to bat, and is a lousy fielder?
Harsha thinks our youngsters need to be taught how to handle success! Sure, but not by sore losers. Kumble not once happily acknowledged how good another team was when his team was beaten. Being sore and serious, and looking constantly agitated, constipated, disgruntled and aggravated is hardly the way to handle life and this is hardly the moron who should be helping our youngsters become anything like this.
So what if our youngsters don't take life so seriously? They are much more fun than this schoolmaster prick! Fun is what cricket is. It is just a game, for fuck's sake! Who are these idiots who are busy suggesting that fun be taken out of life? We need all the entertainment we get out of something like the IPL, and that is why we pay, and that is why it is rich. I don't grudge any of our kids striking it rich in one season and vanishing the next. His purpose, his dharma, was to burn bright for that one season? So be it! I don't want to see everyone becoming the dull lamp that glows for a hundred years!
Chennai doesn't have any of this scholastic disciplinarian, or corporate management shit. But they are a happy team that rose from 7th place and won the IPL. They are the MOST consistent team in the IPL. Dhoni keeps it simple and kids respond. End of story. The results are there to show. Dhoni is the man and the men in yellow are the happiest team. They even won the Fairplay Award, so they're not stressing out either. Harsha and Kumble, learn from MSD and keep your fucking traps shut.
BSK
15 August 2010
Happy Independence Day!
Today for some reason, Mr. Manmohan Singh, our Prime Minister, sent a “firm” message to Kashmiri youth to give up violence and come to talk. Fat chance, since the security forces there are not talking, they're shooting, and people are dying.
In any case, why this message on this day, which is supposed to celebrate our Independence from foreign rule? What independence? Independence from poverty, illiteracy, dogma, religious perversion, dirty party politics, corruption, human trafficking, disease, a highly inequitable difference between rich and poor, are all yet to come! Ostensibly, we had much less of any of this under British rule, so exactly what have we bought ourselves into?
For some reason, we have offered $5million in assistance to flood ravaged Pakistan, that despicable terrorist breeding, oppressive piece of crap of a neighbour we have. Why in heavens name do we have to make this stupid offer, knowing fully well that most of the money the US gave them for fighting terror have been used to fund terrorist activities against India, and to strengthen military deterrence against us? What kind of dickheads and numbskulls infest the corridors of government power in New Delhi? Are we lunatics? I'd say, let Pakistani leaders who pilfered all the “aid” the USA gave them, in hundreds of millions of dollars to fight terror, now find the $5million to help their own people. Why do we have such a hard time being realistic about our enemies, while not hesitating to celebrate Chanakya?
And now, Pakistan is supposedly “toying” with the idea of accepting our aid only if routed through the UN. So, it takes one more bank account on the way to these egoistic weasels? Well how about our diplomats telling them to get UN approval for their next terrorist strike against us as well? Let's see if we can put that diplomatically - “Our position is that since Pakistan has sought third party involvement in the capacity of an escrow before accepting the friendly offer of monetary aid to flood victims, we would suggest the same third party be utilized for managing Pakistan's next terrorist adventurism against the Indian State. Hitherto, our offer of aid stands cancelled”. In other words, “Fuck You Beggars”. Wouldn't we feel great as Indians just to show some honesty in situations like this?
Now, that begs the question – How come no head of state of ANY country ever gets washed away in flash floods, struck by lightning, crushed in an earthquake, or dies in any natural disaster? It really can't be nature's design to spare presidents and prime ministers. This means, perhaps that it IS possible to take care of ourselves in case of such disasters, but for some reason, we make sure the knowledge or the resources that are in place, keep only the wealthy and the powerful safe! Seriously, would it not be hilarious to read - “US Senator and family killed in landslide that claims 250 lives”? Chances are, any career politician probably never lives close in any sense, to that many people! So, we have our Independence Day and another fucked up year draws to a close. So what's new?
Almost as if by divine design, we have a fiasco over the Commonwealth Games!! The Commonwealth!!! HAHAHAAAA!!! What a cunning term for legal thievery! Notice how the poorer countries in this club never get any benefits but her majesty the queen of england could steal from all over the world? Why the heck were we even angry that she could not attend these games in New Delhi? We're spending thousands of crores on this nonsense and I don't give a fuck about using capitals for these bitches either. Who cares about the hag? Now, that hag is angry that the british royalty is being dragged into matters of corruption because of some silly car rental company being investigated for fraud and the royal bums hired this company for carrying some baton for some insane sum of money! Isn't this the bitch that is sitting on the Kohinoor diamond? Well, how about making her a deal - “You return the Kohinoor, we'll call off this investigation of corruption in the CW games, how about that?”
The other white bitch in Washington, who once flippantly said Mahatma Gandhi worked at a gas station in St. Louis, now says “India and Pakistan have altered the world's nuclear balance!”. Shit, how much balance could have been there during the cold war between two countries that have 10,000+ nuclear warheads in their arsenal, that the few tens that India and Pakistan could have today can disturb? We need to protect 16% of the world's population, and if this shrill whore were to be reminded by our diplomats that if she has 5000 warheads to protect 4% of the world's population, we are entitled to 20,000 warheads, she would shut the fuck up. Her name is Hilary Clinton, and it is time we stopped imagining she is some friend of India's. She is friend of whoever makes her look intelligent, and that sure is never going to be me.
Another rowdy US politician said something today that should have got a tongue lashing from our diplomats. http://www.thelinkpaper.ca/?p=2114 . He called Infosys a “chop shop”, which means, a shop that sells stolen goods, usually referred to a shop that breaks down stolen cars and sells the parts. No matter what Infosys sells, his ass doesn't have to buy in his “free” market, does he? So, why is he even talking about chop shops in the first place? Pretty amazing comment though, about a company that has offices and provides 12,000 jobs in the USA alone! So, are we proud enough to tell this ignorant prick Charles Schumer that we are happy to move our chop shop to Canada? I bet not. Because we have a crap load of our cyber coolies in bonded labour for white bosses. How can we ever let go of that?
Now, none of the above will anger the average Indian very much. Because we are too delicate for any confrontation. We love to be slaves as long as slaves have the “Freedom” to buy into corporate peddled shit, as long as we are told that we are “free people in a free country”. We don't mind our poor people being sold as sex slaves, we don't mind our farmers committing suicide, and we don't give a shit about anything that goes on in this country or elsewhere in the name of this farce called Independence and Freedom.
Listen up, Indians. We are not free until the day you can pick up the phone and call in an injustice and somebody's head rolls by the end of the day. We're not free until the day when we can tell idiots in other countries to shut up and mind their own fucking business when it really is our business. We aren't free until the day our laws are sacred, our work is excellent, and we are all healthy and happy. We're not free until we are rid of every kind of oppression. We aren't free until the day we can do something that, even without a flag painted on it, looks distinctly Indian, and is distinctly beautiful.
We aren't independent from anything, until we are independent from our own apathy. We are a great country, but after 63 years of trying, we still don't have a great nation. It's time to question this bullshit situation. Enough already. Happy Independence Day! Jai Hind.
BSK.
In any case, why this message on this day, which is supposed to celebrate our Independence from foreign rule? What independence? Independence from poverty, illiteracy, dogma, religious perversion, dirty party politics, corruption, human trafficking, disease, a highly inequitable difference between rich and poor, are all yet to come! Ostensibly, we had much less of any of this under British rule, so exactly what have we bought ourselves into?
For some reason, we have offered $5million in assistance to flood ravaged Pakistan, that despicable terrorist breeding, oppressive piece of crap of a neighbour we have. Why in heavens name do we have to make this stupid offer, knowing fully well that most of the money the US gave them for fighting terror have been used to fund terrorist activities against India, and to strengthen military deterrence against us? What kind of dickheads and numbskulls infest the corridors of government power in New Delhi? Are we lunatics? I'd say, let Pakistani leaders who pilfered all the “aid” the USA gave them, in hundreds of millions of dollars to fight terror, now find the $5million to help their own people. Why do we have such a hard time being realistic about our enemies, while not hesitating to celebrate Chanakya?
And now, Pakistan is supposedly “toying” with the idea of accepting our aid only if routed through the UN. So, it takes one more bank account on the way to these egoistic weasels? Well how about our diplomats telling them to get UN approval for their next terrorist strike against us as well? Let's see if we can put that diplomatically - “Our position is that since Pakistan has sought third party involvement in the capacity of an escrow before accepting the friendly offer of monetary aid to flood victims, we would suggest the same third party be utilized for managing Pakistan's next terrorist adventurism against the Indian State. Hitherto, our offer of aid stands cancelled”. In other words, “Fuck You Beggars”. Wouldn't we feel great as Indians just to show some honesty in situations like this?
Now, that begs the question – How come no head of state of ANY country ever gets washed away in flash floods, struck by lightning, crushed in an earthquake, or dies in any natural disaster? It really can't be nature's design to spare presidents and prime ministers. This means, perhaps that it IS possible to take care of ourselves in case of such disasters, but for some reason, we make sure the knowledge or the resources that are in place, keep only the wealthy and the powerful safe! Seriously, would it not be hilarious to read - “US Senator and family killed in landslide that claims 250 lives”? Chances are, any career politician probably never lives close in any sense, to that many people! So, we have our Independence Day and another fucked up year draws to a close. So what's new?
Almost as if by divine design, we have a fiasco over the Commonwealth Games!! The Commonwealth!!! HAHAHAAAA!!! What a cunning term for legal thievery! Notice how the poorer countries in this club never get any benefits but her majesty the queen of england could steal from all over the world? Why the heck were we even angry that she could not attend these games in New Delhi? We're spending thousands of crores on this nonsense and I don't give a fuck about using capitals for these bitches either. Who cares about the hag? Now, that hag is angry that the british royalty is being dragged into matters of corruption because of some silly car rental company being investigated for fraud and the royal bums hired this company for carrying some baton for some insane sum of money! Isn't this the bitch that is sitting on the Kohinoor diamond? Well, how about making her a deal - “You return the Kohinoor, we'll call off this investigation of corruption in the CW games, how about that?”
The other white bitch in Washington, who once flippantly said Mahatma Gandhi worked at a gas station in St. Louis, now says “India and Pakistan have altered the world's nuclear balance!”. Shit, how much balance could have been there during the cold war between two countries that have 10,000+ nuclear warheads in their arsenal, that the few tens that India and Pakistan could have today can disturb? We need to protect 16% of the world's population, and if this shrill whore were to be reminded by our diplomats that if she has 5000 warheads to protect 4% of the world's population, we are entitled to 20,000 warheads, she would shut the fuck up. Her name is Hilary Clinton, and it is time we stopped imagining she is some friend of India's. She is friend of whoever makes her look intelligent, and that sure is never going to be me.
Another rowdy US politician said something today that should have got a tongue lashing from our diplomats. http://www.thelinkpaper.ca/?p=2114 . He called Infosys a “chop shop”, which means, a shop that sells stolen goods, usually referred to a shop that breaks down stolen cars and sells the parts. No matter what Infosys sells, his ass doesn't have to buy in his “free” market, does he? So, why is he even talking about chop shops in the first place? Pretty amazing comment though, about a company that has offices and provides 12,000 jobs in the USA alone! So, are we proud enough to tell this ignorant prick Charles Schumer that we are happy to move our chop shop to Canada? I bet not. Because we have a crap load of our cyber coolies in bonded labour for white bosses. How can we ever let go of that?
Now, none of the above will anger the average Indian very much. Because we are too delicate for any confrontation. We love to be slaves as long as slaves have the “Freedom” to buy into corporate peddled shit, as long as we are told that we are “free people in a free country”. We don't mind our poor people being sold as sex slaves, we don't mind our farmers committing suicide, and we don't give a shit about anything that goes on in this country or elsewhere in the name of this farce called Independence and Freedom.
Listen up, Indians. We are not free until the day you can pick up the phone and call in an injustice and somebody's head rolls by the end of the day. We're not free until the day when we can tell idiots in other countries to shut up and mind their own fucking business when it really is our business. We aren't free until the day our laws are sacred, our work is excellent, and we are all healthy and happy. We're not free until we are rid of every kind of oppression. We aren't free until the day we can do something that, even without a flag painted on it, looks distinctly Indian, and is distinctly beautiful.
We aren't independent from anything, until we are independent from our own apathy. We are a great country, but after 63 years of trying, we still don't have a great nation. It's time to question this bullshit situation. Enough already. Happy Independence Day! Jai Hind.
BSK.
13 August 2010
The usual, rampant, shameless, immature, shrill, robotic bullshit.
SPOILER ALERT:
If you read this (p)review, you are likely to avoid watching "Endhiran".
http://www.thehindu.com/arts/cinema/article566585.ece
For some reason, it is absolutely necessary to bullshit people about an upcoming movie, making it out to be a great freaking, original, stupendous, magnificent, groundbreaking marvel, instead of just telling people the gist of the plot and letting them be blown away by the experience of watching it.
Indian film makers have not yet learnt how to truly make stupendous cinema, no matter how much they have copied from Hollywood, but they sure know how to up the ante on the promotional bullshit that they puke all over us.
Endhiran is no exception, and this nonsense, coming from The Hindu, no less, needs to be torn apart part by part, and shredded for what it is - endless bullshit.
Here is my take on some of this crap.
1. Shankar, the director, is being lauded for being punctual, and he in turn praises Rajinikanth for being punctual! Hello? Aren't all professionals supposed to do this? Even the guy who irons my clothes is very punctual. Does being on time lead to a good film? Of course not. But it is worth putting on this "sincerety" shit for some reason. "Oh, we are all very punctual people, so please see this movie"? A lot of fools who make crappy movies are also punctual. So? Seriously, I don't mind if the director comes drunk if he can make an Avatar, to be honest. In fact, if I know he can make Avatar ONLY if he gets drunk, I'd get him any liquor he wants, and he can come at any time he wants.
2. Endhiran is the country's first sci-fi attempt! ?? This author Malathi Rangarajan, has to be either really lazy, or stupid to imagine we wouldn't check the facts. As recently as 2008, Harry Baweja made a film called "Love Story 2050". In any case, what is so great about being the first to do something in a country, in the world of art? Haven't we already trumpeted how "global" we are!? So, how come we want to go very "local" in this sneaky way while "global" has produced thousands of sci-fi matter? By the way, aren't there plenty of sci-fi elements in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata? Remember arrows welding each other on TV? That was a long time ago, too! Some more bullshit.
3. Oh, please. Sivaji was not a stupendous success. As a ratio of what it cost to make and release the film, the producer would be lucky to have made a marginal profit. The scale of the project was so enormous, it should have collected ten times more. If the producer hasn't made a single film since their last "stupendous" success for a couple of years, what are the chances of this happening because they are still counting the money? More bullshit.
4. Shankar has handled diverse themes? Look a little closer and for some reason, "Gentleman", "Indian", and "Anniyan" all seem to have the same theme - The Individual against the Collective. And what exactly does "completely" original mean? Here's a holler and a hoot. Shankar says "I can't repeat myself. I need challenges" !!!! Here's a challenge for you, Sir - please tell us a good story, and spare us the bullshit. That would definitely mean you are not repeating yourself!
5. "Aishwarya Rai is dedicated and hardworking as a hero". Should we automatically expect her to be a lazy bimbo? "It is superfluous to talk about her screen presence"?? So, would it be profound to talk about her rather limited acting skills? Why can't we have enough integrity to at the very least, leave out this kindergarten level of marketing lousy product? Aishwarya Rai is eye candy. Nobody would have known her as an actress if she hadn't won beauty competitions. Let's leave it at that, shall we? We should already be sick of Shah Rukh Khan selling fairness cream like a gay prostitute. "Ladkiyon wali cream, kabhi nahin!" Ugh.
6. "We have robotic labs and futuristic sets". If a film is called "Robot" in any language, we don't exactly expect palaces and lush verdant valleys, do we? “Endhiran will be a stunning visual experience … I hope,” says the director. What is it with people using adjectives on their own work? Didn't he see what he made? Was it stunning? Considering "stunning" is now a higher bar, set by Avatar? Truth is, this rascal knows it is not that good, but he still could not help bullshitting about it, and then cutting himself short with embarrassment. And the author was stupid enough to publish it like that!
7. And now, the shit that is really missing from this article - What is the story about? Endhiran is about a robot that gradually becomes a human being, I heard. For some reason, that was Terminator, and Terminator two! Or was it too? God, I can think of "Blade Runner" which had a similar concept. In fact, I can think of Robocop as well. If I put some effort, I can think of so many films on this theme. Wonder if Shankar's script leaked out to Hollywood! Thank God their Robots didn't dance to Rahman's music. Now, that must be Shankar's instinctive, "completely original" genius.
And today is Friday the 13th. I swear to God, I ......
BSK.
If you read this (p)review, you are likely to avoid watching "Endhiran".
http://www.thehindu.com/arts/cinema/article566585.ece
For some reason, it is absolutely necessary to bullshit people about an upcoming movie, making it out to be a great freaking, original, stupendous, magnificent, groundbreaking marvel, instead of just telling people the gist of the plot and letting them be blown away by the experience of watching it.
Indian film makers have not yet learnt how to truly make stupendous cinema, no matter how much they have copied from Hollywood, but they sure know how to up the ante on the promotional bullshit that they puke all over us.
Endhiran is no exception, and this nonsense, coming from The Hindu, no less, needs to be torn apart part by part, and shredded for what it is - endless bullshit.
Here is my take on some of this crap.
1. Shankar, the director, is being lauded for being punctual, and he in turn praises Rajinikanth for being punctual! Hello? Aren't all professionals supposed to do this? Even the guy who irons my clothes is very punctual. Does being on time lead to a good film? Of course not. But it is worth putting on this "sincerety" shit for some reason. "Oh, we are all very punctual people, so please see this movie"? A lot of fools who make crappy movies are also punctual. So? Seriously, I don't mind if the director comes drunk if he can make an Avatar, to be honest. In fact, if I know he can make Avatar ONLY if he gets drunk, I'd get him any liquor he wants, and he can come at any time he wants.
2. Endhiran is the country's first sci-fi attempt! ?? This author Malathi Rangarajan, has to be either really lazy, or stupid to imagine we wouldn't check the facts. As recently as 2008, Harry Baweja made a film called "Love Story 2050". In any case, what is so great about being the first to do something in a country, in the world of art? Haven't we already trumpeted how "global" we are!? So, how come we want to go very "local" in this sneaky way while "global" has produced thousands of sci-fi matter? By the way, aren't there plenty of sci-fi elements in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata? Remember arrows welding each other on TV? That was a long time ago, too! Some more bullshit.
3. Oh, please. Sivaji was not a stupendous success. As a ratio of what it cost to make and release the film, the producer would be lucky to have made a marginal profit. The scale of the project was so enormous, it should have collected ten times more. If the producer hasn't made a single film since their last "stupendous" success for a couple of years, what are the chances of this happening because they are still counting the money? More bullshit.
4. Shankar has handled diverse themes? Look a little closer and for some reason, "Gentleman", "Indian", and "Anniyan" all seem to have the same theme - The Individual against the Collective. And what exactly does "completely" original mean? Here's a holler and a hoot. Shankar says "I can't repeat myself. I need challenges" !!!! Here's a challenge for you, Sir - please tell us a good story, and spare us the bullshit. That would definitely mean you are not repeating yourself!
5. "Aishwarya Rai is dedicated and hardworking as a hero". Should we automatically expect her to be a lazy bimbo? "It is superfluous to talk about her screen presence"?? So, would it be profound to talk about her rather limited acting skills? Why can't we have enough integrity to at the very least, leave out this kindergarten level of marketing lousy product? Aishwarya Rai is eye candy. Nobody would have known her as an actress if she hadn't won beauty competitions. Let's leave it at that, shall we? We should already be sick of Shah Rukh Khan selling fairness cream like a gay prostitute. "Ladkiyon wali cream, kabhi nahin!" Ugh.
6. "We have robotic labs and futuristic sets". If a film is called "Robot" in any language, we don't exactly expect palaces and lush verdant valleys, do we? “Endhiran will be a stunning visual experience … I hope,” says the director. What is it with people using adjectives on their own work? Didn't he see what he made? Was it stunning? Considering "stunning" is now a higher bar, set by Avatar? Truth is, this rascal knows it is not that good, but he still could not help bullshitting about it, and then cutting himself short with embarrassment. And the author was stupid enough to publish it like that!
7. And now, the shit that is really missing from this article - What is the story about? Endhiran is about a robot that gradually becomes a human being, I heard. For some reason, that was Terminator, and Terminator two! Or was it too? God, I can think of "Blade Runner" which had a similar concept. In fact, I can think of Robocop as well. If I put some effort, I can think of so many films on this theme. Wonder if Shankar's script leaked out to Hollywood! Thank God their Robots didn't dance to Rahman's music. Now, that must be Shankar's instinctive, "completely original" genius.
And today is Friday the 13th. I swear to God, I ......
BSK.
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